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BF Keeps Score of Everything He does For Me

fleea said:
You can't change people so decide if you love him enough to live with what you see as his negatives. Stop pick pick picking at him or he will stop loving and start hating.

required basic training? ffs...I would be gone already
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I totally agree with fleea, you shouldn't have to change a person to have a relationship work you should be happy with the way his, if not than its not ment to be.
 
RobotRipping said:
i like a balance, i'll do the things she doesn't like to do, she does things i don't like to do. This works fine for me, even if i'm hanging laundry once a week or whatever. As long as i'm not washing the laundry.
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Balance - yes!!! Very important!!!
My boyfriend and I both have things that we don't like doing. We have split things up so that we both do the "lesser of two evils" and it works out. We both hate cleaning (who doesn't, lol) but he is much better at it and much more efficient. I obviously do basic cleaning and tidying and stuff but he does most of the other stuff (washing floors, sweeping, etc.). He hates grocery shopping. I don't mind it quite as much, and it's easy for me to stop by stores on the way home from work, so I do most of that. It's not about keeping count. But if you notice that one person is doing ALL the work (without keeping count) then there is something wrong. And when people really start to count - again, something wrong.

I do recall there being some other posts about problems with this guy. It seems like things aren't really going smoothly with him and they haven't been for a while. Why are you still with him? When you're with someone, you should be happy most of the time. There will probably always be little arguments and stuff, but it shouldn't be often. Do you feel like you owe him anything? Just wondering if maybe there is another reason you're still with him?
 
Sounds like an absolute dick who was a spoiled child who never grew out of that phase

Dump his ass ASAP, clearly takes you for granted and expects you to be his mommy

I mean not only is he difficult about doing very, very basic things in the first place, he keeps track!? Sounds like something I would do when I was 6 when I thought my parents were being "unfair"
 
kind of agree with redrum og there, i've seen quite a few man children like this.

@llama12: that's exactly how my relationship works, i do things she doesn't like, she does the things i don't like. I hate grocery shopping, using the phone and doing administrative things and she enjoys that shit. She hates hanging laundry, making beds and cleaning the house (which i am quite efficient at doing). We trade on cleaning the toilet and i take care of all the entertainment and drugs. I think it's a fair trade off and she doesn't complain about it.

@rangrz: i don't know how you can stand that but whatever works for you two lol. I get very irritated if my gf constantly texts me or calls me more than once in the day. I also don't really like to be touched (other than sexually) so i come off as a cold person but it just makes my skin feel funny and makes me anxious, so a clingy girl that always is attached to me would drive me fucking insane.
 
My lovely is out food shopping. I would go with her but she reads the tins and packets every week every item, drives me up it so she prefers to go alone hehe
 
RobotRipping said:
@rangrz: i don't know how you can stand that but whatever works for you two lol. I get very irritated if my gf constantly texts me or calls me more than once in the day. I also don't really like to be touched (other than sexually) so i come off as a cold person but it just makes my skin feel funny and makes me anxious, so a clingy girl that always is attached to me would drive me fucking insane.
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I don't know how you can stand that, or how you can dislike affection...
 
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I lived alone for a five and a half years and it was nice that the only bullshit I had to deal with was my own. As I have gotten older I have gotten way more OCD. If I lived with the me from 10 years ago now, I would be flipping my shit! I would leave the dishes in the sink for weeks, do my laundry once a month (more difficult to be motivated when you have to use coin laundry) but I still was relatively tidy otherwise. He has no sense of aesthetics which is another irksome thing, but I guess everyone sees the world very differently, and things like clothes and dirty dishes all over the house, receipts and various other things out of his pockets on MY dresser, not hanging up the towels, not wiping up the counters after making food, etc. are not even something that he notices. It was worse when his 20 year old son came to visit a few months ago, because he is EXACTLY like his dad, and I was constantly having to clean up after two mega-slobs.

There are many benefits to this relationship; just posted this as more of a rant. We have both been pretty sick the past few weeks, which definitely affects our moods and psyches.

Still think he is a man-baby, but I think there is little chance of him growing up as he is 47 years old.
 
Hmm, I know 47 is older than 25, but I gotta say, I've grown up a lot since being in my current relationship. (also, 'matured' in ways not usually considered growing up.) I'm still a man child, but at least I'm like an elementary school kid and not a man toddler.

Maybe you can work similar magic with sufficient amounts of effort.
 
^

Lol, well, I do what I described, but for a different reason. Usually, it just makes me feel better about myself when my S/O does stuff for me, to think about the stuff I do for her and look at it as balancing an equation, so to speak. Esp if it's stuff that I feel self-conscious about/think I should always be able to handle on my own/do for her. I know it's irrational to think I should I should never need help with something or handle everything on my own, but it's just sort of ingrained in my from upbringing (i.e. I kind of grew up in the ghetto) and from being in the forces. The latter one both on the generic grounds of always being ready to have it and the specific grounds of I view her as the leader/dominant partner in the relationship and like you don't ask your superior to do your own tasks for you.

So, it's really just for me a way to resolve cognitive dissonance, but I don't think munki's BF is doing that, or if he is, he is doing it entirely the wrong way by guilt tripping her.
 
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