Heroin Benzo user obsessed with heroin

[LeLouche]

Just want to know, and this isn't sourcing but seriously...OP could you even find heroin if you wanted to?

I'm curious because I'd like to know if there is someone in your life that has some heroin, and maybe is causing you to think about it, or is it you literally just started of dreaming of a drug you only heard about?

Either way, don't do it. You should address why you are even considering it very seriously. Chances are it will ruin your life.

 

[Pagey]

livetheopiatedream - I'm sure I could get a decent kick from pretty much any drug out there that isn't a benzo/alcohol, I really don't have much experience...but the thing is I'm not actually that interested in trying drugs (I mean I'd like to try various ones some day, but you know, nothing more than a little interest), there's just something about heroin I guess. I don't actually really know why.
phatass - yes, I would say I've got an addictive personality, I mean I got addicted to benzos fairly easily. Never had problems with anything else though; I think one of the main problems would probably be that in the back of my mind I'd definitely be using the heroin to self-medicate, even though I'm sure I'd try to convince myself otherwise, so that probably wouldn't help in terms of walking away from it afterwards.
LeLouche well no I actually don't know anyone who has heroin, nor anyone who has ever done it so it's literally just dreaming of a drug I've only heard about. I know, it's stupid. I've heard of all the devastation it causes and stuff, but well wants are rarely rational. I do have ideas as to where I could find some though, I live in a big city and drugs really aren't that hard to come across - also know a few people who are in regular contact with dealers (though it's for nothing more than pot I think).

 

[Swain]

livetheopiatedream - I'm sure I could get a decent kick from pretty much any drug out there that isn't a benzo/alcohol, I really don't have much experience...but the thing is I'm not actually that interested in trying drugs (I mean I'd like to try various ones some day, but you know, nothing more than a little interest), there's just something about heroin I guess. I don't actually really know why.
phatass - yes, I would say I've got an addictive personality, I mean I got addicted to benzos fairly easily. Never had problems with anything else though; I think one of the main problems would probably be that in the back of my mind I'd definitely be using the heroin to self-medicate, even though I'm sure I'd try to convince myself otherwise, so that probably wouldn't help in terms of walking away from it afterwards.
LeLouche well no I actually don't know anyone who has heroin, nor anyone who has ever done it so it's literally just dreaming of a drug I've only heard about. I know, it's stupid. I've heard of all the devastation it causes and stuff, but well wants are rarely rational. I do have ideas as to where I could find some though, I live in a big city and drugs really aren't that hard to come across - also know a few people who are in regular contact with dealers (though it's for nothing more than pot I think).

Do not pick up heroin. The way you describe your self heroin will be the end of you. You plan on using it to self medicate. You are obsessed never having even felt the high...what happens once you do experience it? YOu will never EVER be able to put it down.

I have to say, if you ipck up heroin, you are making the biggest mistake of your life. Heroin is not a drug to mess around with or experminent with. It is not LSD ecstasy or mushrooms. It is highly addictive and it is with absolute certainty that all it will take is one single use of the drug to doom you to hell. Most people who try heroin get sucked in.. and some of these people consider them selves to have major will power, etc.. You have a history of addiction, you know your self to have an addictive personality, you are a prime candidate to get locked in heroin hell.

Ask anyone on this board who has a dope habit if they enjoy life. I am sure they enjoy being high, and the portion of their life when they are able to maintain that.. but the rest of the time I really consider it to be hell on earth.

Right now, you don't have to deal with major financial issues, a bone crippling opiate dependency/addiction, or the police. Something heroin users seem to be rewarded with regularly lol. Just being free of addiction/dependency to dope and never having felt the high, you are in a position most of us dream of being in/going back to. There is no going back though.. only forward.

Honestly, you don't know how lucky you are being able to wake up every day and enjoy life without worrying about your next fix.. I am not exagerating to scare you man.. i am speaking the truth. Heroin does not know/care if you have a lot of a little will power. it doesn't care if you are black or white, rich or poor, fat and ugly or a rich supermodel with babes all over them. All it cares about is hooking you line and sinker straight to fucking hell

 

[Titus]

Seems like there is nothing more I could tell you that you don't already know. Looking forward to montly updates should you decide to 'try' it

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

OP have you taken any other opiates before?

I've never used dope but I have friends who were addicts and they told me how it's pretty much like oxy only more sedating and you nod a lot more and don't really get the energy that you can from oxy or at least when I took oxy-only on low doses of it I did stuff like this, I would love to do cardio exercise on it like running, playing soccer with friends, and even swimming. My friends also said how it's very overrated and that dope is just like a strong opiate/painkiller.

