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AADD Moderators: andyturbo
Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!
- Thread starter Adz-O-Rama
- Start date
up all night
Bluelight Crew
A cautious man who wants to see more of you.
Either that or he's in the market for a new arch nemesis.
Backo said:
^^^ Sure was. We've been to the movies a couple of times and he came over for a baked dinner with the family on Saturday night. We've been chatting heaps lately ... and we were on the topic of friends and people who would never be more than friends and he came out with that ...
He then said "Might as well say this now, it's going to come up eventually, what do you want out of us? Just friends, f*ck buddies, something more or something less?"
To which I replied "Hmm yeah, guess it would have come up down the track. I was planning on taking things as they come and seeing what happens"
Good reply ?!?!?!?!
I don't wanna ruin any chance (if there is one)
Solitude before love
Dante I hear what your saying.
(IMHO)
Unfortunately, I don't think any of us (including me) will be able to find happiness with a partner if we can not achieve happiness in solitude. Being comfortable with ourselves is so important to our own well-being, and if we seek this from others I think we end up draining those relationships.
My recent departure from the couples market and the proceeding emotions that I have felt and continue to feel are amazing. The ups and downs that I experience are all part of the process. I generally have this feeling of loneliness, and start thinking back to my ex. Not just her, but the entire time I have known her.
Thought processes are strange, but we must be happy with ourselves before attaching ourselves to others. From an Evolutionary Stand-Point, monogamy seems strange. But being happy doesn't. So I am focussing on happiness.
I have been pretty down all weekend, but Monday Blues have not appeared, and today is already better than the last two. How this works I have no idea. That's just how I am coping I suppose.
People come into our lives for a reason and life is a learning and evolving process. If we don't learn we don't evolve. We learn from our mistakes.
And like you Dante I now know what I don't want in a partner. That's a positive! I know there is someone out there for me, whether it is the next girl or the girl after that, or still many years from now. One thing I look forward to is being happy, and my partner complementing that further.
(/IMHO)
With all this said:
I have needs. At the same time, females have needs.
Question
Why can't there be a mutual exchange of need fulfillment without the prospect of having to "commit" to this idea of monogamy?
This is an interesting point in that there are many of us in similar circumstances to mine on both sides of the gender wall. So, what is keeping us all so tense?
Dante I hear what your saying.
(IMHO)
Unfortunately, I don't think any of us (including me) will be able to find happiness with a partner if we can not achieve happiness in solitude. Being comfortable with ourselves is so important to our own well-being, and if we seek this from others I think we end up draining those relationships.
My recent departure from the couples market and the proceeding emotions that I have felt and continue to feel are amazing. The ups and downs that I experience are all part of the process. I generally have this feeling of loneliness, and start thinking back to my ex. Not just her, but the entire time I have known her.
Thought processes are strange, but we must be happy with ourselves before attaching ourselves to others. From an Evolutionary Stand-Point, monogamy seems strange. But being happy doesn't. So I am focussing on happiness.
I have been pretty down all weekend, but Monday Blues have not appeared, and today is already better than the last two. How this works I have no idea. That's just how I am coping I suppose.
People come into our lives for a reason and life is a learning and evolving process. If we don't learn we don't evolve. We learn from our mistakes.
And like you Dante I now know what I don't want in a partner. That's a positive! I know there is someone out there for me, whether it is the next girl or the girl after that, or still many years from now. One thing I look forward to is being happy, and my partner complementing that further.
(/IMHO)
With all this said:
I have needs. At the same time, females have needs.
Question
Why can't there be a mutual exchange of need fulfillment without the prospect of having to "commit" to this idea of monogamy?
This is an interesting point in that there are many of us in similar circumstances to mine on both sides of the gender wall. So, what is keeping us all so tense?
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Tarsarlan
Bluelighter
I think the problem with a reply like that is that it doesn't actually tell him anything... It doesn't say what you want...
It's not a bad reply because it at least says that you're willing for something to happen, but it's a very non-committal reply... If you do know what you want, you should tell him...
sugarpony: I think it's social conditioning that keeps us all tense... The social norm is monogamy, and it's hard to go against the norm unless there's others doing the same thing...
It's kinda ironic that quite often people doing something different are all doing it the same...
But aside from that, I think we humans in this society aren't capable of polygamy, and won't be until we can overcome our feelings of mistrust, jealousy and selfishness...
*shrug* I think our society's prudishness is embarrassing and archaic...
'Course that doesn't mean i'm going to go having sex with everyone I can, one person is enough for me... I just don't think our society should tell us that there must only be one...
