Benzo withdrawal & suicidal thoughts

[Pagey]

Hey,
I've been taking benzos at high doses for weeks (they were prescribed to me for neck pain) and have become completely dependant on them...thing is I have no more left and I can't go back to my doctor's asking for more since they were supposed to last for another month at least. Tonight I took the last ones and I am FREAKING out. I'm going to be quitting cold turkey too, which apparently can lead to seizures...but to be honest I just don't care. The past few months have been awful and tonight I just learned my ex of two years, who broke up with me a month ago, is with another girl now...and I don't know how I'm going to get through this without them. I've spent the past 3 hours thinking about ways to kill myself. Just doesn't seem worth going through all this if they're not even here to comfort me. What's the point, you know? Any help or advice would be very much appreciated.

 

[herbavore]

I'm sorry that you are having to go through these withdrawals and at the same time deal with the emotional pain of the break-up. I think that you should let your doctor in on the situation with the benzo withdrawals. You do need to get off them but putting yourself at risk for seizures is very risky. Could you call tomorrow? Even though I know you are feeling hopeless and depressed right now, you need to understand that some of that is probably both the benzo over use and the withdrawals now. Figure out how to taper safely and then give yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship.

Thinking about ways to kill yourself can be an emotional venting or it can be real. If you feel that you may actually harm yourself please call someone and get yourself to a safe place. If you do not have a friend or family member who you can tell this to, please call a crisis line. Your life is worth a lot. You are just lost and in pain right now but life can change quickly and in unexpected ways. Give yourself time even if that means going through some really hard times right now. Please PM me if you want to or think it could help.