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Bluelighter
A human pin cushion
voodoo prayers, grasping at straws (heat sealed at both ends)
The young blond face is swollen and her eyes droop half open, drool crusted to her face.
Johhny was a heroin and coke dealer I knew when living in New York, he stayed on the lower east side, near the corner of 1rst and Avenue A, the gateway to the decrepit. On the entrance to his 3rd floor apartment was a bronze plaque engraved with the words... 'Alan Ginsburg resided here from 1953-1960' (or some shit I cant remember the exact dates). Leaving me wondering what events have occurred in this buildings crumbling walls. I dream about finding a ampul of Checozovlokian lsd hidden behind a floor board just waiting for me to twist the glass top exposing the 50 yr old lsd. I digress as I ring the doorbell on a sunny Sunday morning at 6am. The curtains get pulled back as Sandy (jonnys partner in crime) spots me shuffling my feet back and forth, She yells down "Jonny is on a run to the Bronx he should be back shortly".
"Shortly", I say "whens that 10 minutes, 3 hours...?"
"An hour or so, you want to come in and wait...?"
"No I cant wait, you holding anything?"
"Nope nadda".
"Ok I am going down to needle park and try to score to get me right, I'll be back later to stock up".
I walk past the dented garbage cans and trash overflowing into the greasy streets. Nobody is out this early except the deranged. As I enter the park I walk past a few homeless people with there belongings packed tight into there shopping carts. Wearing mismatched shoes and drinking malt liquor smoking roll up cigarettes. I sit on a bench and light a smoke, the nicotine takes hold and flips my stomach causing me to puke all over which soon turns into a retching symphony of dry heaving. I hang my head between my knees and gasp for air. I think about drinking tall boys, 4th of July celebrations, old naked girlfriends, and carefree summer days of my youth. As I look up a scruffy older black man is standing in front of me smiling with a toothless grin.
"Whats up?" he says.
"Nothing I am sick, can you help I just need to get my sick off, I'll make it worth your while."
He produces a glassine wrap from his sock stamped "Aztec" I hand him 20 dollars and tell him to keep the change. I fix up right on the park bench using the sleeve of my sweater to tie my arm off.
The eerie sunday morning is erased from my memory as soon as the plunger hits the bottom of the needle. I felt the rush hit me harder and harder as I tilt my head backwards and my eyes flutter and roll back into me head. I see pigeons flying in the tree tops in a freeze frame motion reminiscent of a grainy film. Next time I open my eyes I am in the back of a Ambulance strapped down to the gurnee, wha... wha... what is going on my voice comes out harsh and gritty. You overdosed replies the short fat brunette EMT, I life my head up and have no strength to hold it up and it crashes back onto the gurnee. I hear voices and a brisk hustle in the ambulance, I close my eyes and wonder how close I am to a ampul of morphine and wish I could rob the ambulance.
Dusted the dirt of my clothes and walk out into the streets, I spit on the ground. I look around and realizing where I am I flag down a cabbie. Corner of Ave. A and Houston I tell him, can I get a smoke guy...?
I sit back as the buildings and pedestrians stream by the window in a blurred frame, I pay the foreigner and walk into the corner market and buy a chocolate milk and sit on the ground and curse my luck. Next to me is a payphone an old lady (haggard from years of emotional scars and dark drug abuse) much older than my mother uses the phone. I hear her calling her dealer for a meet, obviously it didnt go well and she slams down the phone on the hanger 3 or 4 times smashing and beating the shot out of it. Problems? I ask... Fucking bullshit she says, yup I hear ya.
She asks me what I am doing, waiting on a friend. Who? Jonny and Sandy. Oh those lowlifes, you best watch out because they are being watched. Oh I say, not giving a flying fuck. I explain what happened to me this morning and she opens her purse and produces a pill bottle here take 2 of these as she hands me 2 small pills of Dilaudid. Go get yourself well she says.
finish later./// unexpected visit..
voodoo prayers, grasping at straws (heat sealed at both ends)
The young blond face is swollen and her eyes droop half open, drool crusted to her face.
