blackout.

[not_broken_420]

This is inspired by Trainspotting (watched it last night and then thought of this poem, haha) and my own personal experiences. It kind of reminds me of something that would happen in that movie, like when he 'swims' in the toilet or goes into the floor. Let me know what ya think!

the mirror rises from the floor
dumping the needles, the powder, the reminders
hovering vertically in front of my face,
it forces me to see my reflection.

what do i see?
a dull expression upon a once lively face.
eyes not fully open. nothing is worthy of excitement,
not even this potential wakeup call.

i don't want to realize, don't want to change,
i just want to forget.

forget everything.

i have the opportunity to cease to remember.
the mirror begins to shudder violently, warning me.
instead of raising my hands in protection,
i spike the vein.
i register, blood rising, blood rising,
and listlessly watch my own dull face
smash into my own dull face.

black. out.

 

[New]

I can relate to that myself...watching yourself black out is never fun, even when that was partially your intention as you pointed out.

 

[not_broken_420]

The meaning (to me) of it was that the speaker was [unintentionally] overdosing and dying. Instead of saving themselves from the mirror, they shot up.

But I love different interpretations