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Tarsarlan: Your reading into it to much.
What I meant - in a nice type of way - is that I haven't had sex in a while. These are the needs Maslow and I refer to.
While I am not looking for anyone, those potentials that I have come across - in which have enjoyed their company and wish to pursue some fun with - at bars, cafes and other social engagements, seem to want a level of commitment from me before the sex variable enters the equation. Why do these girls want a relationship, I have just left one and don't wanna be back.
I just want to have fun. The cindy lauper track of girls just wanna have fun springs to mind. Does this mean that females see sex as boring. If they only stopped wanting committment, I would show them fun, or at least something pretty funny!! HAHAHA
Am I to lower my standards and or persue avenues with people I don't feel comfortable with to relieve my sexual urges?
I would say the social norm of monogamy was brought on by religion. But woah! I have asked to many question, and that is a can of worms I don't want to open. So I have showed you that label, but that's all your getting.
See, if I put it like that, people will think rather peculiarly about me, as if my new agenda is sexual promiscuity. But that isn't it at all, maybe it's a residual factor left over from my relationship, will this pass? Eh... *shrugs* anybody else feel like this?
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sugarpony throws over a petra pak of fresh apple juice to spaz79
sorry about the delay with these fluffy pink watermelons belisimo, they just _L-U-R-V_ singing in the rain, and it has been pouring in Melbourne. Got to appease the little tykes.
What I meant - in a nice type of way - is that I haven't had sex in a while. These are the needs Maslow and I refer to.
While I am not looking for anyone, those potentials that I have come across - in which have enjoyed their company and wish to pursue some fun with - at bars, cafes and other social engagements, seem to want a level of commitment from me before the sex variable enters the equation. Why do these girls want a relationship, I have just left one and don't wanna be back.
I just want to have fun. The cindy lauper track of girls just wanna have fun springs to mind. Does this mean that females see sex as boring. If they only stopped wanting committment, I would show them fun, or at least something pretty funny!! HAHAHA
Am I to lower my standards and or persue avenues with people I don't feel comfortable with to relieve my sexual urges?
I would say the social norm of monogamy was brought on by religion. But woah! I have asked to many question, and that is a can of worms I don't want to open. So I have showed you that label, but that's all your getting.
See, if I put it like that, people will think rather peculiarly about me, as if my new agenda is sexual promiscuity. But that isn't it at all, maybe it's a residual factor left over from my relationship, will this pass? Eh... *shrugs* anybody else feel like this?
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sugarpony throws over a petra pak of fresh apple juice to spaz79
sorry about the delay with these fluffy pink watermelons belisimo, they just _L-U-R-V_ singing in the rain, and it has been pouring in Melbourne. Got to appease the little tykes.
El Scorcho
Bluelighter
Hey - can I just say - I have observed this thread on and off for some time, and I have seen all sorts of interesting conversations going on - but just what is this thread all about? I mean, tell me if I'm wrong, but a Bluelight Single is simply a Bluelighter who isn't getting any, and is looking for a bit of lovin' - right? And those Bluelight Singles observing and posting on this thread are doing so simply because they are hoping to chance upon an opportunity to quell those deep, driving animal desires of love, lust, and yearning that none of us can deny having.
Well - I am a Bluelight Single (a VERY ELIGIBLE Bluelight Single, I might add...) - and I would like to tell you all that I am posting on this thread coz I am hoping to find the girl of my dreams. I know she is out there, and she could just be one of you...!
So - if you are reading this, surely you can't deny that you came to this thread because of the reasons outlined in the first paragraph. See - we're all here for the same reason!
Now - I invite you to respond...
Well - I am a Bluelight Single (a VERY ELIGIBLE Bluelight Single, I might add...) - and I would like to tell you all that I am posting on this thread coz I am hoping to find the girl of my dreams. I know she is out there, and she could just be one of you...!
So - if you are reading this, surely you can't deny that you came to this thread because of the reasons outlined in the first paragraph. See - we're all here for the same reason!
Now - I invite you to respond...
BopGirl said:
Sounds like the sort of person who's sick of mind games and just wants a straight answer from a girl. I've said the exact same thing plenty of times, usually after one or two dates, usually when I already know what I want with that person and am trying to find out whether that is compatiable with what she wants.
I've never recieved such a vague answer though.
Would have driven me mad personally sugarpony said:
Are you talking about sex purely for the purposes of gratifying sexual impulses? Because that's already been invented.
PS. Thumbs up to Maslow and humanistic theories of behaviour!
