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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

BREAKaBEAT said:
Some one forgot to mention that love, in its most exquisite state, is just that, exquisite. And that love, in its most painful state, is also just that. Painful. Love is never an emotion that stands by itself. Love, I am convinced is not even an emotion. Fear and Hate and sadness and Happiness are emotions because they are unequivocal to us the state they induce us to. Love on the other hand can cause rage and pain and jealousy and lust and happiness. It can create subliminal and regrettable moments. Love is certainly no emotion. Love is a binding tool to help us humans create relationships in which we teach and learn about ourselves and each other.
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This so very very true..... 8o
 
Come on DQ. Where's that well renowned positivity? Look at the bright side! Don't focus on the bad! ;)

BREAKa... <3

I'm starting to think that looking for love is a waste of time. As BREAKaBEAT has pointed out, love can be draining and tiring and unrewarding. Maybe looking for someone you're simply comfortable with is enough.
 
Breakabeat and I will always be best friends.

I think the whole premise that one can have an ex who is a best friend is incredibly foolhardy and ambitious.

But there you go, that's the way it is... I dont want it to be any different

The stuff that builds true lasting friendships seems to me to be a lot more permanent and binding than that which purely builds romantic relationships. I find solace and comfort in that.
 
lol :D They are the people who came to mind because I read the first page of this thread then posted :P

You're all sexy, and you all know it ;)
 
up all night said:
Come on DQ. Where's that well renowned positivity? Look at the bright side! Don't focus on the bad! ;)

BREAKa... <3

I'm starting to think that looking for love is a waste of time. As BREAKaBEAT has pointed out, love can be draining and tiring and unrewarding. Maybe looking for someone you're simply comfortable with is enough.
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I've thought about this, quite often, and I can't accept it.

There are plenty of people who I would be "comfortable" with, but I think that I would be left wondering whether there is someone else out there better suited.

I guess I have high expectations of what I want in a relationship, most importantly friendship. Someone I can have a coffee with in the morning, discuss what we both have on for the day and know in my heart that there is no one else in the world I would prefer to be telling.

Equally important is someone who can have a stomp in the morning at a bush party. Maybe its time to drop my standards ;)

I guess i'm just sick of meaningless pashes and one night stands. They mean nothing, they're so unfulfilling.

A romantic at heart perhaps, but i'm gonna hold out a little longer because I think there is someone out there ;)

Do you think that relationships work where you have nothing in common?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Horse
Do you think that relationships work where you have nothing in common?

I don't think I have ever been attracted to someone I have nothing in common with. There is always some level of understanding, a common ground from which I relate to someone. I guess I could have a superficial attraction to someone I couldn't relate to but I don't think it would go beyond anything other than the typical first stages of a relationship/ friendship.

That doesn't mean I have to find someone who is exactly like me [god I hope I never do meet a male version of me]. The differences are often what makes a relationship work... kind of like finding that person who can not only put up with your flaws but balance them out.

I love how I post all this stupid, opinionated shit when I'm single so obviously haven't worked anything out.
 
up all night said:
Come on DQ. Where's that well renowned positivity? Look at the bright side! Don't focus on the bad! ;)

BREAKa... <3

I'm starting to think that looking for love is a waste of time. As BREAKaBEAT has pointed out, love can be draining and tiring and unrewarding. Maybe looking for someone you're simply comfortable with is enough.
Click to expand...

I've thought about this, quite often, and I can't accept it.

There are plenty of people who I would be "comfortable" with, but I think that I would be left wondering whether there is someone else out there better suited.

I guess I have high expectations of what I want in a relationship, most importantly friendship. Someone I can have a coffee with in the morning, discuss what we both have on for the day and know in my heart that there is no one else in the world I would prefer to be telling.

Equally important is someone who can have a stomp in the morning at a bush party. Maybe its time to drop my standards ;)

I guess i'm just sick of meaningless pashes and one night stands. They mean nothing, they're so unfulfilling.

