Being targeted by someone when you were an innocent bystander...

[RTrain]

...Of course I mean this in the social aspect. For instance, you are in a room with multiple people or involved in a conversation where a person has been embarrassed or is getting a hard time from another person in the room/conversation. Not being a confrontational person, you are sitting there not getting involved, just being a casual observer. Then the person receiving the criticism or embarrassment tries to deflect it all by targeting you with an insult or ridicule.

I had something like this happen to me recently and I truly lost a lot of respect for the person. Honestly I would have liked to knock them out barring the fact that we were at work and I can't stand to be fired over some nonsense opinion of someone I don't respect, so I shrugged it off. What happened was someone had been calling this guy out for being in a bad mood and acting pissy earlier in the day over a situation that did not call for it. So he deflects the criticism on himself by insulting my intelligence. He makes no attempt at to counter the person who initially called him out, even when that person said he was backing up their point by attacking me. Even after that he again takes a shot at me, not the other person.

This is not the only time I know similar things have happened to me.

Anyone else been in a situation similar to this?

I just find it so odd in our society that the people who get targeted are those who are some of the nicer people and very supportive to others. Its so easy for those with low self esteem to make slights to the people like that because this is little worry for a rebuttal that might bring them down, so its an easy way to make themselves feel better.

 

[T. Calderone]

Yeah, I've seen that happen before and out of frustration or embarrassment, the person lashed out at the wrong party. I guess like a misguided fight-or-flight reaction. Probably easier to snap at a more passive person because he knows calmer tempered people won't be as quick to argue back.

 

[NotaCaterpillar]

Yeah, its pretty shitty but its kinda like the whole husband hits wife, wife is angry but cant fight the husband and win so she kicks the dog thing. Kinda stupid analogy, but what im trying to say is that this person obviously is angry and wants to lash out/put someone else down so they feel better about themselves but instead of confronting the person who it should be directed at they pick someone who for whatever reason they consider less of a threat. Id do my best to ignore such people if I were you. Though I know its easier said than done.