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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Benzo addiction - Cold turkey

I am doing a little cardio every day. I am walking with the dogs for like 30 minutes. I still feel fine though - very little muscle spasms and increased anxiety. But the diazepam probably haven't left my body yet.

I will never use benzodiazepines again on a regular basis. Maybe a couple of times per month and only those with short half life. This has really frightened me.

I am still sleeping like a baby and I have no problem falling asleep. I sleep like 9 hours every night and it takes me 15 minutes to fall asleep. My dreams are VERY realistic though, but not nightmares - actually kinda hot dreams =D It's now 6 days since my last dose.

What do you guys think? Will the withdrawels worsen ALOT or is that impossible to say?
 
First of all, I wish you the best of luck quitting benzos! <3

Opioten said:
I really don't want to tapper off slowly because I feel that the more time I'm doing em' the more addicted I am getting.
Click to expand...

Not true.

As long as you're lowering your dosage by 10% every month, you're not getting more addicted. In fact, quite the contrary: you're getting LESS addicted. Healing. :)

Your GABA receptors heal during tapering, they slowly get used to needing less and less benzo until eventually they need none. It will take the same amount of time to get better, regardless of the method you use IMO-- if you go cold turkey, you spend that time being quite uncomfortable-- but if you taper, you spend most of that time in relative comfort.

You're really lucky because you already have a script for diazepam, which makes tapering a very easy process. Don't quit cold turkey, just taper off-- it's much, MUCH less painful-- and decreases your chances of developing protracted withdrawal symptoms as well.

edit-- only read the first post when I posted this. I didn't realize you've been off for 6 days.

I think you might have gotten lucky-- the symptoms might worsen a bit at week 2, but I don't think by much.

Opioten said:
Maybe a couple of times per month and only those with short half life.
Click to expand...

This is a common misconception. Short half-life benzos are much MORE addictive.

The long half-life of diazepam is its sole saving grace. You don't want strong receptor agonism followed by rapid clearance of the drug, you want a consistent level of receptor agonsism followed by slow, gradual clearance of the drug.
 
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8 days into withdrawel - I had trouble sleeping tonight, but I got about 7 hours anyways =) Still no cravings at all (due to respect of the drug). Yesterday I had more muscle spasms than usual but still only some minor ones- nothing I would panic about. I have made some changes in my diet so I should be able to sleep faster (I hope).
 
Small update from me =) 12 days into withdrawel and the symptoms are fading away I think. The musclespasms are almost not there anymore (Atleast I don't notice em') and I feel my anxiety is back to normal.

Well maybe I'm just lucky or the withdrawels will hit me this week at full force?
 
I'm glad you're doing well and keep a positive attitude, don't keep anticipating the worst to happen at any time.

Keep in mind my burglar metaphor above- unless you fortify that window, its probably a matter of time until someone breaks in again. Take this opportunity while you're feeling better now to learn alternative ways to cope with anxiety so IF it gets bad again, you'll have other tools besides needing benzos.

This has really turned into 'TDS' material so I'm going to send it over there.

*TDS mods* - I don't think there is an triggering material, but you may want to have a second look as I tend to miss things. I apologize if you find any!


--->TDS
 
dealing w/ anxiety w/o benzos

opioten, congratulations on your successful tapering of diazepam. you earned it. i suffer from severe panic attacks and anxiety, so i know how hard it is to deal with it. even though you're up a notch from me (since you're not using benzos), i thought of perhaps suggesting a few things that i do that may help you or anyone else.

first, i put a # on my anxiety from a scale of 0 to 10.

0 - 4: go through my strategy set
4.5 - 7.5: go through my strategy set, and if the # doesn't go down, take medication
7.5+: take medication and then go through strategy set

what i call here as a strategy set is just basically a list of activities with the intention of reducing my anxiety levels without the ingestion of chemicals (alcohol was huge for me) or unhealthy behavior (smoking, scratching, punching myself, etc.).

my strategy set consists of things like these:

* hold ice cubes in each hand while performing deep breathing exercises.

* call a friend and communicate the (usually irrational) worries and talk about the anxiety - or talk about something totally different. distracting myself from feeding the anxiety is important.

* i'm a concert pianist, so doing activities like going through scales help me. perhaps an activity of some sort that you could do like that would help..?

* writing. whether i'm journaling about my (usually irrational) worries, describing my anxiety, or focusing on how i want to feel - i find writing to help me a lot.

i do each one for at least 10 - 15 minutes. if one doesn't work, i try another one, then another one... until the last resort: medication.

also, i keep a small daily planner and when i have a panic/anxiety attack, i write the scale level down. i do this to see how the anxiety decreases and to assess which skills work and don't, and also to demarcate any patterns of activity/behavior that trigger the attacks (also what time of the day, etc.).

sorry if these suggestions sound stupid... but they do help me and maybe who knows? it may be helpful to someone reading this post i hope.

