Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!

[cuddlefish]

You know it's funny what Candyflip and Backho have been saying. As someone who hasn't been single for quite a long time and before that having had my fair share of long term singledom. I found that after I had gotten together with my girl and obviously dropping the idea of going aftersome, I found girls would start coming up to me.

Even though sometimes it was while my girl was actually there (trying do the competitive thing I guess) I think that my new positive attitude/outlook on life was attractive. Part of it was confidence as well. Not caring to much about what some girl thought of me, I would give them a bit of shit for a bit of fun or even as an attempt to get them to leave me be and they liked it!! It never rains but it pours. 8(

I guess if you stop chasing after it, but not locking yourself away from the world, it comes to you. Relax, have fun and you'll be sweet.

Cuddles

 

[Wacky]

Haven't been here for a while.

Hope everyone is doing ok?

 

[Wacky]

This thread is still going.


Yay!!!!

 

[Wacky]

I'm still single,have been for a while and to honest am quite sick of it.

Sick of being stuffed around by girls.I guess they prefer abuse from dickheads,he,he,he... :lol

I go out to all sorts of different places and no luck("Even tried via friends,people I know,etc,etc....").When I don't look or try I get the same result too

Girls I've met give me the big come on and then I find out they have boyfriends("One such girl I had known via a friend for a bit and personally feel she used me as an option and picked some other guy") or no interest at all, or they 'just want to be friends' cough' 'cough' bullshit or "I'm too nice a guy" 'cough' cough' more bullshit.

So should I reply to the "I'm too nice" comment with a fuck off?,he,he,he,he.................

Anyway,thought I'd just vent since this is the place for that and I'm feeling bitter towards girls NOW too .Plus cause of being stuffed around my trust level with women is low.

So,where are the nice girls to meet? ("Suggestions to help me feel more positive about my situation and maybe meet someone :D ")

 

[star_beats]

Well,

If it's of anyones interest, it appears i am departing this thread...

It is of my interest hun!!! Well done boyo

Hope to see you round soon!!

 

[BloSs0m]

Anyway,thought I'd just vent since this is the place for that and I'm feeling bitter towards girls NOW too .Plus cause of being stuffed around my trust level with women is low.

So,where are the nice girls to meet? ("Suggestions to help me feel more positive about my situation and maybe meet someone :D ") [/B]

sweethearts! dont hate all us girlies just coz ur sour!!!

some of us are lovely!! and i want all u silly boys to kno that! there are lovely girlies always out there, all u have to do is be confident!

and as a tip: a switched on girlie who would be worth anything to a boyo, can sense from 10 miles away who the boysies are at the clubs who are looking to hook in, and we're wary and well stay away from u!!!!! becasue sometimes the one looking for a "relationship" can be so very easily confused with the one who are jsut loking to gary. so dont go there!

jsut wait. if its gonna happen. its gonna happen. if its not. then it wont!

xoxo! peace

 

[Cohaagen]

yeah... i'm sick of it too...

i'm just gonna be honest here... there are LOTS of nice girls out there who i've met and are really nice... but the following rules apply to them all at this stage

1. they already have a boyfriend
2. i don't find them attractive
3. they are too far away to consider having a relationship with

i am not a bad person at all, and i do want to meet somebody and have a meaningful relationship, but i have absolutely no way of working out how to make this happen. there doesn't appear to be any method to use to ensure success with this task. i've done my best to do my best... i have a good job and money, i have a career, i am polite and honest, i treat people with respect as best i can, i look after myself and do my best to make the most of my appearance, i do as much as i can myself to be nice... and still nothing.

after 24 years, NOTHING!!!

it just doesn't make any sense. inside me i have a lot of integrity and if i met the right girl for me i would treat her like a princess and be totally dedicated to her... i want to get married and have children one day and raise them to be good people, that is a very important thing for me but how can that happen if i don't meet somebody who shares that belief? i just don't know where to begin looking for that sort of person, and then if i find them or i think i find them, what do i have to do to make sure they know who i am and know i'm not trying to be a sleaze or trying just to have a bit of fun... but also that i am interested in getting to know them better and perhaps in the future enter into a relationship with them?

i have been trying very hard for a long time... but i can't see how i can achieve this goal. its driving me mad. and i am serious... it literally is driving me to the point of insanity.

Cohaa.

 

[stacyrox]

Dude.... you're way too fuckin serious. It comes across to me that a relationship to you is about 3 kids and a mortgage.. you need to lighten up a little. Stop looking so far into the future. That day will come when it comes.. dont dwell on it now, you're missing out on a world of fun.

Relationships are about meeting someone and thinking "wow.. I really enjoy being around this person". Its about meeting up for lunch, chatting, fooling around.. having FUN. Its about doing silly things to get each other attention and the tingles up your spine when your eyes meet.. Its about fucking up and being hurt, but learning from your mistakes and becoming a better person because of them.

