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Being with your partner all the time

somedud

Bluelighter
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Dec 8, 2010
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From a girls persepctive (my friend), how would you figure being in a relationship with someone you've been close friends with for years, but him being around ALL the time, and being dependent on the girl. By that I mean, not from the same city, therefore not knowing many people at all, and being more of a tag along to the women and her friends, also living in her house the majority of the time at the age of 19.

How do you think that would work out?
 
First things first. Don't hate. That being said, the 19 year old seems out of place in the picture you describe. However if the woman likes his company, then he's being great for her.

One thing for sure, you can just wait a little while. Watch what happens. Then tell us.
 
Ok, guy is 19, girl is how old if you don't mind me asking? When I was 19 I was living with my 17 year old girl and spent pretty much everyday together. She was my bestfriend and I was hers. We'd go hiking together, biking, she'd sit in on some of my college classes so she could find classes she liked, helped me study, etc. We enjoyed eachother's company completely and were always content with just being with eachother, until substance abuse came into play... What I'm trying to say is that when they're out with her friends, he may be playing the "role" of just another friend, not as her partner. I hope that makes sense.
 
I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. It depends on a few factors. If this bloke has just moved to a new city, I don't think it's that unusual for him to be spending a lot of time with his girlfriend's friends, if he doesn't know many people. Hopefully in time he'll start to develop his own circle of friends too.

Really, I think how it works out depends on what both people in the couple think. If they both love spending all their time together, then maybe this is just what they want. I think problems will arise if someone becomes resentful about the situation. Hopefully they can talk things through and work out a game plan before that happens. Like, the guy needs to get a job and contribute to rent/bills by a certain time, if he's not already, and that they get a boys/girls night out every so often, and so on.
 
Space away from each other works for most couples that lay their heads on the same bed.

I agree, that it isn't unusual to be a bit of a tag along with someone that has their own group of friends already well established.

A good pairing includes sharing time together and being supportive of each other.

Judge not, lest ye be judged. I believe in that.
 
Being around someone all the time doesn't usually last for long. But if someone just moved to the area, doesn't know anyone there, then it is totally understandable.
 
suffocating situation. eventually her and her friends will get sick of him being around
 
It would drive ME in-fucking-sane. Get a hobby! That's what I would think. lol I like my time to myself.

But, my sister and her husband are always together. They never do anything apart. I don't understand how, but they are happy. I guess it just depends on the person.

I need my own time to myself, to work out, to be away from the stupid annoying habits. Eh, probably why I will always be single. lol But, some people are more clingy and like to be around each other.
 
I guess I'm lucky in that I date my best friend. Apart from work we pretty much live out of each other's pockets. It helps that we like the same things. I don't mind going bra shopping where as she is happy to come to the pub and watch the football. She is the only person I know that I can be around 24/7
 
Like Busty, my husband is definitely my best mate, and while I love spending time with him, i also love going to a girlfriend's house and having a cup of something, or to spend the day making art - beading, painting, sewing. He has stuff he loves to do as well. I love coming home from these separate outings with news as to what i've been up to - showing him things i've made, photos i've taken, and I love hearing about a piece of technology he's built, or whatever. We do a heap of stuff together - exercise, explore the city (he's new to my town, so i'm enjoying showing it off a little), and other things - he even comes clothes shopping with me and I go to strange computer-part places that are like the soup-nazi kitchens but with hard-drives =D. In saying that there are just some things he likes that i'm not as keen about and vice versa. He, for instance, doesn't love making jewellry, and I don't particularly like building computers, so we also definitely have separate interests.

Really though, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, etc. <3

To the OP - the guy needs a bit of slack cut - he's new to a city, so is rightly relying on his partner for some guidance and to show him around - working will ensure he meets new people, which will definitely help. If he's going to slack off and just mooch around her house and live vicariously through her - then that's bad news.
 
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to the op, not personally knowing either parties aforementioned and their compatibility/personality types; its impossible to have an opinion. some people thrive and grow through consistent partnership, and others over time; feel trapped and smothered.

for me personally; as much as i look forward to and adore the time spent with my s/o; i equally respect one anothers time to be individuals and grow through personal experience; to the point of being aware of the loss of one anothers presence during vital times and wishing they were there (to then come together later and share in discussion once the heat of emotion has dissolved); as opposed to being alongside one another through every fault and hell. i love that we meet in the middle somewhere, sharing everything important, but also the best of ourselves.

im a very independent person; and thankfully my s/o is very much the same. its all dependent on personal needs and what works for you as couple. there are no rights nor wrongs.

...kytnism...:|
 
It does depend on the person. My boyfriend and I are together often, we enjoy some of the same things, but we could NOT spend all day every day together. We just moved in together a week ago and have been spending more time together (obviously) but sometimes he will go visit his friends, sometimes I will go visit my friends. I enjoy it when he's out doing something and I can just have my "alone time" too. It would drive me crazy if he was there ALL the time! But some people need more space than others, it depends on the people.
 
hahahahahahaha

my lover and i are inseparable.

we chat all day long while were both at work via gchat. we wake up with each other and chat our asses off until we depart for our day. our evening consists of rushing home to see each other. on the weekends we spend virtually every moment together. we can count the number of nights weve spent apart cuz there arent very many. its been many years, itl always be this way, and we love it.

dependent? naw, im a lifelong loner and she is most certainly a woman who can take full care of herself. the first day we met we talked for 14 hours without stopping. it more or less actually hasnt ever stopped, we just take "breaks" to acknowledge the world around us throughout the day.

we also celebrate a rather non traditional relationship by western standards, and have very loose borders on our relationship. i dont think we could possibly smother each other, were fully attentive and empathetic to the others needs and wants.
 
same for me, I spend all my days with my gf,etc.

but SOMETIMES, I kick her out to she goes see a friend, so I can enjoy some free time all alone...

but she let's me do everything I want, so there's no point in excluding her of anything...
 
Well i have to say when i am in a relationship i really try to be away from my gf as much as possible so we don't suffocate each other. If a girl is to clingy i eventually grow tired of her and ditch her, but thats my personality i need my space.
 
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