Tapering Benzo withdrawal: Losing my mind

[Jabberwocky]

That would be a fantastic idea. You could easily get away taking 10mg/twice a day, and it would really go a long way to the constant swings as you know all too well. It is a much better medication to manage mid to long term benzo use than shorter acting ones like lorazepam, clonazepam and alprazolam.

 

[manofadude]

I've been reading your story and want to share mine. I cold turkeyed off klonopin about 4 months ago. I've been having such bad mental wds I don't know what will help me..but time. A lot of it. I'm nowhere near the end of the tunnel but I can see a dimming light and that's what you should think. I am sucked into my thoughts all day and can't even enjoy weed.

Yesterday I almost had a setback with my friend who had some shit we were gonna take but he ditched me and I drove home so angry I almost fucking totaled my car...I feel so bad about it and Ofc the money I now have to drop on fixing it. But hey, I'm alive. And back when I was buying Xanax and cocaine everyday I would've never had the money for a problem like this. Think positive. Best of luck pal

^i wanna say that my biggest mistake was cold turkeying. On my first week wd'ing I was driving home and had a severe panic attack..could barely press my brakes at a red light. This stuff is serious, never cold turkey

Just found out the repairs to my car are 5 grand, half of what I bought it for! ? Have a great day my friends

 

[cj]

Just found out the repairs to my car are 5 grand, half of what I bought it for! �� Have a great day my friends

Damn that sucks.


Took .5 just then for my morning dose. Gonna try and last as long as possible before taking my evening dose. Might take some seroqiel and try to sleep.

 

[manofadude]

Ya I know for real, and good stuff. That seems like a bit of a big drop but no sweat. Just wondering to anybody reading this, last night I took a drive. And well does anybody else feel like they could accidently run a red light and not even notice. Scary thought?

 

[cj]

Ya I know for real, and good stuff. That seems like a bit of a big drop but no sweat. Just wondering to anybody reading this, last night I took a drive. And well does anybody else feel like they could accidently run a red light and not even notice. Scary thought��

Its too big of a drop but I am hoping the half life gives me a little cushion

 

[Jabberwocky]

I think you have a great planning trying to stick it out with the clonazepam you have already taken and then take a nap with some Seroquel. I've had to do that kind of thing before, although with opioid and another time with zolpidem withdrawal as opposed to benzos.

Just wondering to anybody reading this, last night I took a drive. And well does anybody else feel like they could accidently run a red light and not even notice. Scary thought?

I have done this, genuinely by accident:

Drunk
Tripping balls
Gacked out of my mind
Naked and flailing
Rolling
Sober

What can I say, it happens. I had a rather eventful adolescence. Thank god those days are long over. It did all leave me with some funny stories though. Perhaps for another thread...

 

[cj]

Yeah the .5 dose hasn't been to bad. Probably will start doing this every other day to keep the half-life built up in my system.

edit Just took my 1mg night dose relatively on time. Good shit. Just need to do it 9 more times in next 19 days.

 

[CfZrx]

Good to know Thanks CfZrx. When were you in SB? Did you end up finding some kind of work through such a program there? I am curious to hear what kind of opportunities they provide in any kind of detail.

Hey TPdog, I think I was there back in 2004 or 5. My lack of street smarts (actually making the choice to use meth, heroin and crack) finally led to sleeping on the sidewalks and in bushes, shelters and scary homes. I had an opportunity to get $200 and made the wise decision to only spend $100 on drugs, and the rest on a greyhound ticket to SB where I knew would be better for getting clean than Seattle, SF or LA. Here is the website for a place where anyone can change their life http://www.sbrm.org -----disclaimer* I did not take advantage of the Missions treatment program, but I highly recommend it to any addict who is reading this! I promise you will be ok here My story was that I kept holding out the hope that many homeless guys do, that I would meet Princess Charming who would save me from this soup kitchen hell I'd found myself in. However I started working enough to take drug trips down in LA and eventually got strung out again. Then I met a college student female who took me home and we've been together ever since. Oh yeah, and I got clean! And I love it!

 

[JoeJunky]

Ya I know for real, and good stuff. That seems like a bit of a big drop but no sweat. Just wondering to anybody reading this, last night I took a drive. And well does anybody else feel like they could accidently run a red light and not even notice. Scary thought

Hell yeah, I'm tapering benzo and smoking a lot more tree. I'm always turning left or going through a light wondering if I really looked.

