I have been clean for almost 11 months my family and I things that I need a little help so I have been going to the doctor and trying new antidepressants, and finding that they don't work, and then trying a new one only to have the same result. So far I have tried lexapro, buproprian, Zoloft, and effexor. A lot of my problems mostly lies with fatigue what I get into these doom for depression slums that can be hard to get out of. Is there something else out there I should try? or should I do something else and just stay away from these types of medication cuz sometimes I have the feeling that these are not what's going to help the problem I have, because I am a recovering drug addict. Its not that they don't work but I feel like maybe I did so much damage that I can't tell if they do anything cuz everytime I try a new one it seems as if it's the same faint feeling that I can't tell the difference between any of them and can't really tell the difference while being on them or off of them.8(
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H&R Moderators: streaM Freak
Being clean with a Little help
- Thread starter aerne210
- Start date
bdomihizayka
Bluelighter
You have variables in your equation. You're on kratom- that could be the sole cause of your depression, and if so, no amount of antidepressant is going to save you until you get that shit out of your system. Some people get depressed and anxious on opiates from chronic use. You need to allow your brain to restore itself to complete homeostasis before you start trying to analyze your mental health situation.... because until then, you cannot really know for sure where this is coming from or what to do about it (I'm willing to bet you'd feel 10000x's better off of the kratom).
Bdomi, thank you, this is right on the money. I Also think this is my problem when it comes to assessing my feelings and where they are coming. But I am only on kratom because I quit a habit of shooting heroin for 4&1/2 years, it will be a year of sobriety on January 6th, 2016. It bad been my crutch, because I didn't wanna get on the gov't meds (suboxone, methadone, etc.) It has been doin it's thing and got me through the darkest of it. I just don't know how to quit.
manboychef
Bluelighter
The way you quit is to slowly taper down from the dose you are on, and then prepare for some extremely mild withdrawal. I take kratom to help with chronic pain, however I don't use it everyday, and I take breaks.
I have a song that always makes me happy when I hear it.....hopefully it has the same effect on you (Ie...shit eating grin and money maker shaking)
I'm from syracuse orignally where in new york you at?
I have a song that always makes me happy when I hear it.....hopefully it has the same effect on you (Ie...shit eating grin and money maker shaking)
I'm from syracuse orignally where in new york you at?
I have never heard this song before, but you're right, its pretty effin funky :D I like it. Thanks for the advice, Comfortably, I take 20g-25g a day. What should I cut down to at a time? In week intervals right? Also, just always been curious of this, how do you take your kratom and do you purchase in-store or online? OMG!!! I am from east Syracuse, small world lol:D
manboychef
Bluelighter
Lol! I am from jamesville dewitt area. Yeah I met more people from new york here in florida than in newyork.
ever go to the bottle return in the valley that lets you throw a dart that can get you double the return on your cans and bottles? I hit that bullseye so many times.
What you want to do is just go down like 10g a week. then when you get to five grams, go down 1g a week. The withdrawals are pretty mild for this. The biggest challenge is what I posted about in your other thread. Dealing with being you and not using. It is a wonderful yet fucked up world out there, find what brings you joy!
I toss and wash, or I make tea...the act of making it is relaxing. I order it online in quarter pound amounts. I try not to go above 10g a day...also be wary of extracts. I am a fan of a mix of red vein sumatra and bali.
ever go to the bottle return in the valley that lets you throw a dart that can get you double the return on your cans and bottles? I hit that bullseye so many times.
What you want to do is just go down like 10g a week. then when you get to five grams, go down 1g a week. The withdrawals are pretty mild for this. The biggest challenge is what I posted about in your other thread. Dealing with being you and not using. It is a wonderful yet fucked up world out there, find what brings you joy!
I toss and wash, or I make tea...the act of making it is relaxing. I order it online in quarter pound amounts. I try not to go above 10g a day...also be wary of extracts. I am a fan of a mix of red vein sumatra and bali.
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I know right? I always thought that way strange. I have before, then we an 8cent bottle return in my town lol, but that actually caught on fire like a year ago, the one in my town. Crazy. I drive through Jamesville DeWitt a lot cause I am taking a few classes at OCC, or at least trying to. I think I'll check out some list of ideas for hobbies/things to enjoy. Maybe I'll find something new that could be better. OOOOO! Gross, I cant handle the toss a wash, I mix the powder with a small amount of water and just chase that with something strong (lemonade, soda...) Those are great strains, my favorite is the white vein or the mange da. What website? Also what let you down to Florida, if you don't mind me asking? Other than these incredibly depressing winters here at home lol
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manboychef
Bluelighter
you should edit out that vender on your post...its against regulations.