El Scorcho said:
I thought this thread was for the discussion of issues related to single life, dating and relationships. You're right though, cheesy personal ads would be so much better.
doofqueen
Bluelighter
Bopgirl....what that guy said to you is pretty much what i say when i meet someone because i always get anxious about where i stand and whats going to happen and i think i tend to rush into things to quickly...i guess i just need to know at what level we are on and whats happening...the main reason why i say this though is the fact that i hate games and bullshit and like to know where i stand
Originally when we first start chatting the guy in question said he didn't think he was ready to jump straight into another relationship ... so I thought if I take it nice and slowly, he might change his feelings over time ... so when he asked what I want, I just figured that saying I wanted a relationship would send him packing ....
Who knows ...
Who knows ...
Shnouzerpuff
Bluelighter
I feel fucking hollow.
lonliness sucks.
lonliness sucks.
Cosmic Mist
Bluelighter
lonliness does suck. But you need to feel low in order to appreciate the highs. I don't want to upset anyone by saying this, but i truely believe it. I hope things work out for you hon - just ride the wave and things will improve for you if you stick to your guns.
hoptis:
I'm saying that there seems to be some sort of hang-up with the few - 3 in number - girls I have actually proposed the idea of sex for fun. I feel as if our youth culture - affected by Home and Away & Neighbours - seems to have somehow forgotten about sex for the purpose of gratification.
I'm not in any hurry for this to occur to me in particular. But I ask myself two things, and propose something for the masses:
a) why is it that a relationship is what these girls are after;
b) should I bother pursuing this line of thinking, 'cause so far it doesn't seem possible;
masses) Is there a balance out there, or I am getting all the anomalies?
To Bopgirl, I must say that your response is ASYS Q - After a nice bottle of red <Thistle Hill Cab/Shiraz 2000, 3.5/5> I tend to make up words - A System Quality Response. I think your on the right track.
Hoptis said this:
ohh... I think you need one of these...
sugarpony tosses a fluffy pink watermelon that sings in the rain along with some skittles to Bopgirl. Listen to the melons, they'll lead you to your decision. The skittles will provide the energy to carry through with your decision, oh and they taste really yummy as well !
I'm saying that there seems to be some sort of hang-up with the few - 3 in number - girls I have actually proposed the idea of sex for fun. I feel as if our youth culture - affected by Home and Away & Neighbours - seems to have somehow forgotten about sex for the purpose of gratification.
I'm not in any hurry for this to occur to me in particular. But I ask myself two things, and propose something for the masses:
a) why is it that a relationship is what these girls are after;
b) should I bother pursuing this line of thinking, 'cause so far it doesn't seem possible;
masses) Is there a balance out there, or I am getting all the anomalies?
To Bopgirl, I must say that your response is ASYS Q - After a nice bottle of red <Thistle Hill Cab/Shiraz 2000, 3.5/5> I tend to make up words - A System Quality Response. I think your on the right track.
Hoptis said this:
Seems that this guy is trying to rush to a decision. Take heed.
ohh... I think you need one of these...
sugarpony tosses a fluffy pink watermelon that sings in the rain along with some skittles to Bopgirl. Listen to the melons, they'll lead you to your decision. The skittles will provide the energy to carry through with your decision, oh and they taste really yummy as well !
PsychoKitten
Bluelight Crew
I just thought you guys might like to know
that this thread is the most replied to thread on bluelight
that this thread is the most replied to thread on bluelight
El Scorcho
Bluelighter
Backo said:
hoptis said:
You guys are so right...!!! This thread should be stripped right back down to bare, ugly basics - you know you all want it - cheesy personal ads. OK - here goes...
Name: El Scorcho
Age: 23 and a bit...
Looking for: LOVE...!!! (Girls only - sorry guys...
).
(Not the best photo, but at least it's recent...)
So - come on ya'll - show us yer personals...!!!
Macksta - how did you know his name? I talk about him that much? hehe Yeah, tis Erik that I'm all confuzzled about ... And thanks, I'm definitely proceeding with caution
Sugarpony - your the bomb! Skittles rock Thanks for your advice matey!!
PS. Update - I'm going to the zoo with this guy on Saturday aww ...
Yeah, tis Erik that I'm all confuzzled about ... And thanks, I'm definitely proceeding with caution Sugarpony - your the bomb! Skittles rock
Thanks for your advice matey!!PS. Update - I'm going to the zoo with this guy on Saturday
aww ...
star_beats
Bluelighter
BopGirl said:PS. Update - I'm going to the zoo with this guy on Saturday
yay
good luck with it hun!