A romantic at heart perhaps, but i'm gonna hold out a little longer because I think there is someone out there ;)

Do you think that relationships work where you have nothing in common?
 
I guess i'm just sick of meaningless pashes and one night stands. They mean nothing, they're so unfulfilling.


Lol, that made me smile, as self-invloved as it makes you sound Horse I completely understand. I've been single for over a year now. I would be lying if I said that half my life is focused on mingling with the other sex. I love nothing more than female company either as freinds or in a sexual sense.

Aside from my (best)friend I think that I search for variety in everysense. I become really bored of people easily and its becoming frustrating for me at times. I find myself at a bar, at the movies at a cafe` listening to a girl talk about whatver she has to talk about whilst inside my head I'm thinking - I'm smiling, but I really don't care about a thing you are saying. For those of you that have met me or know me, you can probably imagine that I could continue to smile and the other party seems none the wiser that I'm already bored of them. I used to have absolutely no problem with going and getting drunk, getting laid and taking it as it comes. Over the last year I have found myself not calling girls when I said I would, and not going on second, third or whatver dates. I find myself sitting at a beautiful resturant overlooking the harbour, or in a really funky club thinking that its just getting a bit monotonous.

Probably one of the reasons that my (best)friend is still my best friend is because I didn't sleep with her when I met her. I think in a way its a great thing because we know each other inside out and have absolutely no inihibitions. It's the sort of relationship where I know she will be the best man at my wedding and me at hers so to speak. Most of our friends are waiting for us to ''wake up'' and get married already. Unfortunately I do not find her attractive (she is not unattractive at all) and so I cant forsee any sort of romantic relationship developing.

My main issue now is that i feel that I am exerting this image that I am constantly searching, analysing even from the point that I meet another girl. I'm positive the females will confirm that its easy to sense the intentions of someone when you speak to them. You know when they are flirting, or trying too (sometimes makes you want them less), you know when they are desperate (something makes you want them even lesser) or you can tell when they have that sense of being comfortable about who they are and just dont care about you (somtimes makes you want them more .

Althought I dont beleive that I have that desperate issue about myself I defintaely think that people can tell I'm searching. It's happend more often than not tha a girl will get confused as to whether I am interseted in them or not. I can't help but produce that aurua of being sterlie but charming. (I get a little confused myself sometimes:\)

Some one forgot to mention that love, in its most exquisite state, is just that, exquisite. And that love, in its most painful state, is also just that. Painful. Love is never an emotion that stands by itself. Love, I am convinced is not even an emotion. Fear and Hate and sadness and Happiness are emotions because they are unequivocal to us the state they induce us to. Love on the other hand can cause rage and pain and jealousy and lust and happiness. It can create subliminal and regrettable moments. Love is certainly no emotion. Love is a binding tool to help us humans create relationships in which we teach and learn about ourselves and each other.


Althought I apprecaite the emotion in this post it doesnt move me or touch me in any sense at all. I dont mean to say that its insignificant it just the concept of love is something that I have stored way in the back of my head behind alot of other shit. As [someone cant remember who]said, I think I am one the path to becoming asexual in terms of romantic relationships.
 
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up all night said:
Come on DQ. Where's that well renowned positivity? Look at the bright side! Don't focus on the bad! ;)
.
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How was that negative? I just wanted his perception cleared up :p
 
Mr. Horse said:


Equally important is someone who can have a stomp in the morning at a bush party. Maybe its time to drop my standards ;)
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I know theres a wink there but personally i don't think it's dropping your standards to seek someone who wants to go doofing with you. In fact i think your raising them because girls who go doofing don't tend to be prima donas that care if the break a nail or don't have a mirror to apply their makeup with or don't worry about messing up their hair. They actually just go out and enjoy life and have a great time being a messy pixie and playing in the woods like a big kid =D

*waits for the club sparks to fly* 8o

sorry it had to be said. I don't think dating people who go doofing is "lowering your standard" and i took offence to this but then again i'm pretty biased in this subject 8(
 
^ I think you may have missed the point of his post. He was saying that he has high standards because he wants a doofer as well as someone who he can talk to about anything and know that there is no-one else he'd rather be with.

