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Bleeker and Jones Street #4

blahblahblah

Bluelighter
Joined
May 12, 2001
Messages
5,529
Location
lost in the clouds
Slowly but surely insanity is blowing a gust in my direction...


Peddling down the drive watching the pavement crackle in on going patterns of some obscure mathmatical proof, I need rest, but I do need my exsercise, huff, huff...

In the door, I realize this pot is pretty good. Corupt the youth, is that smart or just a perfect fuck, anyways. Grapefruit slices and a Capri Sun are my choices as I play the hazy movie of this weekend over in my mind. It seems somehow I musta scratched the movie because some parts have just disappeared. I watch and smoke, the perfect pipe for this phase of the moon as it is no matter.

Slammin down the highway, running on eggs, toast, 2mg of Suboxone, and a few tokes of greenery just to make that drivers seat a lil' more comfortable. The girl to my right I can barely remember her name, no to say that would wrong at that moment I could remember her name. Its still early and we, them, us are worn out from the previous late night orgy. So my eyes are blurring on the edges, I need to stretch...

Oh whoops I just happen to have to stop right near an old haunt, shes sound asleep and suddenly I feel like a kid in a candy store. I jam my hand in my pocket and pull out a wad off cashish with in 3 minutes I have what I knew I could not pass up.

This girl likes to party and we decide to see where the city would bring us, first be had to recover. I power hit crack as my foot pushes the gas peddle harder and harder, oh yea push it baby push it....!

Beautiful skyline as usual, as I decide I dont want to listen to music this second. Instead I start to nervously look in the mirrors, and than srat thining about that Preying Mantis I caught in the yard the other day. I hate smoking anything let alone freebase when driving in the city, to much madness, insanity, and dumb people.

"whats-her-name" wakes up and smile instantly I remember why I am here, ugh. What was that 80's hair/rock band that sang that song "Girls Girls Girls". Oh yea...

"whatcha smokin?"
"uh rock" - holding back laughter as akward beat picks up
"packer up"
"excellent"

So we are tweaked she wants to sit at the beach and chill, I want to stop by a friends but that can wait, parking lot maze - Silver Pearl haze.

Out the door on to the street, pound the pavement, heartbeat quick. We take the occasional pulls of the few rocks I bought. Running into alleys smoking behind dumpsters, groping licking, sucking on brickwallls. Finally we finish one of the lamest drugs ever and I throw the stem away. We run to the end of the block. boom heartbeat.

We need to dull the edge, a quick procurement of a ale is needed. Nice outdoor bullshit bar. But I hate public while on coke, I wonder to my self what this girl thinks about me, than try to bring up a conversation. She starts talking about how she just moved up here, likes to have, blah blah blah. Drugs get discussed agreed she wants some xanax I only have valium, she'll have to settle for that will suit or need.

Lay on the sand, As she takes her clothes off in front of me I pull out a little cannister of sweet sensi, some of the best I have seen lately (as harvest season is coming up). Weed is a fun hobby, straight nuggets in the crease, fold, roll, lick. Damn man, her tits are just glowing from the orange sunlight. She wants to take a dip, I know better to swim in Lake Michigan so I say no, she shrugges and bends over and pulls her shorts down. In the water out the water the day goes on smoke the joint, smell the sweatness. Leave

Bathroom needed and appears, (do you care to hear more about perfect A++ young horny chicks that luv dick... naww) so we leave and head uptown to my friend to clean up and do whatever the night brings to us.

I sleep, she showers, friend comes home, hey, hi, how are you, yea, yeea. Rockin the catskills' Not this summer. Tired of fucking the needle its so unresponsive and controling, girls suck better, but the rush isnt a guarentee as with lady H. Babble.

I dont feel like typing about my weekend anymore as its boring and lame instead Ill make up some shit cause I have a few minutes to waste.

Brick paved streets curve thru the old town, the ivy growing wild but not nearly as wild as my brain. I get down at christmas time sing it.. I get down, I get down, I get down all the way. Wiping my fingers across my tired eyelids produce an orage imprint that reminds me of a pumkin oven mitt I saw the other day. A few months ago a huge statue of the Virgin Mary came thru down on some alleged tour of the country, huge 3-4 stories tall. I saw it on truckbeds, smoked pot on a yellow twisty slide in the park, said three mail marys and top that off with a Our Father rockin the statue that is filled with vibes.

