Detox Benzos: That time has arrived

[n3ophy7e]

Holy shit, this past weekend was insane. I drank over 100 ounces of hard alcohol. Mostly whisky, but some vodka and rum was mixed in too. I don't remember very much.

Lost and found my cell phone multiple times. Did a faceplant out of a camper truck straight onto concrete. 2 people fucking right beside me as I was passed out. They finished and tried waking me up multiple different times but I wouldn't respond even though they were basically slapping me.

Went to detox this morning but left after 5 hours. Will attempt to tough it out again within 72 hours.

Basically a 2 day blackout, woke up with a random black eye, clean shaved baby face, cuts, and other random injuries.

Yikes Sorry to hear that man. Are you okay today??? What's your plan?

 

[4meSM]

You really need to stabilize on a comfortable dose of diazepam and then start a slow taper. I understand that you're in a pretty complicated situation (even more with the heavy drinking), but you're really playing with your life here...
Atlernatively, you could do the same with a long-lasting RC benzo via volumetric dosing (there's absolutely no need for a 1000$ scale).
Rehab/detox does seem like the best option though, hope you manage to give it another (serious) chance.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I'm alright, didn't drink too much last night or forget to take my meds. My plan is to get back to detox and stay there for more than 1 nights. But have to wait 72 hours.

Main reason I left was because the nurse who deals with meds wasn't there and psychiatrist only faxed over 20mg diazepam daily?! Last time it was started at 80-100mg over 24 hours. I can't believe they only have 1 nurse with that job.

So all I got was 2mg Ativan 5mg Valium plus 1mg Haldol. Which did almost nothing. I'm sick of these fucking tremors.

Little shakey right now but overall could be worse. Lost 1.5 pack my cigarettes so little mad about that.

Shit, yeah man that would NOT have been enough. You were right to leave.
But I think it is really important that you give it another try when the 72 hours is up. Good on you man Are you gonna take it easy leading up to then??

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Forgot to mention, I bought some Etizolam *NOPE, there are rules, no sourcing.* the package had a gorilla on the his arms extending out, they were orange, I had to take the whole ten pills to feel a slight calming effect,

Anyone ever bought these? I don't think they're legit, or very low potency.

 

[blxnc]

I've cold turkey quit benzos before, however, everyone's experience with benzo withdrawal is completely unique. For some it is quite dangerous and should be done under medical supervision.

My experience with benzo withdrawal was three weeks of absolute hell. I couldn't eat, I was shaking, felt pretty ill, and in constant pain. The mental torture, it also took me to very dark places into a depression so deep it was sort of terrifying. I just laid in bed for three weeks sleeping basically. At one point I was losing my mind and just screaming, I don't really know why, it's hard to remember. But I was sort of just, out of my mind. To say the least. Each day, it gets worse than the last. Just when you think it couldn't possibly get any worse, it does. And it continues like that until you're beyond done, and genuinely feel like you are going to die, and *want* to die.

I had no idea how long it would last or when it would end, and whenever I had thoughts of quitting the detox, I would sort of have to shake my head and argue with myself to keep my head in the game and stick this through. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even type like I am right now on a keyboard because it hurt to move my fingers even slightly putting pressure on them.

I think in the 3 week mark my head started feeling a little clearer enough to sit up and eat a tiny bit for the first time. Just a bit of saltines, a bit of jello. And then when I finally started turning the corner I did manage to get down a smoothie. And after that I think I was living off of smoothies for a few days until I finally finished the withdrawal.

Three weeks of hell. It's different for everyone, the length it could be or how terrible or how easy the experience is. But I have to say, benzo withdrawal for me personally was the worst thing I have ever been through, purely because it does not let up. It has constant endurance so, you never get a break from the pain, it just worsens. It's very much so the worst kind of torture I've ever seen or experienced.

But if *I* can do it, you can. Yes, it was three weeks losing my mind writhing in pain in a bed. But once those three weeks are over, you are free from it, and it's totally worth just getting over the hump and doing it. Yes, it sucks majorly, it's the worst time ever, but then it's over, and you did it.

Also by the way, I tried just about every over the counter drug, supplement, whatever to help with the effects of the detox, I tried reading things that would help, etc. Nothing does, I can promise you that. They say like, "oh take this, take that." but, in my experience it did absolutely nothing. Not even over the counter pain relievers have any sort of effect. None. So yeah, unfortunately everything you put in that list there, isn't really going to lessen it.

There are prescribed medication assisted recovery options, but, obviously you'd have to consult a physician which it appears you have, and I think going to a detox would be smart as well if they will provide you with medical care you are looking for.

I honestly can't recommend someone does this alone without constant supervision. Not only for the medical necessity but, also mentally I could see someone not handling it well, the deep depressive element could be an SUI risk I won't lie.

Not to sound scary, but, I don't want to tell someone not to take it seriously and just cold turkey it like I did. Always get medical advice. But I'm just here for morale, and to tell you the honest truth, it's going to suck, but then it will be over.

I wish you well, be safe.

 

[4meSM]

I've cold turkey quit benzos before, however, everyone's experience with benzo withdrawal is completely unique. For some it is quite dangerous and should be done under medical supervision.

Yeah, once you become truly physically addicted you shouldn't even consider the possibility of stopping cold turkey, benzo WD is highly neurotoxic. Even if it doesn't kill you, you're likely doing long-term damage to your brain. It really should be avoided at all costs.
I understand that sometimes you just want to get over it quickly. The problem is that doing so will only make things harder for your future self...

