blogs/jounrals: now vs then

when i first joined this site and started actively participating i loved getting feedback from strangers. over time, many of these strangers have turned out to be real friends.

i used to write pretty much anything, now i censor myself knowing that certain people (like my fiancée) can easily read it. i miss the freedom of writing to strangers. but i can't fathom finding another community as special as bluelight to open up to.

and i am greatful for all the great people i have met from this site

 

You could always make a new name for yourself and post things or keep a journal. It is not the same thing but it does get the job done.

 

i'm not like you, i keep stuffs in one place

 

Well it is so true that nothing is erased in cyber space. It is all floating around in the ether. Things I do not even remember saying come back to me in amazing ways, usually my other in law (hahaha) who reads everything I write (or almost anyway).

 

Which is why I like posting and doing some things by stuff people do not associate with me. Sometimes it is nice being able to be an anonymous coward.

 

like on here?

 

My girlfriend literally knows every single thing about my life

everything except for bluelight

she knows the friends, flames, fears, and fantasies ive developed from this forum, but she just doesnt know the forum itself. ive always referred to it as "internet drug forums" without revealing the source. the reason why is exactly as in your post: i prefer to be uncensored, unfiltered, and to know no one from my immediate day to day life is connected to me on here.

itl probably happen someday. until then i choose my own freedom. this is "my" space for now.

i see bl as an anarchistic rebellion, a stream away from the main which allows people to commune in an unfiltered and uncensored way. it transcends drugs and drug culture, and shows the real nature of human beings without rules or fears of repercussion. even those whom arent my personal favorites have a lot more respect in my eyes from simply giving real contributions to this forum, as opposed to the random person out on the street. to this day i still find myself debunking CIA propaganda, street quality misinformation, and general urban legends revolving around drugs and drug culture, and almost immediately feel my mind paging back through drug discussions on bl and fighting "the drug war" with science and knowledge. this forum represents not merely some people on the other side of the fence in this "war," but those whom choose freedom of consciousness and dignity of the mind over the prison of conformity and the crutches of security.


its hard not to share this with your lover. but how free are ones thoughts if one is always thinking what someone else thinks of them?