I knew I was in for it when I decided to drink for a couple of nights in a row. You see, I have a chronic anxiety problem. 24/7 I feel the physical manifestation of anxiety and tension. With alcohol, if I drink for more than one day, after it wears off... I get severe anxiety, with hypnogogagic hallucinations when trying to sleep. Either it's just anxiety, or it's withdrawal.
So I decided to head off to my usual stomping grounds... the ER. They know me well, I've been there plenty of times for drug related anxiety problems and overdoses, they knew my history. I went ahead and over exaggerated alcohol withdrawals, the goal this time around, was to win me some Valium. (For me, benzos work well on my anxiety, plus I was terrified of the possibility that I really was going through withdrawals from alcohol, so Valium was perfect.)
The doctor immediately came in and glared at me with "YOU'RE NOT GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWALS!"
Well he went on to playing the psychologist role and started asking what I was really worried about. I told him seizures and shit, and that I also have been going through an existential crisis for the past year. He called in a therapist of some sort... who is starting to become one really good friend (you'll find out why later).
I went through hundreds upon hundreds of questions. Until finally the therapist asked the nurse if the doc could give me meds for my little problem. Fascinating, after a little wait, the nurse walked back in with a script for Valium. Unbelievable. I was jumping for joy inside, but on the outside I played oblivious. I went home very satisfied.
So now this therapist of mine is asking all sorts of questions every time I go to see her, I'm to see a psychiatrist soon also for medication to treat anxiety. Well unbelievably, this therapist is actually LEAVING OUT my substance and alcohol abuse history when entering in all of my information in her computer (which is networked), just so I can get the "proper meds" for my anxiety. Wow. Talk about making my life easier eh?
Now, while yes I am "drug seeking", and yes there is a bit of diversion going on... no I'm not looking to actually get high on benzos. As a matter of fact, in spite of the deadly and uncomfortable withdrawal syndrome associated with them, and the other problems that can arise... I actually want to be put on these meds long term. SO MAYBE FOR ONCE, I can live anxiety free for more than a couple of days. I'm honestly scared to try antidepressants anyways.
So I'm not totally sure of what I should do when I go in to see the Pdoc... Benzos? Antidepressants? Both?!?!?! Well, I may give the Antidepressants an honest shot, they might really work. But knowing that benzos for sure will do it... it's just a struggle to decide. Well just thought it would be an interesting story for everyone to read, I kinda would like input too. No this is not a "how to fool doctors" guide. It's legit.
So I decided to head off to my usual stomping grounds... the ER. They know me well, I've been there plenty of times for drug related anxiety problems and overdoses, they knew my history. I went ahead and over exaggerated alcohol withdrawals, the goal this time around, was to win me some Valium. (For me, benzos work well on my anxiety, plus I was terrified of the possibility that I really was going through withdrawals from alcohol, so Valium was perfect.)
The doctor immediately came in and glared at me with "YOU'RE NOT GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWALS!"
Well he went on to playing the psychologist role and started asking what I was really worried about. I told him seizures and shit, and that I also have been going through an existential crisis for the past year. He called in a therapist of some sort... who is starting to become one really good friend (you'll find out why later).
I went through hundreds upon hundreds of questions. Until finally the therapist asked the nurse if the doc could give me meds for my little problem. Fascinating, after a little wait, the nurse walked back in with a script for Valium. Unbelievable. I was jumping for joy inside, but on the outside I played oblivious. I went home very satisfied.
So now this therapist of mine is asking all sorts of questions every time I go to see her, I'm to see a psychiatrist soon also for medication to treat anxiety. Well unbelievably, this therapist is actually LEAVING OUT my substance and alcohol abuse history when entering in all of my information in her computer (which is networked), just so I can get the "proper meds" for my anxiety. Wow. Talk about making my life easier eh?
Now, while yes I am "drug seeking", and yes there is a bit of diversion going on... no I'm not looking to actually get high on benzos. As a matter of fact, in spite of the deadly and uncomfortable withdrawal syndrome associated with them, and the other problems that can arise... I actually want to be put on these meds long term. SO MAYBE FOR ONCE, I can live anxiety free for more than a couple of days. I'm honestly scared to try antidepressants anyways.
So I'm not totally sure of what I should do when I go in to see the Pdoc... Benzos? Antidepressants? Both?!?!?! Well, I may give the Antidepressants an honest shot, they might really work. But knowing that benzos for sure will do it... it's just a struggle to decide. Well just thought it would be an interesting story for everyone to read, I kinda would like input too. No this is not a "how to fool doctors" guide. It's legit.