I was majorly obsessed with heroin and the idea of using it when I was badly depressed years ago. I had taken other opiates and enjoyed the high from them but didn't get addicted to them. I never used heroin since I saw what it did to a lot of my friends and how some of them thought they could only use it once or a few times, or even just on weekends and they all got addicted and wound up getting into slamming it even if they swore they'd only snort it or smoke it. I also realized that using heroin or other drugs wouldn't make all of my problems or issues go away and that it would just make things worse for me especially if I got addicted to an opiate.

Since you apparently take a lot of benzos and are addicted to them don't combine them with an opiate at all, and someone else said how you should see a doctor or get into NA/treatment to get off of them safely since benzos aren't something you want to quit cold turkey. Don't replace one drug or addiction with another. Although that's easier said than done and I speak from experience. Good luck.

 

[morphonorconic]

yeah u do it once and it starts this eternal fire that burns under under your ass until u procure more opiates bc its just so excellent. then youre shooting heroin all day with no job completely fucked up school and what not.. its a terrible path. heroins pretty potent if u dont really do opiates. u could prolly get a decent effect from something less strong like even codeine or some percocet or soemthing u dont have to be jumping straight to h. one way to skyrocket ur tolerance.

Never use codeine intravenously, or percocet either. Codeine will causes a massive release of histamine and subsequently a severe allergic reaction. I don't think I need to explain why injecting a pill with acetaminophen is bad news

Pagey- I'm sure it will all get better once the drugs have cleared your system. Try to be patient, stay occupied, and look forward to an improved life rather than focusing on past mistakes and present anxiety.

Also, you should check out the Dark Side forum. You'll find a lot of positive support and people who can empathize with your situation.

 

[burn out]

I didnt read this thread so I dont know if these points have already made but Ill go ahead and say them anyway

1) heroin isn't true happiness. No drug is, but in my opinion at least, mushrooms and other psychedelics come a lot closer to showing you true happiness than heroin.

2) If you've done any other opiates before, than chances are you have a pretty good idea what heroin feels like.

3) it is POSSIBLE to try it just once and it is POSSIBLE to run through traffic without getting hit by a car. Why risk it though?

 

[Pagey]

PriestTheyCalledHim no, I've never done any other opiate before. I also mentioned in a previous post that I told my doctor about my benzo addiction and I'm coming off them right now
Anyway thanks a lot for all the support everyone, I think I've gotten all the answers I needed, and I won't try it. At this point in my life it just isn't worth the risk. I'll experiment with some less strong drugs or something.

 

[LesFleursDuMal]

You're probably dreaming of what we all want: bliss, satisfaction, removal. swim can truely relate having been addicted to opiates (swim's d.o.c.'s were morphine from both pain meds and dried pods, black tar - tried only twice though, and worst of all.... hydrocodone or demerol, which started everything for swim). swim felt incredible being removed from external cares/concerns, and the euphoria made swim relaxed and optimistic.

Now swim is given clonazepam by his doctor and often has the same thoughts you are. You shouldnt look to opiates for relief from pain, but healthy living and good relationships. Swim has resisted the urge to buy a balloon recently, probably saved his life... but swim cant stand to see people lose themselves in any drug because many of his friends have. You cant describe the high from H. It's not worth it though after you start coming down. You won't be yourself, you'll argue about small issues, and eventually convince yourself that life on opiates is all there is. Be safe if you do try, swim has seen how it quickly ruins not only someone's reputation and freindships, but distorts your perception of yourself. Swim NEEDS drugs now to function.

BE VERY SAFE IF YOU TRY. Not kidding. Swim has been to one heroin funeral already. If people care and support you, consider them before trying.

 

[Swain]

We don't do that stupid ass swimming bullshit here.

 

[LesFleursDuMal]

We don't do that stupid ass swimming bullshit here.

Better to swim than to sink. If you get my drift...
And come on dude... so what?... so what if someone is trying to be helpful, while retaining some anonymity? Get a life, swaaaiiiinnnn... Wait, no... grow the hell up and find more 'deviant bullshit' to make snide remarks towards.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Better to swim than to sink. If you get my drift...
And come on dude... so what?... so what if someone is trying to be helpful, while retaining some anonymity? Get a life, swaaaiiiinnnn... Wait, no... grow the hell up and find more 'deviant bullshit' to make snide remarks towards.

Nah, he's actually right, buddy.. it's in the Blue Light guidelines..don't use "SWIM"..it' stupid and actually doesn't protect you from anything. You'll see, the mod's will actually go through posts and take that out. Just say "I" in the future..it just pisses people off any other way and like I said, doesn't give you any "anonymity" at all..

 

[madog11]

^^ This. Please edit it out of your post.

 

[J.D.]

I could go through and respond to all the relevant points here (which is most of them), but I'll save us both the time.

Heroin hasn't completely fucked up my life. It has caused me more problems (health, social, family and monetary) than I could ever imagine. And yeah, I can say I only used it once. For two years so far, and see no end in sight. However, it sounds like you have already made up your mind to use - regardless of your "promises" to posters here and that you now know how bad it is. You are physically and spiritually vulnerable and weak right now, and heroin loves to jump on that bandwagon.