***

one of my major problems is that i abused alcohol to get through my panic attacks and eventually was going through 2 bottles of 100 proof stoli every 3 days. with my history of pancreatitis, i was going to eventually destroy my pancreas again. i am prescribed alprazolam (2mg x 3/day) and clonazepam (1mg x 2/day), mostly take the prescribed dosage but less if i can deal with the anxiety without the aid of medication. i had to make a decision to cut alcohol entirely. it hasn't been the easiest thing, but i've managed to make today the 11th day without alcohol since the last drop of stoli.

not only am i concerned about withdrawal symptoms, but i am more concerned about my tolerance levels for benzos, which has to be pretty high by now. does anyone have any suggestions for how i can reduce tolerance but not with the intention of quitting (quitting is a long-term goal for me) but for the sake of taking less medication.

if anyone can give me any kind of advice, it would be greatly appreciated.


thank you for everyones posts, they were helpful to me.

moon
 
I myself have played on and off with benzos for 20 years now. And there one hard monkey to get off your back. I been clean of them for 4 days now. I might go another day or a month but i break over and do them again but i do have aniexty. I went to the doctor and he put me on 4 a day 1 mg xanax .Im like man thats alot of benzos. talkin about a monkey on ur back.I smarter than that... Benzo i wish that i had never messed with them..if anybody can quit now do it but taper..
 
Now im 15 days into the withdrawels and I feel fine =) No muscle spasms anymore. I sleep like a baby and gets 8 hours asleep everynight. I stopped smoking cigarretes 3 days ago aswell (Was very easy for me to stop).

Im glad Im not addicted to em' benzoes anymore :D
 
^^^

Good to hear. The sleeping well is a really great sign.

And Juliemoonshine's post is a great example of what myself and others mean when we talk about good doctors ensuring that you learn other techniques for managing anxiety while you're on the benzos.
 
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If you are about to have a seizure tell someone immediately, lie down on the floor, put some pillows around you, and make sure your tongue isn't between your teeth. I have had quite a few seizures due to epilepsy and not withdrawals but they're still grand mal seizures and they can be very dangerous. People don't really die from the seizure but they can often get hurt or even die if they're driving, swimming, bathing, etc. Any time you start to feel that zoned out feeling that many people experience before a seizure, sit yourself down immediately. Once again, notify someone right away. Tell that person to roll you onto your side so that you can cough anything up if need be. If your seizure lasts more than five minutes or you begin having trouble breathing, have that person call 911 immediately.

Fortunately most seizures--even grand mal seizures--only last a few minutes tops, and although it sounds morbid it's a good thing that people eventually learn to identify the signs of when they're about to have one. I know I personally start to feel a very weird and intense sort of head rush and I'll often start slurring my speech moments before I seize. I never, ever remember the actual seizure itself but there are so many different kinds of seizures, some of which people even remain conscious for and don't even realize they're having one.

You need to get yourself to a doctor and have a program set up in order to taper yourself off of benzos based on the fact that you've had several seizures already. This is way too dangerous to do suddenly, okay? You absolutely need to consult a doctor and tell people close to you about these seizures. A doctor will do a battery of tests and help you detox in a safe manner. It's really the only way to keep yourself safe.

I hope you feel better and please be careful!
 
I've been on benzos, Valium mostly, for more than 40 years. By the time they were found to be addictive, I was 7 years and 40-100mg/day into them because my doc handed them out like candy. Since docs stopped doing that, I've been in w/d more times than I like to think about, but never for more than a few days because there's always somebody out there who'll write.

Made one serious effort at kicking maybe 20 yrs ago, was in w/d for a year, decided I couldn't take it any more, went back on them, and now I'm on them till I die. The worst part, the reason I quit quitting, was not knowing when or if the w/d would ever end. I was in what is called "post-withdrawal syndrome" (no benzos in the body at all for10 months) that isn't any more fun than present withdrawal syndrome, and it wouldn't quit. The longest documented case of post-withdrawal I am aware of lasted for TEN YEARS, and I've got better things to do with my head than put it there for a decade.

I'm probably a lot stupider than I was before I started taking the things and they're probably making me even stupider as we speak, but I'm officially a senior citizen, past caring, and have no intention of ever trying to kick again. Benzos are a bitch.
 