I saw some TV show on TV the other day when I was watching TV, no mistake, MTV. huh, about people obbsessed with dogs and there was this chick that had a pink poodle she was a model, seemed slightly psycotic (sp?) but fucking hot and you could tell she was dwon for a p-arty. I luv those waify looking girls, anyways my minds in the gutter this evening as I type random thought and try and couagullate them into insanely choppy mental dialog. The point was that she wore this shirt (home-made) that said: ADDERALL ROCKS or something of the sorts, made me laugh. than I suddenly felt depressed for a split second that I wasnt rippin it in New Yark. 2 emotions quicker than a beesting, huh you probably are saying well dont fell bad I said it to.

Urban dialect real life graffiti spray painted over naked girls, exploiT. Its just a lazy evening as I plan out my night. Most likely, tv, rest and pizza. whew.

saw Jordan at a party the other week decked out, I hate that scene of crowd. round and round circle collide and you get dizzy and want to puke. Martini please... Oh he's in upstate NY... blah... point me toward the door I dont enjoy dull beings although the benzodiazapine content in that restaraut was hiGH. Kinda like a pie chart, fuck the high, do what you please, my eyes are tuning red.

Prep school hipster? Party kids high on acid? Degenerate puke? Upscale cokehead? Aged junky? Fat drunk? Skinny waifs;) , Slo Jams? Superfical Crap...

Can you get with it...? Do you understand the story I am telling you...?

The path leads deep into the dark woods, where will nature take you, afraid. Spiral into that pinecone, were alone in the forest, it smells good. We hold hands and enter. Corny as corn dogs, which I hate by the way. Indians probably danced here ages ago as we arch our relaxed sitting positions into a glowing pyramid (green tint of course) spin it. I am starting to think I might have picked up a hybrid. What happens if this chick was a robot under her skin. Like whoa, oh my god, like freaky dude your a robot. R2D2'ish I prefer her with skin, the natures delights pulse thru are veins as invisable UFO's circle our heads waiting, just waiting, patiently of course. I iz not down wit da devil, so we will change subject.

The wind is blowing and I am going to go smoke and disappear into the shadows of randomness, who knows maybe Ill pop-up on the cover of GQ tommorrow, Id keep it on the DL though. Operator Operator ride me to the store, i want some good times, ruby chandalers, co-ops, maids that are at least a 7, a copy of the new High Times (I am still waiting for a scratch and sniff page, if you are reading this put it in there damnit).

Anyways imma kick it like a DJ, rapper or MC or whatever there called. Couple of Pop-rap shout outs YO...

All the hospitol workers in the house...
Acid networks...
Girls...
Girls breasts glowing in evening sunlight...
blowjobs... (those 2 ^ kinda go hand-in hand, no pun intended)
relaxation...
Gorrilla growers that bring the lovely herb to the market...
Green condoms...
trust funds...
and not but least
GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS - sing loud and sing it proud... man jeez ha
 
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So when we left off last little Jimmy was desperately trying to pry open his parents liquor cabinet (more like pantry), he gave up long ago trying to pick the lock. He is just out for carnage now, the thick oak door is splintering as he shoves the screwdriver in and twists it... cracccck, pop, boom. He's in reachs straight for the Cutty Shark mainly to piss his father off because thats 'his' drink. Bomber of Cutty and out the door...

Jimmy is bored and doesnt feel like throwing a party, doesnt feel like doing shit, except for hanging solo. The sting of the scotch keys Jim up a notch, soon he is hearing music in his ears and starts to sing out-loud to pop songs that randomly float into his memory coded as colored music notes, Fantasia enters his mind. Another gulp, another minute.

Jimmy wants nothing more out of life than relaxation, no starched shirts, no $500 dress shoes, no nuttin. Oh sweet nothing... aint got nuttin at all...

Dangling his feet over the edge of the lakefront Jimmy takes one more stiff pull off the bottle before smashing it to pieces. Glass flies, children cry, and joggers look the other way.


There is a note on the granite counter...

"went out for the evening, here's some cash"

Thanks Jimmy thinks...

Oh Sweet nothing... pounds in Jimmys cranium.


