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Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!

I definately feel I *should*. Just that it's tough to do the right thing when every time you are with that person you get that awesome "butterflies" feeling.

And every time you aren't with them you are wishing you were.

Karma is going to give me a brutal smackdown for this I am sure but right now I am a slave to emotion rather than logic. The rollercoaster ride of dizzying high's and earth-shattering low's I have found myself on is not ideal, but seem's to be league's ahead of feeling near totally alone.

Might sound very hypocritical of me to say given my current situation but I'm sorry to hear about you being on the recieving end of multiple cheaters.
 
Shnouzerpuff - I can relate very well to your situation man, however the speical girl in my situation was a long term friend. Its a very hard road to walk as the constant struggle between emotions and logic rocks your foundations.

You know what is right, you know what is wrong, yet emotions distort thought and you let it go along

It is a treacherous trail you're walking and its bound to end in heartache for someone. The "dizzying high's and earth-shattering low's" are all part of that journey and any advice on what is ''right", that anyone will give you, will not change your feelings. Thats the problem i guess, that you will take the lows and the risks involved, because the highs elevate you to a position so amazing the concept of logic seems laughable.

When you can distance yourself from the scope of what you're doing, and 'forget' about the complication of your situation, its all the more easy to become the only 2 members in your own little world, if you just ignore it, it will go away....

But it won't.

It will come crashing back down for someone, and you ARE involved.
Either get off the rollercoaster the next time it gives you an opportunity, or enjoy the ride, hold the fuck on and expect to be thrown right off those tracks...

Remember though, if she's doing it with you, she might do it to you.

I leave you with a simple piece of realisation from me,

"The walls of logic wear very thin, when you try and box your feelings in"

Adikkal

EDIT: Just one more thing, i have to laugh at the *should*.. Dude, i can relate so very well, the amount of times the phrase, "I should go.." was uttered only stay up together chatting n hugging then realising it was morning, fuck..
 
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Well, that was a response post, now here is my wonderful world of wizardry.

I, unfortunately, have also begun to become interested in a woman who is involved. I did not know this until we had already equally displayed interest in each other, and when she talked about this guy he was never her 'boyfriend'... she was 'kinda seeing somebody' and she kept playing it down.

Basically, it didnt seem like she was that into him so i was like "Thats cool, no rush, do what you want to" - mainly becos i knew she had an interest in me and i didnt wanna be gettin myself into any messy situations. This, does not mean i cannot see her though. I have hung out with her 2 times now and its been really cool both times, but its definitely coming to the point where she makes some sort of decision...
Mainly becos its obvious we are both into each other, and want to be closer than we can. So i guess its a matter of, how much is she into this guy? I guess time will tell. I will exercise patience, definitely still wanna see her, hang out with her but have to operate with a degree of self control. It'll be for the best... i hope

Peace

Adikkal
 
Adikkal said:

I guess time will tell
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that is it my boy!! I was involved with someone when I met the love of my life- lucky for me we held off (for an entire 3 weeks ;)). My point is, is that he stuck around, and that time DID tell =D 9 months later and every day gets better. If you feel that connection with someone, and you know that they may feel the same way I do believe that it si worth sticking around for :)
 
Shnouzerpuff - do you really want to go out with a girl who doesn't have enough respect for her current boyfriend not to cheat on him?

what's to say she won't end up doing the same thing to you?
 
in reference to the "if shes doing it with u, she might do it to u", it may not necesarrily mean that she will. i've been the "mistress" b4 and in no way does that mean i will EVER cheat on my boyfriend.

bah! everything depends on the situation so its so hard to comment. just cos i wont cheat, it doesnt mean she wont either.
 
Something I've said to Shnouzerpuff in chat before and something I've posted in SLR a number of times is that the biggest problem with the If she did it with you, she'll do it to you thing is the insecurity that it will stir up in a person. No matter how rational you think you are, in the back of your mind will always be the "what if"

Relationships that work are usually built on strong foundations of trust, how do you silence that niggling doubt? Not everybody can, she (or he depending on the situation) may be 100% faithful to you but how do you make sure that you don't question that?

It's a rare person who can be the man/woman that somebody is cheating with and be secure enough in not only the relationship but also themself to rise above any doubts that may be created out of the situation.
 
Thanks loads for the responses guys, Addikal your's especially struck a chord.

*shnouzerpuff straps himself back into the flimsy and frayed rollercoaster seatbelts and gets ready for another series of loops, dips and risks.

Wish me luck. I am sure you guys will have me back here 100% soon enough anyway...

:)
 
ok, so so far i have heard a lot of discussion about people "cheating", and now the question i pose to the thread is:

What do you consider to be cheating??

nin_fuct and i have been talking about this in light of recent personal circumstance, and have found that cheating can mean differnt things for different people.

