If people feel bad because you feel like you've made no progress with the benzo taper....Don't. I am at 10 months and relapsed right back to square 1.
March last year was on 30mg diazepam
Got down to 5mg by May.
Then life stuff happened (armed robbery whilst overseas working - AK-47s in the face not so fun for WDs!) and I just hovered around 5-10mg until October, where I got down to 2mg for a week. Sooooooooo close. Yet so so far.
By January 2nd this year me and my wife come back home on what was supposed to be a temporary holiday ..... Unlucky me, I end up getting kidney stones - I get hooked on my opiate pain meds, and go nuts with illicit diazepam and some xanax and k-pins thrown in for good measure...Then start buying some Heroin and Oxy on top of the dihydrocodeine prescribed meds. Now I have a dual addiction and outpatient rehab.
On the bright side I did not find the taper very painful at all, perhaps because I was travelling and working overseas it occupied me enough? Or it might've been because I was taking it slowly and had a GP with the Ashton Taper Schedule and who understood the need to take it slowly.
It's incredibly frustrating being stuck back at square one, but relapses happen. Learn from it, try not to dwell too much (though I need to take my advice more than most on this matter lol). I don't think looking through message boards online and reading about how benzos can permanently damage your brain and cause dementia etc is at all helpful, it'll just feed that WD anxiety and make you paranoid to the point many symptoms become psychosomatic.....Sure, they do cause damage, but so do A LOT of other substances. Even alcohol is toxic. And I am a firm believer your brain and body can regenerate: It's remarkable the kind of abuse our bodies and minds can actually take, and how they can regenerate. Meditation (no, you dont need to be a hippie or a religious person to practice meditation and reap the rewards), getting exercise (even if it's just walking or gardening) and a good diet will go a very long way to reversing a lot of the damage, I believe.
The real challenge is not relapsing and dealing with cravings - but remembering these cravings are temporary and if you just let them pass and find things you enjoy doing instead they seem to pass much quicker....But of course, I need to take my own advice here. lol
None of us are perfect.