infantannihilator
Bluelighter
basically been in a depressive hole for the last month, until this week.. I worked a good 50 hours, couldnt sleep friday night and worked all day sat.
Ive come to learn from my therapist that im currently (or was) in a hypomanic bipolar 2 state.. week was amazing. its like a veil of darkness lifted,; i was able to work, i feel the warmth and glow of people in contrst to just wanting to hide from the stares. i don't mind geting up. i wake up full of energy. friday morning i did the dishes as my coffee and breakfast brewed. i cannot stress how different and drastic a change in mental frame this is. I'm still riding those coat tails since I have the effort upon me to even write and post this.\
Ive been qddicted to iv coke for a year now.. since august ive managed to keep it to 1 "use" aka binge a month..
I got home today, 40~ hours awake, got some rye whiskey and food.. started tasting the coke.. i cant describe it.. its like tasting whats in your veins.. i callee my guy. shot up 1.5g's.. its never enough. arterey scare. little bruises on the arm. jaw that hurts from clenching. bit lips. lyckily ni seizure this time.
finishes my booze, now making the food.
trying to hang onto this "better"state.
probably wake up tomorrow in another hole.
bleh
Ive come to learn from my therapist that im currently (or was) in a hypomanic bipolar 2 state.. week was amazing. its like a veil of darkness lifted,; i was able to work, i feel the warmth and glow of people in contrst to just wanting to hide from the stares. i don't mind geting up. i wake up full of energy. friday morning i did the dishes as my coffee and breakfast brewed. i cannot stress how different and drastic a change in mental frame this is. I'm still riding those coat tails since I have the effort upon me to even write and post this.\
Ive been qddicted to iv coke for a year now.. since august ive managed to keep it to 1 "use" aka binge a month..
I got home today, 40~ hours awake, got some rye whiskey and food.. started tasting the coke.. i cant describe it.. its like tasting whats in your veins.. i callee my guy. shot up 1.5g's.. its never enough. arterey scare. little bruises on the arm. jaw that hurts from clenching. bit lips. lyckily ni seizure this time.
finishes my booze, now making the food.
trying to hang onto this "better"state.
probably wake up tomorrow in another hole.
bleh