Not all relationships are meant to last.. and who cares? Some relationships are just about a time and place where you were in your life where you met this cool person and had some really fucking good sex.. it doesnt really matter what you do, sometimes you'll get hurt, other times you just drift apart.. but the whole point of the exercise is to have fun! The settling down to a serious relationship comes a lot later. Focus on the fun now.

Believe me, more girls are attracted to the fun outgoing carefree kind of guy than the serious 'lets settle down and get married' type.

stace.

 

[candyflip]

Oh Stace, thank you for making me remember what I left out of my voluminous post from last night... :

LIGTHEN UP BOY!!!... You are wound way too tight. For god's sake, this is supposed to be fun, NOT about earning some scout badge after you've ticked all the boxes and crossed all the "t's"! Love doesn't happen that way. It can't be planned in that fashion.

Just.... let ......go

 

[Hardicus]

Addikal - I just hope the girl likes the smae music as you. I'm going to have to think very hard before I enter another relationship with somebody of different music tastes, or more importantly, of restricted music tastes, as it put untold strain on my last relationship.

 

[CuPillar]

wouldn't you know it...

i meet the most amazing girl on the internet... we have so much in common its not funny, but not too much in common, she is too good to be true, she likes arthouse cinema, poetry, art, music, history. she has a dark side too which is a real turn-on. she loves philosophy and is very intelligent, and to top it all off she is absolutely beautiful... and she likes me too...

but she lives in Perth!!!

my mind is numb, i can't think straight... i think i'm gonna die.

love is absolute torture, but i just can't stop.

all the girls i meet who i have the feeling about seem to be out of reach... why do i have to be denied for so long? i'm absolutely love-sick... its terrible!

WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!

WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!

WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Cohaa.

im from perth..... ....

so.... what was her number again???

hahaha, im only joking...

copper

 

[Shnouzerpuff]

^^shit really?

 

[Cohaagen]

Dude.... you're way too fuckin serious. It comes across to me that a relationship to you is about 3 kids and a mortgage.. you need to lighten up a little. Stop looking so far into the future. That day will come when it comes.. dont dwell on it now, you're missing out on a world of fun.

Believe me, more girls are attracted to the fun outgoing carefree kind of guy than the serious 'lets settle down and get married' type.

stace.

well i guess that rules me out then... i wish i could have fun and just go with the flow and run around and all that... it would be nice and i would like to do it... but i need to feel that my life is worth something to somebody or that i am achieving something worthwhile or meaningful with my time.

a relationship is not to me about 3 kids and a mortgage at all. i despise the common social level that most people live their lives on. i want to get out and do lots of fun things (sex included). there is so much more to this life than just clicking into that superficial mould and muddling through every day just like the other. i really don't want such a day to come... i want to enjoy life and make the most of it. i just don't know how to do it, that's all.

i feel i need somebody to set me free.

Cohaa.

 

[cuddlefish]

You waiting for someone else to give you a sence of self worth and a relationship wil NOT give it to you if all the things that you previously listed don't already. It can only be found within yourself grasshopper.

if i met the right girl for me i would treat her like a princess and be totally dedicated to her...

Doesn't make a relationship work. Its cool to do on occasion but if the entire relationship revolves around this sort of premise even if that's what she seems to want, you'll both get sick of it real quick. A relationship is built on trust, openness, honesty but that all takes time. It starts out with fun, playfullness but these should always be there.

One more thing, having girls as just friends is by no means a bad thing. You see these friends have....yup you guessed it, other friends who are also female. If you like them you're probably going to get along with their friends and your friends can give a bit more info on the situation with their friends. It's much easier than going in blind. Get as many friend as possible.

 

[anna!]

well i guess that rules me out then... i wish i could have fun and just go with the flow and run around and all that... it would be nice and i would like to do it... but i need to feel that my life is worth something to somebody or that i am achieving something worthwhile or meaningful with my time.

Having a good time, connecting with someone on any sort of level, enjoying yourself and being part of a great relationship (despite how long it lasts) is always worthwhile and meaningful. I'm so confused about what you want out of a relationship - if you don't want to just go with the flow and have fun, but you also want to achieve something worthwhile and meaningful - what exactly is it you're looking for?

No girl wants to feel tied down as soon as she meets a guy. The last thing that's going to win you the girl of your dreams is being so full-on and serious the instant you meet. You'll scare them off. In fact, I'm pretty sure you've already scared off all the people who've read this thread. There's nothing at all attractive about someone who doesn't realise that the funamental basis of a relationship - a good, functional, healthy relationship - is to be able to have a good time together and feel comfortable in your own skin when you're with each other.