I love the winters. I used to get all bundled up and sit on my porch with my dog and watch blizzards roll by. There is also something very profound about climbing a hillside on a sunny day after a fresh snowfall and looking out over everything and just taking in that natural state of beauty. All the trees are bare and gray, except for dottings of evergreens here and there. Chimneys billow out the warmth and family togetherness felt at the hearth...its like a norman rockwell painting.
Stick to your guns things will be sunny and you can smile again soon. Remember bloom where you are planted.
I came to florida to be closer to family and to kick my IV opiate habit. There are tons of sub doctors down here...so it took four years, and now I don't use opiates. I thought about coming back, but my family needs me.
I love the winters. I used to get all bundled up and sit on my porch with my dog and watch blizzards roll by. There is also something very profound about climbing a hillside on a sunny day after a fresh snowfall and looking out over everything and just taking in that natural state of beauty. All the trees are bare and gray, except for dottings of evergreens here and there. Chimneys billow out the warmth and family togetherness felt at the hearth...its like a norman rockwell painting.
Stick to your guns things will be sunny and you can smile again soon. Remember bloom where you are planted.
I came to florida to be closer to family and to kick my IV opiate habit. There are tons of sub doctors down here...so it took four years, and now I don't use opiates. I thought about coming back, but my family needs me.
Oops! I cut it out, thank you. Also I was wondering if it was against the regulations to use past tense in a certain manner. I know it self incriminating to say certain things, but I have said thing, writing like,
"I quit shooting heroin"
"use to use dope/opiates"
Do you know if that's the same thing as not using "SWIM" or "my dog"?
No you are definitely right, there is an incredibly beauty about the winters that you cannot find anywhere, but after 21 years, you develop the things you love and dislike about it. I'm always embracing the beauty that come with nature. I really really really like that, "bloom where you are planted" that's an amazing metaphor
That's awesome, it's a big step, but you seem to be a very responsible and well put together kind of guy. Plus, there are always vacations and trip. So you did a sub program? It was a process of 4 years, like 4 years getting off by using sub?
"I quit shooting heroin"
"use to use dope/opiates"
Do you know if that's the same thing as not using "SWIM" or "my dog"?
No you are definitely right, there is an incredibly beauty about the winters that you cannot find anywhere, but after 21 years, you develop the things you love and dislike about it. I'm always embracing the beauty that come with nature. I really really really like that, "bloom where you are planted" that's an amazing metaphor
That's awesome, it's a big step, but you seem to be a very responsible and well put together kind of guy. Plus, there are always vacations and trip. So you did a sub program? It was a process of 4 years, like 4 years getting off by using sub?
manboychef
Bluelighter
It was actually a four year, two suboxone programs with rip roaring IV cocaine and heroin habits in between. If I only had heroin I would do it, but I always wanted some coke in there too. I ended up in the psychward a number of times to detox...and finally went to a two month rehab and followed it up with therapy and a lot of extreme introspective thought. Worst withdrawals was 16mg a day subutex (IV) and getting kicked out of my program because I came up positive for cocaine and benzos all the time.
I would suggest a mix of white vein, and red vein borneo. The red will give you a boost of mood, and the white vein will give you the energy and combat the sedation of the red.
Take magnesium with it. It helps it work better.
Ever go to clarks reservation. You should check that place out. Go off the beaten path and find the cliffs. I used to walk my dog lucky up there all the time. Also, limestone creek in fayetteville manlius area has an amazing path that leads to a reservoir. Nothing like skipping stones among the tigerlillies of spring. When I was with me ex we would fight a lot, I don't like to fight, so I would just grab the dog and strike out into nature. Green lakes is pretty alright too. There is a path that goes all the way around it, not to mention a beach there that is actually okay. The day I was getting on a plane to come here, I shot my last bag of dope and went with my cousin (who is a recovering addict) her son, and my best buddy to jamesville resevior for one last swim and frolic...that was a really hard goodbye but all of us knew that I needed to get on out of that place if I was ever going to go back to being the guy they knew.
