Blog Theme: Friends

Neat how things work with this topic at this time.

I've been recognizing my lack of 'in real life friends'. Just don't have any. The only people I can call 'friends' are here on BL. Sad fact? I don't think so because these folks have HEART. They've ALWAYS been supportive, understanding and non-judgmental.

Check this though... I've been thinking of leaving BL. Sometimes I think it may be self-sabotage leaving a place that is so important and necessary to me. Sometimes I trick myself into thinking it is self-preservation. Shit, what if my BL friends stop liking and caring for me? I'll be FUCKED. Because of this, my fucked up rationale tells me 'leave them before they leave you'.

I could never become as good as these people. They are friends and they are real. I value them but I fear rejection so I withdrawal and run. That isn't how I typically do things so why now?

I have amazing friends. I've never met them but they are true and they are fucking AMAZING

 

Your always so honest about how you think/feel OD. I know I havn't been corresponding with you but it would be a pity to not see you here anymore.
You always seem to put yourself down alot, but you do talk alot of no-nonsense, sense and it really has a big impact, on me anyway!
There is alot of people on here, that I see who care about you... and you have been a huge comfort to me in the past, when I was in a bad state. It meant alot and Im grateful for that.
You seem to always think people are more 'good' than you but you seem to set really high moral standards for yourself that are seem very harsh? I know that in recovery you are frightened of letting go of the tight-discipline incase you fall, I just hope you remember to cut yourself some slack some because you need to be kind with your discipline, you need to reap the benefits of your hard inner work. You deserve that after all you've been through and come through.

 

You are good people OD, you just keep letting your past behaviour colour your present perception. Keep in mind too that the perception that we have of others online are heavily filtered; everyone is still human, still fucks up, and still hurt people occasionally. It's unavoidable at times, all we can do is be as good as we can.

For IRL friends, it seems like the critical thing is to do what you love, and to take advantage of opportunities to get to know people better when they arise. Let me present an example from my life:

A while ago I was taking my first Ashtanga yoga class, and while it was hard as hell I really enjoyed it. I had been around the studio for a couple of years, but the ashtanga group is pretty close, and they were really open. After the class, they invited me to come along to a group dinner, but as I was drenched with sweat and feeling self-conscious I declined. While they're continued being friendly to me, I never got a second invite. I don't necessarily regret my choice, but if I had gone to that dinner I probably would have had the chance to make a bit more of a connection with that group, which in time may have turned into actual friendships, rather than the current friendly acquaintance situation.

And you can leave BL if you like, I suppose. But you'd best not be leaving Blogs son, or I'll be tracking you down.

 

you're stuck with us, whether you're on bl or not