*flounces off to mirror to apply make-up*
 
^^ I don't think i did then because i think it would be easier to find someone who doofs and have someone that you can talk about anything to to be the same person.

don't forget the mascara ;)
 
lol doofqueen.

Let me paint a picture for you of the ULTIMATE woman.

Smart, witty, funny, beautiful, fascinating, and stomps like nobody's business!

You took me completely the wrong way. By saying its time to lower my standards, i'm saying that perhaps its time to accept I may find someone I love that actually doesn't like going to doofs, as shocking as that might be ;) I reckon there is NOTHING sexier than seeing a girl just cutting sick on the dance floor, eyes closed, big smile just living life for the moment. But most have boyfriends, and the last thing on my mind at a doof is picking up, so it makes it hard.

We think on very similar lines DQ, I just think we have our wires crossed ;)

And yes, reading back on that post, it did make me seem completely self obsessed. Eek, those who know me know this is not the case at all. I think in every girl I meet I look for what might be sparks that fly, but SO often they don't.

The closest I got was when I was last up in Sydney. An old family friend who I think I fell in love with. But i've done the long distance relationship before and it ALWAYS ends in heartbreak for me, it sucks.

We'll see, something is out there for everyone I think.


Papermate: Beautifully articulated. Its nice to know there are other people going through exactly the same thing.
 
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Originally posted by doofqueen
^^ I don't think i did then because i think it would be easier to find someone who doofs and have someone that you can talk about anything to to be the same person.

Because of course people who go to doofs are a better breed of person - more empathetic, more intelligent, more understanding - while clubbers are all superficial and vaccuous.

Sorry, my mistake. :|

papermare: 'sterile but charming' =D That made me giggle. I don't think you have an air of either desperation or make it obvious that you're searching... not more than anyone else. I think in essence we're constantly sizing people up when we meet them - not always in terms of a relationship though. It's just human nature to try and work out how this new person will fit into your world. When I meet someone I'm definitely not thinking 'Is this guy relationship material?'
 
Yeah I think some of us are drawing too longer bows here, making over-arching generalisations and mistaking commonalities that we have with some groups of people to be profoundly and absolutely 'correct' human qualities.

We're always going to find people in our chosen peer groups to have more admirable traits than those in other non conforming groups. Everything is relative depending upon the person who beholds it.
 
papermate said:


Some one forgot to mention that love, in its most exquisite state, is just that, exquisite. And that love, in its most painful state, is also just that. Painful. Love is never an emotion that stands by itself. Love, I am convinced is not even an emotion. Fear and Hate and sadness and Happiness are emotions because they are unequivocal to us the state they induce us to. Love on the other hand can cause rage and pain and jealousy and lust and happiness. It can create subliminal and regrettable moments. Love is certainly no emotion. Love is a binding tool to help us humans create relationships in which we teach and learn about ourselves and each other.


Althought I apprecaite the emotion in this post it doesnt move me or touch me in any sense at all. I dont mean to say that its insignificant it just the concept of love is something that I have stored way in the back of my head behind alot of other shit. As [someone cant remember who]said, I think I am one the path to becoming asexual in terms of romantic relationships.
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Haha.

That statement was not meant to move you, but make you understand that love is not an emotion. We are not bound by emotions, but by the substance of love.

And that in life, love is something that we shouldnt be trying to chase.

I find love insignificant of relationships, and that it is useless as an 'emotion'

PS : Its breakabeat !!!
 
Originally posted by Macksta
That statement was not meant to move you, but make you understand that love is not an emotion. We are not bound by emotions, but by the substance of love.


You see, try as I might I have absoutely no idea what that means.
 
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