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BL/TDS Self-Harm Support: Thread 4

It really depends on how deep/large the scar is man. If they are just thin white scars, they will eventually fade away (like, over a period of 5-10 years). If they are larger or keloid scars they are not likely to completely fade on their own, ever.

Bio-Oil really does work, I've used it quite a bit on the keloid scars on my legs (as previously mentioned). Mate I honestly have no idea what would be a good vegan alternative. Perhaps ask at your local healthfood/supplement store, at a drug store, or even your doctor should have some suggestions?
 
I wish i could post a picture of my scars so somebody can tell me whether or not it can be tattoo'd over... If anyone with experience getting tattoo's over scars is interested in telling me let me know and i'll pm you a pic.
 
^^ Mate, your best bet is to go to see an actual tattooist and talk to them about it. Photos can be misleading, and it's better to speak to an actual professional who knows what they're talking about. When they see the scars in-person they can have a feel of them as well as just look, because the skin also has to be soft/supple enough, not just visually-faded.
Good luck! :)
 
I started cutting myself for the first time this week....I'm not sure exactly why. A mixture of my usual laundry list of psychological issues, stress from college, and some problems in my personal life have led me start using a lot of opiates and alcohol again, and I've also started cutting as a form of release. But now I'm worried that my friends are gonna notice the marks, and the last thing I want is for them to be worried about me.....
 
Hi sarcophagus.heels, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a particularly rough time at the moment.

Do you cut when you're high/drunk? Or when you're sober? Or both?
Hopefully seeing as this is a new habit you've fallen in to, it will be easier to stop.

When we cut/burn/injure ourselves, our brain releases a surge of endorphins. Just in case you've not heard that term before (which I'm sure you have, but just in case...), endorphins are neurochemicals in our brain which have a similar effect as opiates, and are released during/after intense pain, strenuous exercise, extreme stimulation (i.e. the "adrenaline rush") and after orgasm. Over time we can actually become addicted to the endorphin release via any one of those stimulating activities. Self-harm addiction can not only be very destructive but also it can be very difficult to break, so it's important for you to recognise this now and to find an alternative way to get relief from the stress you feel.

Personally, I have found that exercise is the most effective way of not only getting the endorphin "high", but it's actually been scientifically shown that regular exercise acts as a mood stabiliser, kind of like a natural anti-depressant. So it can help you to not feel as depressed in the first place.

In the short-term however, if you are looking for ways to get that feeling of "release" but you don't want the long-lasting and obvious scars/marks, you can do such non-invasive things as placing a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it on to your skin. Or get an ice cube and crush it in your hand for as long as you can handle. These simple acts will produce the same endorphin release as cutting does, but without any scars.

Long-term, and I'm sure you realise this already, you need to find more effective ways of dealing with your stress so that you release the pressure gradually, rather than letting it bottle up until you reach boiling point and do something destructive to yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but perhaps you could do something like yoga or meditation, or start getting some counselling just to chat about things and get stuff off your mind on a regular basis (your college will have a free counselling service), or as I mentioned earlier exercise is a great stress-reliever.

What do you think hun? Please take care of yourself, you are a beautiful person who deserves to love herself <3
 
I've been cutting when I'm high or drunk....I'm generally a pretty impulsive person, but it gets much worse when I'm not sober. I was initially hoping that the cutting was a one-time, impulsive whim, but it's starting to become a habit, so it's obviously a bit more than that.

I've been to the counseling service at the university before, and realized that I find it pretty impossible to open up to them. I found myself lying to them constantly, which is obviously no way to get anything done. I was recommended for SSRI's, but I've been kind of afraid to pursue that....antidepressants are serious business, but I guess they might be able to do me some good, so it's something to consider.

Thank you for the advice and the kind words - it's wonderful to be able to talk about this, even if it's just on Bluelight >.>
 
sarcophagus.heels said:
I've been cutting when I'm high or drunk...
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I can really relate to this hun. The last cutting binge I had (2.5 years ago) I was completely drunk out of my mind each time I was cutting. Self-harm when you're on depressant drugs of any kind of the absolute WORST thing to be doing, because not only are your inhibitions totally gone, but you feel less pain and you have less visual feedback as to the extent of the damage you're doing. It's just a really really bad situation.