Acrosss the city, where trouble rolls there is a girl sitting on her fire escape taking in the evening air. In the background a low rumble of some underground dirty rap thumps. She is twirling the new one-hitter Tony gave her as a present, her mind gets lost as she stares into the bubbles and colors that swirl like a snake. She makes a mental note that it reminds her of what it would look like to slide down a drain (on lsd?). Sirens are blazing, and the air is thick, and her phone is not ringing she packs it up again.


On the outskirts, River Forest. It looks reminecent of a Norman Rockwell picture, dull yellow glow from the street lights illuminate the concrete walkways. Franklin street sitting on the front porch swing, this neighboorhood has long been linked to the Mafia and Frank L. Wright. I bet somebody is buried under the street somewhere...


Blurs of red and blu is all that encompasses my view as I round the corner the few mushrooms I took are really bringing life to concrete, steel, and puke that binds this city. KGB's... KGB's.... huh?

A head pops out of the shadows standing in the entrance KGB's, Killer Green BUds... $20 grams. Shady pot dealers spreading some local harvest and reaping the dollars.

The cd is skipping on track 3, eck, eck, eck, Jimmy is passed out in his lazyboy needle still in his arm. The trail of blood is dried and cracking. The phone rings but nobody is home....
 
Its all in your mind...


Drift away thru the evening breeze
encoded

Christmas (sometime in the early 90's)

I of course did not plan my heroin consumption correctly and I have only enough to barely get my sick off. I dispise the family gatherings during this time of year, I have better things to be doing like sitting on the couch head tilted back staring at the ceiling.

My stomache is twisted as dinner is served and I eat only a few vegatables, I let the unknowing glances of my relatives bounce of my shoulder. As they drown them self in a bath of brown, clear, and red liquor they reminese and do what families do. There conversations are nothing to me, I want no part.

Staring at my nice silver soup spoon my mind starts to twist, and possesion increases. I have flashes of graffiti, brickwalls, foils, needles, shady dope pushers, crack ho's pulse through my head. I dont want this to be.

I can not belive I have a devil in my head, he's talking to me. Telling me how he wants it to be...

I got a pass to leave rehab for a 2-week holiday break (wtf were they thinking, probably about money). There abstence jargon has no effect on my brain at this point as its money down the drain.

Presents, drinks, laughter

I get cornered by an Uncle that knows the wrath of addiction and he asks to see my arms, I laugh. I just left rehab to get away from that this is a family event, please dont ask to see my arms...ok?

I runaway to the upstairs bathroom where I inject the only thing that brings me any joy or feeling. I collapse in relief as that ever so familar buzzz starts to flow into my veins. I lay on the bathroom floor and look at my watch.

Ramshackle dope run... I need another fix, my parents are wasted and I grab the keys to the caddy and say I am off to Midnight Mass. I have a few hundred dollars in my pocket as I rocket toward the city. Empty streets, the only glimmer of life comes from the metal halide streetlamp glittering off the dope dealers front tooth. Exchage dope in my hand, 36 bags of heroin (thanks for the x-mas cash antie J). Stash the stash, as the cherries light up behind me.

Motherfucker, cops... goddamn, act cool, you have your drugs stashed, you have an extra 20 dollar bill for times like this. The officer rips me out of the car.

"Wheres the dope?"
"I didnt buy any yet"
"bullshit I watched you"
"honest"

The typical bullshit ensues the cop has nothing on me, of course he could take me in for solicitation of drugs, put thats such a crap charge my lawyers will have that thrown out like the garbage it is. I beg that its Christmas I have to be with my family, blahblah, whatever. Sob story to the sorry cop stuck working the christmas eve beat. I let you off on one condition. Get on your knees and sing jingle bells to me, I proceed to kneel in ice water slush the color of grey freezing and shaking.

Get outta here punk...

Later officer, I am shaking with anticipation even the dope pushers have a little cheer this xmas as the bags are decorated with green and red bells. I lick the needle and jam it into my beat-up arms.

Clowns, Gigalos, Gold-diggers, stuck up sluts, headmasters, dont mean shit to me. I am lost, down river with no paddle, gone. Blissed out and feeling like a million bucks I crank the stereo full blast and hit cruize control.

Back at home I have 2 messages, I need junk, man help me please I am so sick. You gotta help man please.

the pleading of the dope sick, people will do anything for there fix. Jump thru hoops, your time is nearly done...

