Blacklisted - Meth/Heroin Users/Being Ostracized? Trend?

[ThatSpaceyKid]

I am literally in denial and anguish. As this is the 4th time now clarity has been found. In order to redeem myself I must flee. For me in my instance... It is like this family secret.... My family is very let's just say toxic. VERY toxic both sides of it... But I realized any time before I started doing meth and heroin that it was alright. It was chill. I was happy. I was confident. And... My family wanted me... Living in rural USA sucks. Because nothing is a secret due to the size....

Once I did heroin and meth shit got fucked up. I noticed my family began to exclude me. Guilt and shame me. Yell at me. Things got weird. They would literally and still do watch me like a hawk. Or they are always trying to catch me slipping or set me up to slip. I feel like a stranger... None of my family knows me any more. Nor do they try. Friends dont call or come by.... They all stay away for their protection. But.... Its like. .. Everyone knows (Maybe this is the drugs) or a result of probably a good 18 years or so of abuse..... And exposure to let's just say toxic assholes.... Raised by the wolves...... I dont get my mail at all. If I ever order food or packages it takes much longer than normal. It just seems like... I'm being watched.... By my fathers creepy friends.... My family is fucked up and let's just say because of many others in my family the locals know and judge... And assume.

But I guess it is the bottom of the barrel .. I just notice when im all methed out at work, the stores etc lol. .. That any one that I come close to looks st me and gives me dirty looks. They point laugh and whisper. They glare. I always like can hear sirens in the back ground...... But I have PTSD too from abuse......

But it is like my dad has a tab on me.. And a group of friends that sabotage and mind fuck me. Or gather information for my dad..... Who isnt average ...... Lol....He terrifies me.



Anyone else have a similar experience?

 

[G_Chem]

This is psychosis my friend. I don’t mean that in any bad way, it’s the known result of meth over time. Your family may know of your use and may be assholes but people laughing and whispering about you at the store is psychosis, and your dad very likely isn’t getting the town to follow you either..

Get some good sleep, some good eats, relax on the meth for a minute and I’m sure this will get a lot better.

-GC

 

[Jabberwocky]

My parents kicked me out as a teenager for drugs but later explained their actions as ‘loving me’ but ‘kicking out the drugs’ and they attributed all the reasons they did not want to live me me to how I was affected by / behaving on drugs (when I was new to them and unable to manage and compensate and evaluate my own on-Drug behaviour rationally).

later in life I came to believe them but I felt hated and unloved at the time - but I was an asshole then for sure. Treatment taught me that.

 

[Isnortice91]

You need to get out of dodge before you're mom and dad find you're stash or catch you using! Once that happens you're relationship will become awkward as fuck.

Ya my family disowned me once I started smoking weed but funny thing is my little brother smokes weed and they don't do anything it's like they can care less but when I was 18 and started smoking pot my dad said you're going to be homeless. LMAO fast forward to today all my family is smoking pot so why the fuck did they punish me?. LoL
What a fuckin world this is. Also I had to move out at age 21 my brother is 21 and still gets to stay with my dad. But I'm glad he's living with my dad because I don't want my little brother to go through a homeless phase like I went through. I pray to God my dad takes care of my little brother because he is and always will be my baby brother and I love him. But yeah I see where you coming from. You're family constantly spying on you.
Luckily I started my meth habit when I moved out . So no one in my family knows I do meth. My best advise is try moving out. And you will feel more free . If you don't have the money to move out you can simply do what I did and collect SSI with a disability and get low income housing through the government. But you can longer do drugs inside you would have to do them in you're car like me. Luckily I was forced onto SSI and low income housing because my mental illness . They diagnosed me with Schizo-effective disorder which is fucked up because I don't feel schizophrenic but my doctor told me it doesn't matter what I feel .
Lol my life is now controlled by mental health system. Meth is my bitch not the other way around.