Please try your hardest to RESIST the urges to cut when you're drunk or high. Just get it out of your mind. The regret that you feel afterwards will make you feel even worse in the morning, which will perpetuate the cycle. If you feel the need to harm yourself, please just distract yourself with whatever you can, until the urges subside. And they WILL subside, you just need to ride it out.
 
why is cutting the only way i can stop myself from crying?

my girlfriend is toying with me and over the past two years i've became so dependent on her, and lost all my friends. i'm lonely and miserable and have nobody to go to for support. so i cut myself (knowing our relationship is finally coming to an end) and i stop crying... yet even though i've made 6 deep cuts i just keep doing it. over and over. i cant stop.
 
Stay.Blazed you really need to find something to distract you to break the cycle of cutting. You need to believe that it is NOT the only way that you can stop crying. Please get out of the house and go for a jog or for a walk in a park near your house. If it's too late to go outside, please go to bed and try to get some sleep. You CAN STOP cutting if you put your mind to it, and distract yourself from doing it again.
 
nope.. i lost count how many cuts ive made now.. i think im beginning to cut squares of skin out.. i called in sick on my 6th day of work cuz im too stressed.. i doubt that'll go over well...

i'm considering moving across the country. my last try at being happy
 
^why should this be the case? i like to think that happiness and health are never outside the realm of possibility, so long as we want them and are willing to do what it takes to get them.

i'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now. n3o is totally right about the dangers of cutting while under the influence of alcohol. you can do so much damage so quickly and still not feel that it is "enough." scary stuff. i second the notion that exercise helps. not just with regulating mood and increasing confidence, but heck, if you get off on pain you might find that pushing yourself really hard at some kind of aerobic exercise will scratch that same itch. be careful, though. too much of a good thing and all that.

stay strong. <3
 
^I second that cutting while drunk can lead to cutting deeper than you intended....the one cut I have that absolutely had to have stitches to make it look normal and not heal deformed was done while I was drunk. It was an "oops" situation. Sure, most of my cuts should've had stitches, but this one was without a question. It had to be stitched.
 
i went to the bar tonight, i havent really socially interacted with anyone in weeks til tonight except for at work and seeing people, the normal jealous rage overtakes me and i'm not worth a shit, i wanted to punish my body for being fucked up and i did. i haven't gone to the er yet. it could use stitches, but idk

do they piss test people when they get stitches for self inflicted wounds? i can refuse that right, since i'm an adult?
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
do they piss test people when they get stitches for self inflicted wounds?
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No they don't. If it needs stitches you should just get it looked at man, seriously.

I wish that you wouldn't punish yourself, there is no reason for you to do that. I wish that you could believe that too <3
 
ok, if they won't piss test me (i was slightly drunk) then I'll go. I wrapped the wound with a sock to stop the bleeding, i'm driving myself to ER. Its been awhile, i dont remember how they treat people with self inflicted wounds, i'll report back.

Edit: I got here, the triage nurse was especially nice but as soon as I gt to the room I hear the nurses taking about all the "suicidal" patients in tonight, and the doc treats yu like a monster, and they said they gotta send a counselor to talk to me although I said I'm not suicidal. Apparently they also dtug test and breathalyze psych patients now whihc is bullshit. Oh well.
 
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zombiesarepeaceful said:
Apparently they also dtug test and breathalyze psych patients now whihc is bullshit.
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Do you know this for sure?

Plus, if you were only slightly drunk, by the time they breathalyse you the alcohol will have worn off. Don't worry about it. You've done the right thing going to get it looked at <3
 
They did a fucking blood test for alcohol. I don't turn 21 til 2 months frm now. What will they do to me. I'm scared now. Still waiting to get fucking stitches.

EDIT: after waiting 4 hrs, the doc finally strolls in and asks if I'm ready to have my leg fixed. Well yeah, I think I'm fucking ready now. He asked me why I did it, etc, some counselor came in to question me too. I told them my roommate's friend was over (truth) and said something that pissed me off (truth) and that I did it out of blind anger towards myself cause what they said had upset me (truth). I left out the part about drinking, obviously. They did both a blood and piss test and didn't say shit to me about being drunk or high so I guess I passed. I was all worried about them using a positive blood alcohol test to incriminate me or some shit cause I don't turn 21 for another 2 months. They stapled me up and I finally left...doc gave me hydroxyzine for "anxiety attacks" which he seems to think I had, which caused the outburst of cutting. I think he's full of shit.

.now I have to make sure myself and my roommate get up for work at 3, I haven't slept for over 24 hrs....it's too late to sleep, if I fall asleep now chances are I won't hear alarms and I can't risk missing work. So this shall be a fun day at work, heh....
 
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