you're exactly right re weed. and its been that way for a decade. and thats my disapppointment, i thought last night a bit of alcohol would do the trick, it didn't. unfortunately, and i've only very recently admitted this to myself, i have built up a dependency on alcohol on top of my weed dependency.
i am going to try again tonight. i am so drunk now its fucking ridicuous. this post is the result of hard work not sobriety. my relationship with benzos is already not good, i.e. i haven't not owned them for the past 4+ years, but i need to sleep over christmas, i can't bring the fuckin ridiculous shite i've done to myself on my family, which is what would happen if i took nothing, cos i just wouldn't sleep.
fucking hell anyone reading this without these issues. i am not a drug addict. i'm an upstanding member of society supposedly, don't do this to yourself. it will never be worth it for the extra few hours you spend awake at night. fucking hell i'm a hypocritical bitch saying that but just don't do it.
still not sure which i'll take if in several hours i'm stlll awake. it shouldn't be like this. i've fucking ruined one of the only unadulterated pleasures in life, rest. will prob be xanax, am taken in by the 'don't take zopiclone within 7 hours of wanting to be a functional human being' thing, though not sure how relevant that is from my perspective, i thought functional people could sleep.