Hey
@throwaway4benzos and a belated welcome to the Bluelight community!

We are always happy to see new folks getting involved.
The only thing I know about you currently is what you have posted here, so forgive me. I don't think I know everything and all of this is just opinion. I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but please know that I'm 100% sincere.
Benzodiazepines are not meant to be used for longer than 2-4 weeks, period. When you have seen as much Benzo carnage as many of us here have, it's pretty easy to understand why those parameters exist.
Outside of these guidelines, I have met very few people for whom Benzodiazepines actually left them in better shape than when they started. You have mentioned binging on RC Benzodiazepines. This is a bad indicator man. There are many people out there with anxiety who thought they had found the holy grail when they first encountered Benzodiazepines. They just couldn't stand it. They start taking Benzodiazepines and the freedom one feels from that anxiety is intoxicating.
In my opinion, the best option would be to have a plan in which you will use the smallest dosage possible. While you're taking this prescribed dosage, you can spend that month getting things in your life straight that are causing your anxiety. Perhaps this means therapy, reconnecting with family/friends or something work-related. Either way, use the Benzodiazepines as a tool that is only one of many. After your month is up, you can do a taper until you're clean and attempt to hit life with what you've learned.
If that plan has no other parameters aside from taking Benzodiazepines, it's not likely to end well. They are just not suitable for chronic consumption in this manner and this is not my opinion but essentially an accepted fact.
I know you weren't looking for a lecture. Benzodiazepines can seem very benign, but they are extremely destructive when not used within established medical guidelines.