Benzos, don't want an addiction. + other questions

[John23]

Hey,

I'm suffering from an illness, benzo's don't take it away but they certainly help take away the pain and the feeling off being ''poisoned'' from 8 years old. I've never known ''well'' and i've never taken drugs in the past. I have never been able to work and never even managed school. Missed out on it all.

I've started getting to the point where life isn't worth it, i've found tramadol, kratom, and benzos all help somewhat. But, something went wrong, usually I am very sensible and careful and thought if I rotated these (which i'm hoping I can) would help ease the pain. I ended up taking the Kratom 3x everyday (maybe 20g thai kratom per day for three weeks) which I have now suddenly stopped to give my body a break.

But, the benzos... I don't know what happened. I went through about 50 10mg valiums in 3-4 days. I've stopped now. I want to use them as needed, I don't know what happened, it helped ease the suffering I was going through and once I had one I kept taking them which isn't like me at all. They didn't make me tired. They didn't knock me out. No one even knew I was on them (they were real prescription ones not fakes).

The other is Tramadol, which helps ease some of the symptoms to make it more manageable.

I've stopped all three, they are the only medicines (or drugs) I have found to give me any relief and I need advice on how much I can take (and rotate) these so they keep working. If I gain too much off a tolerance and they stop working then...I don't know what I would do. I'm in my 20's and I don't want drugs or an addiction. I have severe fatigue/weakness/ vascular problems, brain function problems, and pain. And please don't go on about diet and exercise, I am too ill for any exercise and my diet is dairy/wheat/gluten free and I eat very healthy.

I have stopped it all to give my body a rest, but i'm back to the misery which is my life, and i'm struggling, bad. Not from withdrawl but just because I feel so ill without these medicines / drugs.

Can I please have advice on how often / how much I can take per week to not have an addiction problem on top of what I have already?

I have tried stimulants to get me get out of the house, but I have problems with my heart and it goes crazy even with simple 10mg ritalin etc. None of the stimulants worked, they made it a whole lot worse

Thanks so much in advance. This isn't medical advice i'm looking for if thats not allowed. I am looking for advice on these three drug so they keep working without going up and up the dose and having an addiction.

 

[SDforever420]

The best advise i can probably give you is talk to your doctor. Im sure there are medications that would work better than kratom and tramadol. Benzos can get you. Try putting them out of house maybe. The garage. Car.

 

[John23]

Trust me, the doctors can't help me enough. I'm on vascular medications and tramadol and some valium from them. Thats all they can do in all these years. I've been trialled on all different medications from thyroid to steroids, and now LDN (which is helping a bit). The suffering is unbearable. Doctors can't do nearly enough. Without me trying things on my own, theres no hope. So i'm looking for help and advice on these or similar medicines/drugs. I want to be able to work, if there wasn't a tolerance build up on tramadol/kratom/valium I may just manage part time, but there is. How often can I use them?

Without me trying things myself, and the doctors can't help for years, when hope is gone, everything is.

 

[SDforever420]

Are you in pain? Or extreme discomfort? I would think they would give you pain killers. At least hydrocodone. Have you considered marijuana. For some people it works wonders.

 

[John23]

I am diagnosed with M.E. I know some of you will laugh and say thats some kind of mental illness, but no. I've had it since i've been eight. I have vascular problems also where my arms are in pain and my whole body goes cold and numb but that is helped from the vascular meds. I have severe leg pain while walking, tramadol is the most I can get from them (it even helps my other symptoms somewhat). Its feels like food poisoning 24/7. But even tramadol, I don't want to take it everyday (i'm prescribed 8 per day) because I know i'll just grow a tolerance and I don't want it to stop working.

Kratom helps the symptoms also, valium not so much but it helps. How often can I take these per week?

I haven't tried marijuana, all about is all soapbar.