Being Sober

[themdyaunome]

Hey all! Some of you may know me, most probably do not. I have been sober for a month now, after four long years of opiate(mainly heroin) and needle/drug abuse. Anything you could get a rush from....I wanted. It has been a month now, and I feel better physically. However, my xanax prescription was taken away, and I have turned to alcohol to deal with my problems. I may have abused benzos in the past, but now I realize how much they have helped me. I can barely go out of the house now without fear of being judged, used or mistreated. Many things in my past have attributed to this. I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say or ask. I am just interested in hearing about other people who are currently or recently have gone through this. Physically i feel great, although I am weaker and feel fatigued. However, I am eating a lot healthier and putting on weight. Mentally though, I feel trapped and alone, that at any moment I could be back on the street doing dope, etc. Recently I had a run in with the cops, which I have sober ever since. They even told me they have heard my name come up being associated with drugs. I do not doubt it. Most of the police officers know me by name.

 

[Mehm]

If you're drinking you aren't sober. Good job on kicking the heroin though. I would suggest you go to a 12 step meeting, get a sponsor, and work the steps. Not only will this keep you sober, it will also teach you how to deal with life so that you can be happy, joyous and free.

I abused drugs and alcohol almost daily for 15 years. It was the ONLY thing that got me to stop. I tried everything else and failed. Good luck man. Being an addict is a real mixed bag. If you use it to catapult you into a new life of true sobriety it can be the greatest blessing you'll ever have.

 

[Samadhi]

I think this might be better suited to The Dark Side, i'll go ahead and move it over.

TDS mods - I hope that's ok

 

[Missykins]

When you say that your Xanax script was taken away, what do you mean exactly? How and why were they prescribed?

It is true, if you are drinking, you aren't sober. Were you being treated by a mental health professional? I believe that you should be.

 

[herbavore]

When you feel mentally trapped and alone you are indeed in a very vulnerable place and I congratulate you on reaching out. Not trading one addiction for another (alcohol, benzos) is in your best interests so dealing with that right now before anything gets out of hand should be a priority. It is perfectly natural to feel anxiety. Learning coping mechanisms for anxiety and outright fear is a very empowering feeling. We live in a world that increasingly trains us to think there is a pill that can take away anything unpleasant in life. The mind itself is the true pill. Fearing that people are judging you and feeling afraid to go out is a terrible feeling but it is only a feeling and, as such, it can be trained out of your thinking. Are you getting any help for this?

Try to find a helpful therapist or psychologist that can give you tools to use when you feel overwhelmed by fear. You do not have to live with those feelings forever.There are very effective therapies out there that are non-drug.

Much love to you in these early days. Things will get easier.

 

[Dave]

^ This. Anxiety is an incredibly difficult thing to deal with on your own, and medication (as you're now seeing) only helps the symptoms. Take away the pills, and you're right back to square one at best.

I've struggled with anxiety for most of my life, and while I'm not 100% anxiety free, since getting help I now have the tools to deal with it when it flares up. Non-pharmaceutical treatments can be very effective, and are far less trouble in the long run-- although they do take more work in the short run.