User Name Here said:
If you are about to have a seizure tell someone immediately, lie down on the floor, put some pillows around you, and make sure your tongue isn't between your teeth. I have had quite a few seizures due to epilepsy and not withdrawals but they're still grand mal seizures and they can be very dangerous. People don't really die from the seizure but they can often get hurt or even die if they're driving, swimming, bathing, etc. Any time you start to feel that zoned out feeling that many people experience before a seizure, sit yourself down immediately. Once again, notify someone right away. Tell that person to roll you onto your side so that you can cough anything up if need be. If your seizure lasts more than five minutes or you begin having trouble breathing, have that person call 911 immediately.

Fortunately most seizures--even grand mal seizures--only last a few minutes tops, and although it sounds morbid it's a good thing that people eventually learn to identify the signs of when they're about to have one. I know I personally start to feel a very weird and intense sort of head rush and I'll often start slurring my speech moments before I seize. I never, ever remember the actual seizure itself but there are so many different kinds of seizures, some of which people even remain conscious for and don't even realize they're having one.

You need to get yourself to a doctor and have a program set up in order to taper yourself off of benzos based on the fact that you've had several seizures already. This is way too dangerous to do suddenly, okay? You absolutely need to consult a doctor and tell people close to you about these seizures. A doctor will do a battery of tests and help you detox in a safe manner. It's really the only way to keep yourself safe.

I hope you feel better and please be careful!
Click to expand...

I am not sure if I understand your post? I haven't got any seizures and I'm benzo free now :)
 
I must've responded to another person who was talking about having seizures. I tend to read the first few posts in somewhat old threads without realizing that the thread itself has moved on to a different subject :P Pardon me for not reading carefully enough and realizing that I wasn't responding to the right person!

Congratulations on being benzo free! You should be really proud of yourself!
 
I didn't read all the posts but I got half way through.

It's great that you got off the benzos, but Cane2TheLeft had a very good point that you need to find what causes your anxiety before you consider yourself out of the woods.

I've had times where I was off benzos and was anxiety free for months and then bam out of nowhere I get a horrible panic attack that leads to more panic attacks and gets me back on benzos. I'm more aware of certain stressors that cause me anxiety now, but it's still difficult.

ALWAYS taper when you can, I had a grand mal seizure behind the wheel and I came to in a totaled car with an ambulance and a bunch of people and I had no idea what the hell had happened, it scared the shit out of me. It was from Xanax withdrawal and it was on the third day of going cold turkey (not voluntarily) . long story...

My psych tells me to go down .25 mgs of Klonopin every month or longer if it gets too uncomfortable. I'm at 2mgs a day now and I sometimes take a little more than I should, it's not easy for me to come off this shit after I've been on it for 4 years.

Anyway, I wish you luck, just be aware and try not to get back on the benzos and don't replace them with other drugs if you can avoid it.
 
Tomorrow it's 3 weeks since my last 10 mg dose. I still feel a little withdrawel and I'm starting to get cravings, but I am never going to use it at a regular basis again.

I still get a little muscle spasms and my anxiety is a little high, but I still feel alright and sleep 8 hours every night without a problem.

I am so glad I made this decision and isn't addicted to em' anymore :)
 
Consider yourself lucky, you decided to quit at a dose and duration of use that was manageable. If you ever slip and start taking them again, the withdrawals will be worse guaranteed. After quitting bezos for several months I found 150 30 mil temazepam capsules. Went through them in a month (that's 150 mils of temazepam per day!!!) I can't stress enough the fact that each w/d cycle gets worse and worse independent of how bad the backslide is. A site benzobuddies.com helped me drastically, it is sponsored by several doctors, one who devoted her life to finding the best way to taper and beat a benzo addiction. Even if you're clean now I would suggest visiting the site, since if you slip up it could mean entering what felt like to me a 24/7 dream that scared the hell out of me.

Thought I was schizophrenic, and when I closed my eyes and fell asleep, I had quasi-dreams that were so real and filled with anxiety that I had trouble sorting dream from reality for a month (some dreams were pleasant but all too real) - scientifically this is due to rebound REM sleep, which arises due to the very low REM periods of benzo induced sleep. So when you come off nearly your entire sleep cycle is REM, and your emotions and anxiety filter in.

I'm rambling but the point is you can't drop your guard or you may end up like some of us who have been in the never-ending psychotic dream. (I never had sever tremors or seizures due to only a month of use, although 150 mils of temazepam isn't a typical daily dose.)

One thing to note, once I came clear of w/d about 3-4 months after discontinuation, I experienced a divine mental clarity of purpose. If you look at the psychological archetypal hero journey, I descended into the abyss, fought and willed my way out to return as a newly enlightened hero (to myself).