What constitutes a meaningful relationship to you? What is it that you want to do in your relationships that we haven't already covered? Do you want to sit at home and eat three-course meals by candelight and Italian arias every night? Do you want to spend all day holding hands and gazing longingly? Or perhaps talk at length about your future and names for your unborn children?

Anyone who expects that from any relationship is delluded. Perhaps because you haven't had a relationship in the past, you fail to realise that the girl who fits your mould probably doesn't exist. Being in an intense, constantly lovey, overpoweringly emotional partnership is NOT fun, it's NOT appealing and it's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

 

[Taliana]

Only one thing, i have a feeling that some day, either with her or with another girl my passion for my music will cause hassles. I am so used to it that i don't realise the importance i place on music in general life.
e.g. lying down in bed with partner and although i am totally wrapped in them i'm still kinda tapping my hands to the beat and listening to the lyrics intently and i have no qualms about leaving this position of calm/comfort to change the music - i feel it enhances the situation and if the music wasn't what i wanted to be hearing, itd have an adverse effect on my mood.

Basically ive said to her already that my love for music is NOT going to change, and if its a problem - too bad.

Selfish? Narr, realistic. I live to create music.

I know what you mean on this one... why do you think actors are always going out with actors, musos with musos, because having that common interest, is another connection and you both UNDERSTAND!!! Not saying im in this boat or anything, but when it comes to such a passion like this... sometimes its easier to stay in the circle. Of course not all the time, but it just makes things so much easier...

Ive a friend who is very into her music... she dj's, works in a rehearsal studio... blah blah, and the last few bfs she have, well, they get it (ie they are in the scene, but they arent as into it, workwise, as she is)- anyway. it got in the way in all relationships. sshes now with someone, both as into it, and they understand.

and with me, i always prefer to find someone into the scene... i mean sometimes it can be bad, but it just makes things so much easier relationship wise.

hey and congrats on ya chickie.

.... i think its funny... im not single anymore, but i still find so much interest and am so USED to clicking this thread... ??

 

[Taliana]

i feel i need somebody to set me free.

Cohaa.

Take some acid.

 

[Adikkal]

Taliana - thats exactly right. When something is such a large part of your life you pretty much have to be with someone who understands and accepts it, or better yet, shares the same passion.

I've got a feeling that for me to be in any real long term type of relationship, the person is gonna have to be very into music - so there we go, narrowing the criteria even further, damn!

Heh

Adikkal

 

[Cohaagen]

Take some acid.

if only 'twere that easy... :b

yeah... i agree with you anna, i have scared away some of the most beautiful girls i've met because i've been too intense. one girl actually told me i scared her away because i have too many rules. i am still regretting this because the moment i met her i could see into her soul, that doesn't happen often for me (actually its never happened before). i don't know how not to be so intense and rigid tho, this is my true personality and eventually even if i act all cool and chilled, my true self surfaces eventually. i am far too higly-strung. i think a lot of the problem lies in that my job is far too easy for me and i feel totally unchallenged by it. but then again, i don't really mind because it gives me time to think about other things like a relationship and things like that.

i cannot relax. i just can't. i think i might be mentally ill. well actually i don't think i'm mentally ill, its just i have no balancing factor in my life. there is too much me there. my brain is operating like a laser, circulating and circulating within itself and compounding my personality into a state where it can only be expressed in extremes. i find that when i am around people who i find i can relate to and open up to this compounding of my personality diminishes and i actually feel a part of a social circle rather than feeling totally alone and different from everybody else. basically i need outlets for my mind. this is one of the reasons why i love computers so much, it allows me to take my logic and fantasy and create worlds in an environment that can approximate my own imagination. but unfortunately i have no such outlet for my passion. hence my passions have compounded and now i am an intensly passionate person, far too passionate for anybody to want to expose themselves to. the fire is too hot for anybody to want to approach.

look at the situation. i ring people and ask them to do things with me, they refuse. nobody ever rings me and asks me if i would like to catch up and do something sometime.

I ALWAYS HAVE TO DO ALL THE WORK!!!

nobody ever wants to do something to help me or something nice to me, they don't even notice me there. i have to scream at the top of my lungs to try to be heard and even when i do this, people may turn and notice me for a split-second but they eventually just resume their own lives and forget about me. i try to make a noise, but i either end up being too loud and scaring people away, or too queit and nobody even hears me.

nobody truly needs me, i really do not feel important. i just feel alone in the world.

Cohaa.

 

[cuddlefish]

my brain is operating like a laser, circulating and circulating within itself and compounding my personality into a state where it can only be expressed in extremes

Mate you really need to get laid..... find some release man. Preferably not via the destruction of other peoples property, or your own for that matter. If you were in Bris I could hook you up with some army reserve guys. They know how to get in touch with the best 'women of the night'.

Cuddles