When it comes to opioid WD, going through hell could be viewed as a good sign, since it means you're getting through the worst part and will probably start feeling better soon. This isn't the case with benzo/gabaergic WD, extreme suffering means you're doing it wrong... A proper benzo taper should be relatively manageable, and it truly is the only safe way to go. You don't necessarily need medical supervision, you just need a good taper plan.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Sorry mods, tried accessing other account multiple times but kept getting that "oops" error message. Tried contacting admin but that was also unsuccessful. Am on new device now.

Please re-enable 2fa setting for this account.

I'll let the admins deal with that. But are you forgetting your passwords?? Perhaps write them down in a notepad or something?

Anyways. Regarding the most recent posts here, I thank all of you for the support and advice. It is invaluable. I decided not to go back to detox after the 72 hours. I decided I wanted to spend this weekend spending time with relatives. The plan is for Monday now. But, if my withdrawal symptoms are very severe, I may have to go to the hospital for 48ish hours before being sent to detox. At least I will be a voluntary patient and won't require any police escorts.

I might have a cracked/broken rib now from last weekend. Just another day in my life haha.

Love you guys/girls

That sounds like a good plan. Please take care of yourself, and please don't combine benzos and alcohol. You'll end up with more cracked ribs or possibly worse! Keep us updated with how you're doing okay?

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Sorry mods, tried accessing other account multiple times but kept getting that "oops" error message. Tried contacting admin but that was also unsuccessful. Am on new device now.

Please re-enable 2fa setting for this account.

Anyways. Regarding the most recent posts here, I thank all of you for the support and advice. It is invaluable. I decided not to go back to detox after the 72 hours. I decided I wanted to spend this weekend spending time with relatives. The plan is for Monday now. But, if my withdrawal symptoms are very severe, I may have to go to the hospital for 48ish hours before being sent to detox. At least I will be a voluntary patient and won't require any police escorts.

I might have a cracked/broken rib now from last weekend. Just another day in my life haha.

Love you guys/girls

I been through it all brother, it's why I gave up the alcohol, I woke up once with the back of my head split open in bed with my pillow soaked in blood and my shins all cut up, couldn't remember what happened split my eyebrow up also and had to get stitches, combing benzos and anti psychotics together with alcohol, crazy shit.

 

[n3ophy7e]

@BenzoBrain^^ I've brought it to the attention of the admins for you again.

combing benzos and anti psychotics together with alcohol, crazy shit.

It truly is the worst combo

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

@BenzoBrain^^ I've brought it to the attention of the admins for you again.


It truly is the worst combo

Scary stuff, I could've died from my split head, didn't even go to the hospital, just washed it off.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Scary stuff, I could've died from my split head, didn't even go to the hospital, just washed it off.

I hope you don't do that again

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

I hope you don't do that again

It's been over a decade ago that happened, no more, my benzos are enough, I don't even take anti-psychotics anymore.

 

[TheLoveBandit]

Tried contacting admin but that was also unsuccessful. Am on new device now.

PM sent.

 

[n3ophy7e]

PM sent.

Cheers mate

 

[n3ophy7e]

And, the alcohol situation is even more complicated because I now live literally 20 steps away from a bar. Obviously I have been there many times. Usually for beer, but sometimes I'll get some shots or coffee.

@BenzoBrain^^ Yeah that makes it really difficult mate Do you have a plan for avoiding the bar if you don't want to drink that day but then you feel tempted?

My #1 golden rule has always been to never combine benzos and alcohol. Have I broken that rule? Yes, a couple of times. Have I regretted it? 1,000,000% yes.

 

[fdup]

Thanks chinup, even though I have now relapsed. Its cool. I really do need a therapist. But I have had the worst luck finding a good one. I also don't know if I want to spend/or how willing I am to spend

time dredging up the past. But having an unbiased person who FUCKING LISTENS, would be nice. And I know that just quitting the dope is not going to fix my problems. The dope masked my problems.

So. I still HAVE problems

agreed

 

[fdup]

I always want to drink. So whenever I have cash, I go there. I am going there in 3 hours for 3-4 pints of beer. Better than whisky hah. Whisky dick saved me from a much older predatory woman the other night though. Apparently there was also a previous incident where this 23 year old woman with a bf tries making out with me, but I was sober and declined. She was cute but crazy as hell. Told me she just smashed her boyfriends laptop into pieces...lol

my x smashed mine

 

[n3ophy7e]

Is everything okay now @BenzoBrain^^ ??

 

[n3ophy7e]

@BenzoBrain^^ is @BenzoBrain3 another account of yours? The first is the one with recent posts and the second is the OP of the thread.

sorry if you clarified that in the thread. I did not read all 6 pages.

Ahhh yes, it's the same person. He had log-in problems with the BenzoBrain^^ account and created the #3 one. But we got it sorted and he's just using the ^^ one now. If that makes sense?

 

[Jabberwocky]

More drama with police. @Perforated my mum called for a welfare check becuz I was not answering my phones. They usually send 1 officer. Not this time though...they sent FOUR police officers for a welfare check. Fuck I was scared.

I don’t think my parents ever thought enough about me long enough to consider organising a welfare check, so I’m kinda jealous your mun cares that much.

How did the 4 cops treat you when they turned up?