I have to say despite the horrors of the w/d period, the slow climb out of the nightmare where anything could kill you and every flutter of leaves is a death omen, slowly moving into the light is a profound experience thats hard to verbalize better than "satan called, we're moving you from the seventh circle to heaven"

Please get as much retrospective knowledge about your w/d and climb out, so that you would rather die than experience it again - - like said above, use your positive experiences in the CT w/d to build a fiberglass screen reinforced with bulletproof glass and forged steel crossbars, so the burglar gives up and moves elsewhere.

I quit cold turkey (from a benzo hypnotic at HIGH doses) which most of all gave me complex vertigo, like I was being moved through universes and space time, and had mild persistent irrational anxiety.

But I havent touched a benzo for 2 years, and hate the idea of taking them again, to the point I get freaked out when people offer them to me. You couldnt pay me anything to touch another benzo.


I hope thats where you're headed opioten, because its smooth sailing afterwards :)
 
Consider yourself lucky, you decided to quit at a dose and duration of use that was manageable. If you ever slip and start taking them again, the withdrawals will be worse guaranteed. After quitting bezos for several months I found 150 30 mil temazepam capsules. Went through them in a month (that's 150 mils of temazepam per day!!!) I can't stress enough the fact that each w/d cycle gets worse and worse independent of how bad the backslide is. A site benzobuddies.com helped me drastically, it is sponsored by several doctors, one who devoted her life to finding the best way to taper and beat a benzo addiction. Even if you're clean now I would suggest visiting the site, since if you slip up it could mean entering what felt like to me a 24/7 dream that scared the hell out of me.

Thought I was schizophrenic, and when I closed my eyes and fell asleep, I had quasi-dreams that were so real and filled with anxiety that I had trouble sorting dream from reality for a month (some dreams were pleasant but all too real) - scientifically this is due to rebound REM sleep, which arises due to the very low REM periods of benzo induced sleep. So when you come off nearly your entire sleep cycle is REM, and your emotions and anxiety filter in.

I'm rambling but the point is you can't drop your guard or you may end up like some of us who have been in the never-ending psychotic dream. (I never had sever tremors or seizures due to only a month of use, although 150 mils of temazepam isn't a typical daily dose.)

One thing to note, once I came clear of w/d about 3-4 months after discontinuation, I experienced a divine mental clarity of purpose. If you look at the psychological archetypal hero journey, I descended into the abyss, fought and willed my way out to return as a newly enlightened hero (to myself).

I have to say despite the horrors of the w/d period, the slow climb out of the nightmare where anything could kill you and every flutter of leaves is a death omen, slowly moving into the light is a profound experience thats hard to verbalize better than "satan called, we're moving you from the seventh circle to heaven"

Please get as much retrospective knowledge about your w/d and climb out, so that you would rather die than experience it again - - like said above, use your positive experiences in the CT w/d to build a fiberglass screen reinforced with bulletproof glass and forged steel crossbars, so the burglar gives up and moves elsewhere.

I quit cold turkey (from a benzo hypnotic at HIGH doses) which most of all gave me complex vertigo, like I was being moved through universes and space time, and had mild persistent irrational anxiety.

But I havent touched a benzo for 2 years, and hate the idea of taking them again, to the point I get freaked out when people offer them to me. You couldnt pay me anything to touch another benzo.


I hope thats where you're headed opioten, because its smooth sailing afterwards :)
 
I am CT'ing from a temazepam (primarily) & alprazolam,,moderate habit..was prescribed 30x 30mg temaepam a month for like a solid year which i ended up piling a fuckload up.

It was not an every day all day thing but this past month, i used 150mg-210mg of temazepam or 4-6mg alprazolam just for sleep, and to get an appetite at night. Not dicksizing (not that thats anywhere near a high dose ocmpared to people I know) but just for a point of reference. Cause I was scared how withdrawals would be

i developed a high tolerance from using phenazepam when i was on methadone..but never really took benzos more than 2 weeks straight.

I would just take the benzos at night for the most part in 1 dose (until closer to the end of the month,..id be hurting a bit quicker.

Anyway..after a solid month straight with no taper I am not in horrible withdrawals..nowhere near benzo hell. Just have no appetite, shaking a lot, raised anxiety..i mean it sucks but after not sleeping for 2 days and nights the 3rd night i got like 6 hours..well see how the 4th night goes.

I honestly am already starting to feel better..the shaking is subsiding, the 1st two days/nights i literally could not lay still which was really annoying. but im glad im stopping now. that's all I got to say...I deal with h withdrawals pretty frequently so this is the last thing i want is a new habit
 
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