He was JUST here. My best friend. The dude who was always happy to see me. The dude who never judged me. He was always so laid back and happy and had a 'roll-with-it' attitude. I loved watching him laugh, play and smile.
He died at peace, I think. He was acting funny that night. He was walking with his back arched and was having difficulty laying or sitting down. I thought it was just his feet and legs acting up again.
Eventually, he lay down on the floor with a thud (his joints are painful despite the pills I give him). I lay down beside him, petting and kissing him on his head. He was panting but it was hot despite the AC.
I called an emergency vet to see if they could give me some input but they couldn't diagnose over the phone. Understandable but I didn't have the money to bring him in. I would have had the loot but I had previously made the selfish decision to start getting high again. Getting high required every penny I had and there was nothing left from my last run.
He seemed fine. Uncomfortable but he didn't appear to be DYING.
It was around 9PM and kissed him on the head and performed the standard verbal ritual, 'You ready to go sleepies, baby? its bedtime for Shaman and daddy, ready for bed?'
I went to bed and woke up at 12:04 am. I went to check on my boy and something wasn't right. He was in the same position I left him, he wasn't moving/breathing, his stomach was distended and he was stiff.
I miss you my friend. YOU WERE JUST HERE. I can't stop crying and I can't imagine what life will be like now. YOU WERE IMPORTANT TO ME. You kept me alive. You put a REAL smile on my face, often.
I'd like to say that I'll be with you shortly but that isn't for me to decide. We'll see. You were my buffer to making stupid decisions. I would always think, 'if this kills me, what about Shaman?'. I have no reason not to be careless now. I have no reason to give a fuck.
More evidence of selfishness revealed.
I miss you Shaman. I was a lucky dude to have you in my life and to develop the bond that we had.
This is going to be tough for a while.
bestest friends
He died at peace, I think. He was acting funny that night. He was walking with his back arched and was having difficulty laying or sitting down. I thought it was just his feet and legs acting up again.
Eventually, he lay down on the floor with a thud (his joints are painful despite the pills I give him). I lay down beside him, petting and kissing him on his head. He was panting but it was hot despite the AC.
I called an emergency vet to see if they could give me some input but they couldn't diagnose over the phone. Understandable but I didn't have the money to bring him in. I would have had the loot but I had previously made the selfish decision to start getting high again. Getting high required every penny I had and there was nothing left from my last run.
He seemed fine. Uncomfortable but he didn't appear to be DYING.
It was around 9PM and kissed him on the head and performed the standard verbal ritual, 'You ready to go sleepies, baby? its bedtime for Shaman and daddy, ready for bed?'
I went to bed and woke up at 12:04 am. I went to check on my boy and something wasn't right. He was in the same position I left him, he wasn't moving/breathing, his stomach was distended and he was stiff.
I miss you my friend. YOU WERE JUST HERE. I can't stop crying and I can't imagine what life will be like now. YOU WERE IMPORTANT TO ME. You kept me alive. You put a REAL smile on my face, often.
I'd like to say that I'll be with you shortly but that isn't for me to decide. We'll see. You were my buffer to making stupid decisions. I would always think, 'if this kills me, what about Shaman?'. I have no reason not to be careless now. I have no reason to give a fuck.
More evidence of selfishness revealed.
I miss you Shaman. I was a lucky dude to have you in my life and to develop the bond that we had.
This is going to be tough for a while.
bestest friends
This brought tears to my eyes. Shaman was so lucky to have you as his human. At least he didn't seem to suffer. 