 

[cj]

Hey TPdog, I think I was there back in 2004 or 5. My lack of street smarts (actually making the choice to use meth, heroin and crack) finally led to sleeping on the sidewalks and in bushes, shelters and scary homes. I had an opportunity to get $200 and made the wise decision to only spend $100 on drugs, and the rest on a greyhound ticket to SB where I knew would be better for getting clean than Seattle, SF or LA. Here is the website for a place where anyone can change their life http://www.sbrm.org -----disclaimer* I did not take advantage of the Missions treatment program, but I highly recommend it to any addict who is reading this! I promise you will be ok here My story was that I kept holding out the hope that many homeless guys do, that I would meet Princess Charming who would save me from this soup kitchen hell I'd found myself in. However I started working enough to take drug trips down in LA and eventually got strung out again. Then I met a college student female who took me home and we've been together ever since. Oh yeah, and I got clean! And I love it!

Sounds like the princess charming dream worked fine for you. A shame I suck with women.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Relationships aren't for everyone. Don't feel too discouraged cj. There's seven billion people out there. Sometimes it takes a long time to find someone right for you.

 

[VastEmpty]

Sounds like the princess charming dream worked fine for you. A shame I suck with women.

Have you ever thought maybe you don't suck with women, but they suck with you? Being one of those women, I feel confident saying that sometimes we suck. Having said that, I'm confident that, when the time is right, you will run into Mrs. CJ.

Hows the taper going, CJ?

- VE

 

[manofadude]

I wish I could smoke and still enjoy it

 

[CfZrx]

Sounds like the princess charming dream worked fine for you. A shame I suck with women.

Yes I got lucky, but by the time I finally met her I had given up on being clean and would have made choices that would have led to me being raped, murdered and diseased. I was saved by minutes. If I was in the same situation today, being street wise, I would get my ass to SB and stick it out until I was in the Missions bible-ish (not my first choice,lol) treatment program for homeless dudes But, yeah at the time I met her I had given up on any woman wanting me, my self esteem was uber low.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I wish I could smoke and still enjoy it

no shame in giving it up

 

[cj]

Have you ever thought maybe you don't suck with women, but they suck with you? Being one of those women, I feel confident saying that sometimes we suck. Having said that, I'm confident that, when the time is right, you will run into Mrs. CJ.

Hows the taper going, CJ?

- VE

Maybe so. I mean what girl wouldn't want an unemployed drug addicted guy who lives with his parents? lol


Taper has turned into a yeah I like kolonopin and want to stay prescribed to it kind of thing. Methadone taper is going to start soon though.

 

[simco]

...

Taper has turned into a yeah I like kolonopin and want to stay prescribed to it kind of thing. Methadone taper is going to start soon though.

Dude, fwiw, I've been Rx'd klonopin for many years and I credit it with saving my ass many times over. Yeah, it's a bitch to get tied to it, and some day I may decide to taper off. But so long as you can take it as directed, and so long as you stay honest about whether it's helping you, it can be a lifesaver. I hope you continue to find it helpful!

 

[cj]

I got enough etizolam off the street today to make up for the daysi over took the kpin so no more taper this month . Feeling good today.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I got enough etizolam off the street today to make up for the daysi over took the kpin so no more taper this month . Feeling good today.

please be careful with it.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Roughly how much etiz are you taking per day cj? Just curious, not planning to scold you or anything. I do know we like our benzos, although perhaps you more than I, after all

On a side note, you know what pisses me off? I've never been truly dependent on the stuff, but there was a point where I was eating like 300-900mg of temazepam (my favorite) a day for a couple days a month and 100-600mg of diazepam (a close second) a day for a couple days a month. It was insane the tolerance I'd somehow managed to build up after occasional clonazepam and alprazolam use over the years (and by occasional, I mean about once a week to once every two weeks, but very regularly).

Fast forward a few years and now I almost never use benzos. This isn't because I don't enjoy them, it's because I feel literally nothing from 6mg of clonazepam (or the equivalent diazepam or alprazolam). It's a very frustrating tolerance. I'd trade in my occasional beer drinking for occasional benzo eating any day, given how alcohol doesn't agree with me very much), but I guess in a way I've lucky I've gotten to the point where continued experimentation or use of benzos is a near fruitless endevor.

It keeps me in awe of how powerful the stuff is. I became dependent on opioids far earlier than I ever really got into benzos primarily because I understood how much worse benzo withdrawal was compared to opioid withdrawal - and opioid withdrawal was bad enough for me, I couldn't imagine dealing with both! And now to think what my sporadic benzo use must have done to my brain - not in terms of nasty side effects or anything, merely as regard to my monster tolerance despite not having used them for god knows how long... Crazy, I've never met a drug that can produce a seemingly near permanent tolerance like that even without dependent.