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Bluelight Singles - from begining to end! don't we love the merge feature!

I want to know why if its really true that men like women to be confident rather than shy in their approaches? I'm a very confident girl and not shy what so ever and i think i tend to be intimidating or something :p
 
Who says men like confident women approaching them??? We're saying men should be confident approaching women here.

I've seen confident women try and tempt me and frankly, it's a real turn off. All I ask for is a level playing field so I can approach when I'm ready. I'm not at all interested in having women make the first moves, but maybe that's just me.
 
I have heard many peopel say that they like women to be confident because thay are too shy themselves and/or can't read what they want ie if they are interested or not or worried about coming across as a sleaze or something...i'm not talking abouyt this thread in particular with the women being confidenet thing...sorry i brought up a new subject :\
 
candyflip said:
All I ask for is a level playing field so I can approach when I'm ready.
Click to expand...
A field where the woman will be seen to be coming on too strong if she approaches you first is not a level playing field.

This whole confidence/approaching people thing is just too variable. Some boys are shy and want women to approach them, some boys don't want the woman to come on too strong, some boys are scared off by confident women, some boys just sit back and wait for the women to come to them. How on earth are we supposed to know? There's no rules anymore, no set way of doing things. You just have to do what you think is the right thing at the time and if it works, great. If it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be.
 
Absolutely agree with all that. 'Level playing field' was a badly worded phrase. I mean both parties should come to the relationship about evenly placed I reckon. Then it just appears to be basic instinct that the guy makes a first move. And then sometimes he doesn't. And so we have the confusion.

But that's life in the dating game and if it was the same every time, it wouldn't be much fun would it? :D
 
well after a ten month absence here i am again. hopefully the feelings of loneliness will subside but i've got a bad feeling they're only going to get worse:(

happyhappyjoyjoy:) :\ deh

what a steep fuckoff learning curve.
 
Personally I don't think I could ever make the first move (hey I don't give a shit about women's lib). And besides, if the guy isn't confident enough to step forward himself then he probably wouldn't be the sort of person I'd like to date anyway.

1234: Use the typical uni approach. If you have an assessment or something coming up then see if you guys can pair up and go through it together at some point. If everyone is tired after the class then try and organise something for before next weeks class. (I just realised kitty had already said that!) Honestly, if she's interested, she'll say yes to whatever you suggest. :)

Also I was wondering, if you have a friend who is dating someone that treats them really badly, what would you do? Would you tell them what you think of their date and risk losing your friend or would you keep quiet and watch the person continue to hurt your friend?
 
Queen Beat said:
Also I was wondering, if you have a friend who is dating someone that treats them really badly, what would you do? Would you tell them what you think of their date and risk losing your friend or would you keep quiet and watch the person continue to hurt your friend?
Click to expand...

I would tell them, straight out. Frankly, you're not being much of a friend if you don't gently point out why you think they are making a mistake and give them good reasons behind your opinion. I've seen these things left for far too long and end up still no being resolved while everyone stands around the marriage altar!

As a Best Man, I would consider it my duty to inform the Groom of such problems. As a friend, it's the least you could do.
 
QB: I would tell her what i thought, but that it was merely my opinion and that she should do what FEELS RIGHT FOR HER.

I actually went through this last year, whereby my best friend was with a possessive sob who wouldn't let her have anyfriends apart from me and his set of friends... i basically told her what i thought she should do, but didn't tell her what to do.

I believe that people need to come to that decision for themselves - she keeps telling me that she wished that i had told her what to do, but my idea is that if she decided later on to get back with him or that things were going better, i didn't want that kind of memory hanging over my head...

It's a difficult situation, and i'm not saying that what i did was right, but it was right for me. It hurt me so much to watch her waste 8 months of her life with a guy who treated her like shit, but at the end it was the best thing i could have done... :\

what's the sitch. QU?
 
Queen Beat said:
Also I was wondering, if you have a friend who is dating someone that treats them really badly, what would you do? Would you tell them what you think of their date and risk losing your friend or would you keep quiet and watch the person continue to hurt your friend?
Click to expand...

personally id shut up about the whole thing. People arent stupid and they usually wont stand for being given alot of shit. If the person feels like they are being hard done by then they will let it be known to you. If this happens yeah then give your opinion because it is warranted but before then I say stay out of it, you dont know the circumstances why someone is acting a particular way at a particular point of time and if you jump the gun and start rubbishing your friends partner then your opinion will not be welcomed and you'll end up feeling uncomfortable when in a group. Yes some partners are arseholes but I say dont give your point of view unless it is required.
 
