BitterSweet

[KalypsoKali]

First off...I'm posting this here cuz I wrote this after the first time I rolled. Wrote it becuz of all the stuff that happened like the day after that roll.
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Vacant and Staring
Once sought hope and caring
Filled with a void so blank
Filled with darkness, smothering and dank
Finally opened up a bit
The candle of hope was lit
Only to be snuffed so fast
Like so many times from the past
The lesson learned once more
Never fails to strike my core
This is the last time...or so I say
For everytime it's the same price I pay
Shattered trust
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Gone faster than before
Leaving my heart aching and sore
Debri littered here and there
Leaving my soul empty and bare
Walls to put back in place
A mask to cover my face
Time to lock myself away
Away from the light of day
Hidden from the hurt and pain
Holding on tight, trying to stay sane
A dull ache fills my mind
Looking for a peace I can't find
Just inches away from my hand
Sinking in the endless sand
The happiness I so seek
I caught a glimpse, caught a peak
The love I so need
Off of which I must feed
Out of reach, away from me
A hopeless dream I'll only see
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*Kali*
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Trust is something that takes forever to earn...but can be broken in seconds....
[This message has been edited by KalypsoKali (edited 04 January 2001).]

 

[honEbee]

Kali,
You have a great way with words. Sounds like you are going through a tough time

Its really tough when you see how things could be but just cant quite get there.
I hope things get better for you.

 

[*SWeeT-e*]

Wow...that was a beautiful poem...it really touched me.
Please don't shut yourself away.

I once was capable of loving someone so deeply...and because of the pain that I went thru, time and time again with different people since then, I did exactly that, shut myself away. It's a great place to be, for awhile, because nothing affects you, you feel so strong...but eventually all you feel is emptiness and loneliness. And it takes more strength TO love than NOT to love, IMHO. I'm taking a chance right now to let myself try and love someone again, and it's funny how I feel like so much less of a person than I used to be, like I somehow lost my heart and soul along the way, yet still kept on living, even tho I feel so dead. I hope my heart will be capable of love again, someday, because at least loving someone lets you feel alive. Just my stoned ramblings hun.

~kimmy.
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~*~I hope you take a piece of me with you...~*~