I tell one friend I will leave a bag in the mailbox for him come get it, I here his car quick. I tell Julie to come over I have plenty of dope and I am depressed (whats new).

Julie comes over sick and bitching about christmas, she has heroin in her veins with in minutes. Kicking back on the black leather sofa, she starts on a rant about her shitty presents, her shitty this her shitty that. Whatever. I stare at a spot on the ceiling and wish my life was different.

I wake up mid-afternoon only my presents are left under the tree, I throw a fit that nobody woke me up to unwrap the gifts. My mom informs me she tried for 2 hours to get me up. What ever, I am so wrapped up in myself I could give a shit less. I live for drugs. That christmas was spent in a flurry warm buzz.

Unfortunetly that christmas also took its toll on the lifes of 2 close friends. I go back to club rehab and fall deeper into insanity.
 
I get high...
I get low...


It started inncoently enough, I asked a neighboor if he could procure a baggie of maryjane for me...

blah im tired of writing...

Stay tuned for Drews foray into city grow-ops that are maintained by an insane Vietnam vet...One of the most off-the-wall craziest grow operations I have stumbbled into. Praise be to green. On your knees...

or maybee Ill write about... blades of grass that cut like a knife

or a foray into the network of acid distabution

or about a visit to the doctor

or skyscrapers and the dreams that get stacked 40 stories tall

or suburban SUV soccer moms that are secretly stealing there childs speed pills and having sex with guys half there age

Static in my mind, time to change the channel



*If anybody likes anything I write just say yup or something, personally I love reading drug porn and shit dealing with addiction. Anyways...
 
Lone me 20 bills...

Phillip is sick again, he has to wait untill 12:00am untill he can get anymore money out of his ATM. He thinks about his moms jewlery, eye'n a nice diamond ring he slips it into his pocket. At the cash-and-go he slides it under the bulletproof glass window to the overweight mexican working the counter. Who carefully eyes Phillip, knowing full well what the deal is, $250 is all I can give you, Bullshit thats a 5K ring at least, give me at least $500...? $350, Ok deal.

3 crisp hundred dollar bills and a fifty. That equals out to 5 dollars for gas, 5 for smokes, 30 for crack, 300 for heroin. Phil is feeling better by the minute, although the nagging thought about ripping his parents off haunts him for a brief second, soon to be masked by the haze of opiates.

At the spot he asks for what he wants, he has never had any problems here and doesnt expect any today. The runner tells him 2 minutes as he jogs down the block. Flipping the dial on the radio Phil passes the time. Without warning he feels the cold metal pressed to the back of his neck. Look straight ahead the kid says, hand the money over. Phil hesitates for a split second and the kid grabs the money of his lap and runs like a bat outta hell.

Motherfucking shit head bitch, Phil pleades with the runner who comes back with his dope. He tells him what happened as the dealers huddle by the car to get a description of the robber to beat the bitch down. Sypathetically they throw him a free bag and shrug.

Phillip injects the bag gets a rush than its gone, he is still sick, his habit is no little monkey on his back its a 300 lbs gorrilla and he is pissed. Do what ever you have to do to feed me the gorrilla repeats over and over. Shit outta luck, Phil is not sure what to do.

He thinks about shoplifting or staight or robbery and settles for the brillant idea of snatching a ladys purse. He arrives in a nicer area of town and scopes out a local bank, waiting, watching for his victum to fall into his sights.

Bingo... 30'something went to the ATM and withdrew cash and put it in her purse, Phil crosses the street and at this point just doesnt give a flying fuck. He weaves thru the crowd, right behind her and keeps a steady pace. Watching the cars on the street waiting for the time to commit the crime. The light turns green and the cars come flying by. He starts to sprint grabs the purse and leans into the lady with a hard elbow knocking her over and grabbing his score, jumps in front of the traffic and disapears.

In the car, change shirts, put on a baseball hat. Grabs the wallet, stops at a gas station fills up the tank. 50 bucks..??!! what the fuck. Oh well..

Back to the dope spot, 5 bags of heroin. He unloads the credit cards for and extra bag a piece so he walks out with 9 bags of heroin. Puts the car in drive and drives about a half block and pulls over. 4 bags into the spoon, the huge pile of powder and rocks are soaked with water and injected. All his problems disappear as he drives away, eyes half open.

Rounding the corner, he spits out the window and flicks some bitch off...

