BL Friends

So I keep walking. Sometimes confident, sometimes quite uncertain but I need to continue on no matter what.

I walk with many. Some were right next to me but somehow I can no longer see them on this path. Are they still on it? Some are but many chose the comfort of familiar terrain. Terrain that has many more stones and barbed branches that rip and tear.

As I walk I trip and stumble often but I have yet to fall. As I mentioned, I walk with many. As I start to slip, I am prevented from falling by my companions.

There are those who don't walk the same path as me but encourage and support me in my decision to keep on keeping on. I cry out often and those far from my particular path hear me. They shout that I MUST go on. They plead to me and remind me that I am doing well and I am doing what is necessary. They tell me that they are proud of me and I believe them.

I have never met many of these but I value them greatly. They sense my struggles and offer me their strength. They believe in me when I don't believe in myself.

These people who aren't on this path I walk support me more than those that walk with me.

I can now swagger a little, confident that I am loved. Voices from far away have helped me more than the the whispered slogans that are right next to my ear.

 

Sometimes, all you can do, is strut.

/cue Bee Gees

 

The friends I've made on BL are probably the only true friends I have. The people I hang out with in real life are little more than aquaintances, who I don't feel particularly close to, or able to seek much support from. Except my girlfriend - but she's a Bluelighter too!

 

You are a good guy OD
I hope one day the 3 of us will meet.

 

^ Oh yeah, a BL meetup would be so cool!

 

For some reason I can see this as not being unlikely. You have ties in CO and I have a house out there that I intend on returning to as soon as I start getting more stability in my insides and on the outside.

I've actually been applying for jobs in both the Denver area as well as here in Philly. Whichever state hires me will be where I live in the immediate future. You and PIP would be more than welcome to crash there (you can hear coyotes howling at night!)

Sweet P and DW NEED to get their asses to the states some day soon.

 

^ DW might have trouble gaining entry to the States.

I should be able to though... I've been extremely lucky not to get into trouble with the law for drugs, considering how heavily I was into them. It's just the 20 hour flight that I'd find difficult!

 

Ha! I was just watching a Lewis Black comedy special and he was talking about the flight to NZ. Pretty funny dude

 

yea id hav to hav a fake passport to get to the states

theyre pretty tough on ppl whove bn busted even for cannabis possession
ive had cannabis posssession, methamphetamine possession (twice), possession of paraphernalia (class A and C) and possession of stolen property

pity - id love to see america
esp places like the rocky mountains, the nevada desert, the thoroughbred farms of kentucky and the beaches of california and florida
like NZ, its a country of many contrasts i guess
but wats done is done

OD - unfortunately, im one of those who USED to walk the path u walk on, but hav stumbled and gone back to familiar territory
however i completely admire and support u in wat u r doing
if u were a mate IRL, i wud never pull out a pipe or needle round u....not even a drink cos i know ur aiming for abstinence
im that kinda person i guess (im not one to try and sabotage other ppls sobriety cos ive bn sober and i know how proud u feel but wat a hard road it is to b on if someone uses round u)

i luv the way u worded that entry - its almost poetic; very very well-written!

 

OD- Honestly- I dread another trip to Colorado....but if I were to go, I would def. crash at your place! Otherwise I'd be staying at my fathers hotel and I'd rather not and Pip has already said we are not doing that again
You should come to Washington Apply in Washington!!!!
Its beautiful!