Johhny was a heroin and coke dealer I knew when living in New York, he stayed on the lower east side, near the corner of 1rst and Avenue A, the gateway to the decrepit. On the entrance to his 3rd floor apartment was a bronze plaque engraved with the words... 'Alan Ginsburg resided here from 1953-1960' (or some shit I cant remember the exact dates). Leaving me wondering what events have occurred in this buildings crumbling walls. I dream about finding a ampul of Checozovlokian lsd hidden behind a floor board just waiting for me to twist the glass top exposing the 50 yr old lsd. I digress as I ring the doorbell on a sunny Sunday morning at 6am. The curtains get pulled back as Sandy (jonnys partner in crime) spots me shuffling my feet back and forth, She yells down "Jonny is on a run to the Bronx he should be back shortly".
"Shortly", I say "whens that 10 minutes, 3 hours...?"
"An hour or so, you want to come in and wait...?"
"No I cant wait, you holding anything?"
"Nope nadda".
"Ok I am going down to needle park and try to score to get me right, I'll be back later to stock up".
I walk past the dented garbage cans and trash overflowing into the greasy streets. Nobody is out this early except the deranged. As I enter the park I walk past a few homeless people with there belongings packed tight into there shopping carts. Wearing mismatched shoes and drinking malt liquor smoking roll up cigarettes. I sit on a bench and light a smoke, the nicotine takes hold and flips my stomach causing me to puke all over which soon turns into a retching symphony of dry heaving. I hang my head between my knees and gasp for air. I think about drinking tall boys, 4th of July celebrations, old naked girlfriends, and carefree summer days of my youth. As I look up a scruffy older black man is standing in front of me smiling with a toothless grin.
"Whats up?" he says.
"Nothing I am sick, can you help I just need to get my sick off, I'll make it worth your while."
He produces a glassine wrap from his sock stamped "Aztec" I hand him 20 dollars and tell him to keep the change. I fix up right on the park bench using the sleeve of my sweater to tie my arm off.
The eerie sunday morning is erased from my memory as soon as the plunger hits the bottom of the needle. I felt the rush hit me harder and harder as I tilt my head backwards and my eyes flutter and roll back into me head. I see pigeons flying in the tree tops in a freeze frame motion reminiscent of a grainy film. Next time I open my eyes I am in the back of a Ambulance strapped down to the gurnee, wha... wha... what is going on my voice comes out harsh and gritty. You overdosed replies the short fat brunette EMT, I life my head up and have no strength to hold it up and it crashes back onto the gurnee. I hear voices and a brisk hustle in the ambulance, I close my eyes and wonder how close I am to a ampul of morphine and wish I could rob the ambulance.
Dusted the dirt of my clothes and walk out into the streets, I spit on the ground. I look around and realizing where I am I flag down a cabbie. Corner of Ave. A and Houston I tell him, can I get a smoke guy...?
I sit back as the buildings and pedestrians stream by the window in a blurred frame, I pay the foreigner and walk into the corner market and buy a chocolate milk and sit on the ground and curse my luck. Next to me is a payphone an old lady (haggard from years of emotional scars and dark drug abuse) much older than my mother uses the phone. I hear her calling her dealer for a meet, obviously it didnt go well and she slams down the phone on the hanger 3 or 4 times smashing and beating the shot out of it. Problems? I ask... Fucking bullshit she says, yup I hear ya.
She asks me what I am doing, waiting on a friend. Who? Jonny and Sandy. Oh those lowlifes, you best watch out because they are being watched. Oh I say, not giving a flying fuck. I explain what happened to me this morning and she opens her purse and produces a pill bottle here take 2 of these as she hands me 2 small pills of Dilaudid. Go get yourself well she says.
finish later./// unexpected visit..
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