For example, i wouldn't consider someone thinking about being with another person, or a simple kiss on the cheek necessarily cheating, however the combination of the two could be very different.

Similarly, are things done whilst drunk/high/on a dare excluded from the cheating scenario, or is the subject always irrespective of context?

Obviously it's difficult to give a general answer to this question, but it's something most people don't even think about when they use the term.

Thoughts?
 
^^^ Nice post count Kitty~

Cheating is a topic i know all too well.
For me cheating is when you act out your feelings. Like CM said, the thought about it isn't cheating, but once you act out those thoughts, thats when you cross the line, in my eyes anyway. It also depends on the feelings of the cheater. I mean i happliy saw my girl kiss other guys, knowing it was purley a friendship kiss, but when the kiss has other feelings behind it....well thats a whole new ball game.
I don't agree that once a cheater always a cheater. Mistakes can happen, especially under the influence of drugs, but i don't think thats an excuse. Drugs can just bring out feelings that you may not of acted upon normally, but are still there anyway.
I've had thoughts about cheating of previous g/fs, but at the end of the day, i'm with that person for a reason. Humans aren't perfect, we all have our ups and downs.
People usually cheat because they are missing something from their current relationship. I just wish that cheaters would talk about their problems with their respective partners before cheating, it could save a lot of hassles. But if you can't talk about your issues, then its time to move on anyway, but do so before you move on with another person. It all comes down to communication, and trust.

Just my 2c....

DJC*
 
Well firstly Hi all, my first post in this social area, I think.

Haha, saw the single part of the topic and thought Ok this sounds like me.

Me being single and all.

Anyways..........Cheating..............one of the reasons I am single.

A previous GF did the dirty on me big time when I went away for a weekend but blindly due to my love for her, I took her back and tried to get on with things.

She did it again and while this broke my heart, I still loved her so bad and just wanted to have the two of us get over it and I guess hope it never happened again.

Then I realised that once I could cop but twice I just couldnt because it suggested she would do it again and so slowly I convinced myself that she was not the girl for me.

By the way, I am in my early forties and at the time she was about 28.

I still care about her and see her fairly often at different parties as she is good friends with my brothers misses.

But I no longer love her.

She is happily with another guy now and still doing the dirty on him............I know because I have had sex with her myself since she has been with him.

I think the whole idea sux big time and has really made me scared of being in another relationship.

I had a couple after her but neither came to anything..............mostly my fault I suspect, because I am shit scared it might happen again.

Yes I am lonely...........have a great couple of mates that I spend heaps of time with but they cant be there for u all the time and they both have women of there own to service.

Anyways thats my two cents worth.

In a nutshell..........cheating sux and I would never ever even considering cheating on someone I loved........if I did then it would indicate pretty quickly that I didnt really care about them very much.

Keep smiling all.
 
Mmm,

Yeah, you want the definition of confusion? Cheating on someone you're with, with someone you love.
Well, there's a feeling of ultimate clarity but the surface level is filled with a load of confusion. I'd also like to second the motion that just because you have cheated once doesnt mean you are always going to.

Experience is the best teacher, if you let it be.
Don't dwell on the past, but think about the past and analyse it - look at it from varying perspectives. Think: "What can i gain from this?" "How can i turn this into a positive?".

I think the essence of cheating comes down to the feelings in combination with the action. As has been stated, if theres no feelings behind it, a kiss mite have no real weighting at all. But if there is feelings there, then.... well, its a different story.

Adikkal
 
Haha, thanx man :)

I got this 'wisdom' the hard way. Putting myself through a long and arduous emotional journey with many ups n downs. I learned alot from it and for me, the biggest positive about it (apart from the wonderful times i had) were the lyrics i wrote in those times of intense emotion.

If you are intersted in reading any PM me, they might be of some use to you :) Heh,

peace

Adikkal
 
shnouzer: ive said it to you a number of times babe and i will say it again...all the advice in the world cant make your mind up for you...only YOU know what you wana do and ONLY you can do it.

a friend once told me...isnt it better to of taken the chance than to not of taken it at all? :\

i really dont mind still being single...it will be coming up to nearlly twelve months since my last physical/serious/committed relationship. yes a whole year 8) but hey...i dont mind cause i am not missing out on anything :)
 
Taliana said:
I dont see being single as affecting anything in my life

Im happy

Im independent

I have a great bunch of friends, so that makes up a lot of the being single boredom factor- never a need or chance to be bored when u have great friends surrounding you.

I just dont see the point in having a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend- sure ive had many opportunities- but if i dont connect with them completely and if i cant seem to see im going to give myself wholly to them, i dont tend to take it any further..

and im picky :):) but hey...such is life.
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join the club.
 
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