I'm not going to bother saying don't do it, you're not listening to that anyway. Just do whatever it is you decide to do in the safest way possible. There is a lot of information here on Bluelight to help keep you relatively safe.

 

[Titus]

I could go through and respond to all the relevant points here (which is most of them), but I'll save us both the time.

Heroin hasn't completely fucked up my life. It has caused me more problems (health, social, family and monetary) than I could ever imagine. And yeah, I can say I only used it once. For two years so far, and see no end in sight. However, it sounds like you have already made up your mind to use - regardless of your "promises" to posters here and that you now know how bad it is. You are physically and spiritually vulnerable and weak right now, and heroin loves to jump on that bandwagon.

I'm not going to bother saying don't do it, you're not listening to that anyway. Just do whatever it is you decide to do in the safest way possible. There is a lot of information here on Bluelight to help keep you relatively safe.

No particular reason I"m asking you, just that your post is the last in the thread at this point. but a general question:

I have a friend, someone who was a long term heroin addict. Became homeless at age 6, lving in alley's with wino's. He told he that a true heroin junkie, a hardcore one, who was sick and in need of a fix to get well- if offered some dope from a syringe from a friend who he knew had HIV and he did not would go ahead and use the syringe to fix and get well 'because he's sick right now and the problem is right now and he would be more concerned about 'fixing' the problem he was experiencing in the moment much moreso than worrying about some 'potential' consequences that may come 10 years from now. He told me this maybe 20 years ago, long before I ever tried heroin and before I really had any info on it or before I know any heroin users/addicts for more than a couple of months.

Just wondering how many people think this is true. Strongly agree, strongly disagree, think it's possible be depends on other factos such as degree of withdrawl sickness, other issues that may be going on in the person's lie at the moment making him more dpressed and less rational, etc, etc???

What do you guys think about that? I"m interested in some feedback on this and think this is as good a thread as any to have such a discussion.... thoughts? comments?

 

[morphonorconic]

^Though a perfectly good question/topic, that would completely derail this thread. Begin a new thread and transcribe what you've written above.

To the point answer: Yes. Heroin/opiate withdrawl makes people extremely impulsive and irrational.

 

[Titus]

^Though a perfectly good question/topic, that would completely derail this thread. Begin a new thread and transcribe what you've written above.

To the point answer: Yes. Heroin/opiate withdrawl makes people extremely impulsive and irrational.

I agree about the new thread thing, the reason I choose to put it here is the OP keeps asking and keeps asking depite hearing hte same msg so thought I might be saving a life by giving her/him 'the same message' in a stronger way.

 

[J.D.]

No particular reason I"m asking you, just that your post is the last in the thread at this point. but a general question:

I have a friend, someone who was a long term heroin addict. Became homeless at age 6, lving in alley's with wino's. He told he that a true heroin junkie, a hardcore one, who was sick and in need of a fix to get well- if offered some dope from a syringe from a friend who he knew had HIV and he did not would go ahead and use the syringe to fix and get well 'because he's sick right now and the problem is right now and he would be more concerned about 'fixing' the problem he was experiencing in the moment much moreso than worrying about some 'potential' consequences that may come 10 years from now. He told me this maybe 20 years ago, long before I ever tried heroin and before I really had any info on it or before I know any heroin users/addicts for more than a couple of months.

Just wondering how many people think this is true. Strongly agree, strongly disagree, think it's possible be depends on other factos such as degree of withdrawl sickness, other issues that may be going on in the person's lie at the moment making him more dpressed and less rational, etc, etc???

What do you guys think about that? I"m interested in some feedback on this and think this is as good a thread as any to have such a discussion.... thoughts? comments?

I don't believe there can be an absolute answer to that question. Just like every man has his price, every junkie has his low. Your friend's analogy sounds a little "Reefer Madness"-ish to me.

Personally, there's no doubt in my mind or body that I'm addicted to heroin. I use it all the time. When I'm not using it, I'm obsessing over it. I don't think I'd ever get to the position your friend describes, simply because I have more resources to procure my drugs. I've gone through w/d's only a few times, and fortunately they aren't that bad for me. I've been able to weather that storm.

So to answer your question, no, I would never go that low. But I am madly and desperately in love with a man who would go that low, and probably has. I don't know why his lower is lower than mine.

(I'm really on the fence about posting this - I have no idea what lows may be coming my way to kick my ass just to make a point.)

 

[Pagey]

Guyys you're making me feel annoying haha (though if you scroll up a bit I actually said I'd gotten all the answers I needed...and btw J.D no, my mind wasn't set at all when I first started this thread, hence the questions and, in fact, all of these helpful answers have made me decide I won't try it).
Anyway Titus unfortunately that does sound possible.