Fuckum...
 
a few comments

in regards to your first piece of writing...
insanely choppy mental dialog
yes! i'm not criticizing, it was just a bit hard to read/understand at times. reminded me a lot of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which, coincidentally, i am watching at the moment. a lot of what you write is about drugs... and when i read some new trip you've been on, i feel like i am stuck in that movie... wondering... how long will this go on? but your imagery is amazing... you put me right there in the moment, every time. sometimes its a little scary...

your 3rd piece made me really sad. i dont want to pry by asking if these tales are fiction or non-fiction? but they make me sad. there were times i thought i was addicted to this or to that, but i dont think i've ever really known addiction like you describe here.

your final piece reminds me of a bad time in my life. times when i needed a fix so bad that i would sneak $20 off my mom (or more) or my sister or borrow from the cheerleading fundraiser or sell my books back 3 months early or whatever it took.... its a time in my life i never forgave myself for, and things were as desperate and bleek as they were going to get. i shivered when i read this... because you are describing in full raging detail the DARK side of drugs... and after reading all this, i'm just mentally BEGGING to hear something from you that doesnt make me remember all this stuff... tell me more about the hippie girl from your trip to see the Dead and love and rainbow skies....

i have mixed emotions about all this stuff. but thumbs up for posting it. i'm sure a lot of other people can also relate.
 
it was just a bit hard to read/understand at times

As is my mind...


i feel like i am stuck in that movie... wondering... how long will this go on?

I to wonder that...


I write basically nonfiction, addiction and drugs are a big part in my writing as they have left quite an impact in my mind. Addiction is dark, pathetic, and real. It is possible that somebody will see this and steer clear of narcotic nuerosis.

tell me more about the hippie girl

lol
 
Very nice drug-saturated/fucked stream of consciousness writings, the hop skip jump pace you set is really quite exhilarating, and it doesn't get tedious to read, as the subject flies all over the place.

Nice stuff to write. Keep it up man, I'm impressed. :)

-plaz out-
 
Its usually about this time of year I go on my 'try to get clean' kick that has become all to familar. Geographical cures that only change my surroundings and my dope.

Rehabs
Street corners
Shelters
Hotels
Apartments
Home (?)

Spray my name in blood, I have tattoo'd many of park benches with my thoughts written in blood. Its a whole differnent world out there and its called... Desperation...


Waiting by the fruit stand anxiously, sweating profusely. What the fuck is taking so long, I need to be with my friend in the car for a trip to Conneticut in 15 minutes. I spot his SUV as it double parks on street. Its a typical Friday evening in NYC, everybody is out for theirs, and I am getting mine.

Tony is the name I know him by, which I am sure is not his real name. He said he just got out of the joint a few weeks ago and he is back doing what he does best (probably). About fucking time I think to myself...

He walks up ignoring me and starts looking at the fruit a basket of blackberries he picks up. 2 bundles right? Yea I reply. He sets the blackberries ontop of the dope and asks if I have change for a $5, I hand him 140$ and grab the bindles. He turns on his heels and hurries off to meet his next of many customers this lovely evening.

The Chinese looking worker at the fruit market eyes me knowingly as I pick my heroin up right in front of his face and smile. I am happy not a thing can bother me at the moment.

I can almost taste the heroin as my paces quickens desperately looking for anykind of washroom. Shoestores, Danish dessert stores, newsstands, no bathrooms, finally a overpacked Starbucks.

I make my way thru the swarms of people and get in the back by the washrooms and discover a line. I wait as I cant do nothing else. Finally I get in and start to rig up. Knock, Knock, Knock...

I'll be right out, its occupied I yell back as I sit on the toliet with my arm tied off poking in my arm trying to raise a vein. I am starting to get frusterated as the knocking continues. What the fuck, cant a kid get high in peace.

Just as I register and start to push the plunger down, the lock pops and I am confronted by a middle aged lady, her jaw drops as it hits her what exactly is going on. I quickly drop my tournaqet (sp?) on the floor and cap the needle and run out. Stunned eyes follow me to the street where I quickly blend into the hordes of people.

The evening sun is shining and I am in a good mood, I chuckle to myself and think that lady will have a good story to tell her friends at her next dinner party... (I wonder if she even used the washroom, as you know you can never be to safe when dealing with junkies, its not like I tainted the soap box by washing my needle out into it or anything)...?
 
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