Honestly don't worry about incriminating yourself. Talk freely and openly, but follow the sites rules. They law is not worried about what you have done or what you are doing at the moment because it is so hard to ascertain the truthfulness of the post. Just steer clear of talking about murders, human trafficking, drug manufacturing, drug dealing, and sex crimes which you participated in (not that you did any of those things) because those are just not good policy to talk about. If you need to get those things off your chest, I would suggest going to AA or NA. You can't be incriminated there for talking through those things.
I would suggest a mix of white vein, and red vein borneo. The red will give you a boost of mood, and the white vein will give you the energy and combat the sedation of the red.
Take magnesium with it. It helps it work better.
Ever go to clarks reservation. You should check that place out. Go off the beaten path and find the cliffs. I used to walk my dog lucky up there all the time. Also, limestone creek in fayetteville manlius area has an amazing path that leads to a reservoir. Nothing like skipping stones among the tigerlillies of spring. When I was with me ex we would fight a lot, I don't like to fight, so I would just grab the dog and strike out into nature. Green lakes is pretty alright too. There is a path that goes all the way around it, not to mention a beach there that is actually okay. The day I was getting on a plane to come here, I shot my last bag of dope and went with my cousin (who is a recovering addict) her son, and my best buddy to jamesville resevior for one last swim and frolic...that was a really hard goodbye but all of us knew that I needed to get on out of that place if I was ever going to go back to being the guy they knew.
Honestly don't worry about incriminating yourself. Talk freely and openly, but follow the sites rules. They law is not worried about what you have done or what you are doing at the moment because it is so hard to ascertain the truthfulness of the post. Just steer clear of talking about murders, human trafficking, drug manufacturing, drug dealing, and sex crimes which you participated in (not that you did any of those things) because those are just not good policy to talk about. If you need to get those things off your chest, I would suggest going to AA or NA. You can't be incriminated there for talking through those things.
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Right right, I would be surprised if there was a park/forest that you can think of, around here, that I haven't been to haha. It's just cause that's my shit, if I am in the mood for anything, it would be to go outside. But yes, Clark's Res is deff my favorite. When you go to the cliffs/huge rocks that look over interstate 81, did you check out the cave? You can go pretty far down, if you have the right equiptment, it's like a couple hour adventure. Not too fun if you're not fond of tight small spaces. Also, sweet job on the quitting, that's a lot better of a story then most. I feel like I could never handle those types of goodbyes.
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
I would suggest hobbies and activities you enjoy, exercise, and staying away from antidepressants, unless you have been on one which worked for you in the past.
Captain H,
I am trying, but that is my problem, there seems to be nothing that I enjoy. Anything I used to love I just don't care for. The only thing I really want to do or want in general is just to want something, anything, to begin with
I am trying, but that is my problem, there seems to be nothing that I enjoy. Anything I used to love I just don't care for. The only thing I really want to do or want in general is just to want something, anything, to begin with
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
It's common to not be able to find pleasure in things (this is called anhedonia). It will pass with time
Start small. Get a small piece-count puzzle and try putting it together. Watch a new TV show. Take a short walk outdoors. These are the little things that can lead to things so much greater down the road. :D
manboychef
Bluelighter
^^^+1 for CH's post. It took me quite a while to find things that I enjoy doing. I still have a hard time filling my days. Also, sadness and loneliness are still going to be a problem in recovery....I still feel sad quite a bit of the time, but having a hobby actually helps me to get through it/
cj
Bluelight Crew
Don't lose track of the fact that you have 11 months off drugs! That's reason enough to be extremely proud of yourself and frankly your family should be thanking whatever gods they believe in that you are so strong. I don't have much advice in the depression area because I am cureently on the same roller coaster with SSRi SNRI atypical anti psychotics ect. But I will say that I think finding a good therapist is just as key as finding the right medication.
manboychef
Bluelighter
I have a very good therapist. Crimsonjunk is right. There are a lot of things that happened to me, and that I witnessed (especially in active use) that I just needed to talk through. One stands out in my mind. I picked up a guy and his girlfriend and we had some coke and dope. I didn't look at her, as I was getting my shot ready....he and she were as well. After I did mine, I look back and realize she is far along in her pregnancy...that image always stuck with me. Broke my heart. Talking about it with a therapist has been incredibly helpful in letting it go.