Queen Beat said:

Also I was wondering, if you have a friend who is dating someone that treats them really badly, what would you do? Would you tell them what you think of their date and risk losing your friend or would you keep quiet and watch the person continue to hurt your friend?
Click to expand...

Is that person important to you ? Would you want to be told ? I think that telling them is the right thing to do, sometimes love is blind, (as is can be lust) and that one of beautiful things about friends, is that they are there to open eyes when we sometimes dont realise they are closed. Although she may not appreciate it in the short term, the long term benefits far out weigh any short grievances she will hold against you.
 
QB: u should definately tell ur friend ur opinion, but dont push it. just think of it as if u were ur friend (role reversal thing :) ) and consider whether u would want to be told. obviously u would but there r certain lines.

i'm in a bit of a similar situation myelf...sorry if this is really off topic....but my best friend and flatmate is with a guy who doesnt deserve her. and he also lives with us. ive gone past telling her that hes no good cos she realises that, but she hates being alone and its really difficult cos i dont want to butt in so much as to be her counsellor or something. i dont know how to stress the fact that its not so bad being single at all.

i would kick him out of the house too (we've had some 'incidents' that deserve such drastic measures) but we need a third person to pay a share of the rent.
 
Well. Here I am, posting in the Single's thread for the first time seriously.

I broke up with my boy of a bit over a year. I'm not entirely emotionally distraught, pretty much cos it was my call. Still, I'm not looking forward to getting used to being alone again. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty damn independant and haven't ever been a 'relationship person'. This was my longest, so even though I'll enjoy my freedom again, it'll take a bit of getting used to methinks.

Still.. I'm in the mood to put it out there (heh did that sound slutty?). Even though I've never been a long-term relationship person, I've also never been one for really casual sex. Probably because I was never liberated enough I guess. So, even though I've always been the approachee rather than the approacher, now, I think it's time. *nod*

/me be on the prowl. LOL ;)

So we all know that there needs to be one signal that you send to kick off the whole flirtation process... what's yours?? I personally like holding the gaze for a bit longer than necessary, and if I'm drunk enough a little bit of hip wiggling and cleavage flashing comes in later ;) hehehee SO trashy.

Wheeee for Singledom!
 
I think my flirtation is something like this:

Girl looks at me
Girl points finger at me, mouths something while dancing
I look away

He shoots, he scores! :(
 
mona said:
Well. Here I am, posting in the Single's thread for the first time seriously.

I broke up with my boy of a bit over a year. I'm not entirely emotionally distraught, pretty much cos it was my call. Still, I'm not looking forward to getting used to being alone again. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty damn independant and haven't ever been a 'relationship person'. This was my longest, so even though I'll enjoy my freedom again, it'll take a bit of getting used to methinks.

Still.. I'm in the mood to put it out there (heh did that sound slutty?). Even though I've never been a long-term relationship person, I've also never been one for really casual sex. Probably because I was never liberated enough I guess. So, even though I've always been the approachee rather than the approacher, now, I think it's time. *nod*

/me be on the prowl. LOL ;)

So we all know that there needs to be one signal that you send to kick off the whole flirtation process... what's yours?? I personally like holding the gaze for a bit longer than necessary, and if I'm drunk enough a little bit of hip wiggling and cleavage flashing comes in later ;) hehehee SO trashy.

Wheeee for Singledom!
Click to expand...

Ok, everyone line up here....behind JohnBoy...

:D :D :D
 
*wiggles hips*

LOL

Cybertart #1 is back with avengeance. OK, better not get in trouble for flirting ;)
 
KRIKEY!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

This thread is fucking HUMONGOUS! Had no idea that the singles thread thing had gotten so out of hand lol

Yes, I'm still single. I'm not really looking for a relationship at all, happy with just messin around hehe.

I know, I'll probably die jaded and lonely, but I really don't give a shit.
 
Hahahaha ...oh dear...

I guess it doesn't really surprise me that this thread is so large, especially considering humanity's major driving force is sex, and the attempt to get some... Unfortunately if like me you want more than just sex, and the degree of 'more' which you want is quite large, getting any sex is increasingly difficult... Thankfully my major driving force isn't sex, otherwise I'd be doing rounds of the supermarkets just so I can rip off all those bottle labels...

Good to see that some small percentage of the posts in this thread are well thought out and not unnecessary... Too bad about the rest...

Dante: At least the girl looks and points at you... :\

mona: Shake it baby! :p
 
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