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Being a general bastard

StrutterGear

StrutterGear

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 11, 2010
Messages
2,414
Location
London
Okay, I'm actually a nice guy. I spoil my missus, I love her to bits and we depend on eachother for alot. We do alot together, and are setting about discovering every inch of London since we started university this year.

I'm 19 and she's also nearly 19.

I'm punching above my weight, so why do I still have urge to cheat? I have everything I need in a bird, and I know she wouldn't ever do me wrong. Is there something wrong with me?

I originally went to uni wanting to get around alot and not be tied down, but we got together in the first month of being there, 30th October. I've had chances to cheat when I go back to my parents home in Essex, but have refused to hurt her like that. I'd be devestated if we broke up, why am I doing this to myself?

Ive figured I'm just ranting.
 
You're 19. It's rare for someone that age to be comfortable with the idea of settling down. Until you are, you're going to have the natural desire to experiment and experience different people. I'd say it's pretty normal.
 
That's the thing man, I'm years beyond my age both mentally and physically. I only turned 19 in January and I'm looking at saving for a mortgage already. I wana settle down, but I've got that inner fuckup in my head who looks for the chance to ruin the relationship. It's ridiculous.
 
I think that most of us tend to want relationships just because we can't handle being alone. Everything can be right in a relationship, and it may make sense to continue as you have on a rational level. It kinda seems like maybe the spark is dieing out for you, man. Your PEA levels (a phenylethylamine hormone/neurotransmitter) are likely dropping, so your partner doesn't get you as "high". You are probably at a place where the relationship can either fizzle out or hop on the fast track to marriage. Can you see yourself marrying this girl? If not, get out now. If you think that marriage is a real possibility then pull your head out of your fucking ass. If she means that much to you that you would spend the rest of your life with her, then its because she has more to offer you than a few minutes of pleasure on a regular basis, and no amount of strange pussy will make up for her loss.
 
^ It's not that I can't handle being alone, I've had plenty before my current one but none as good. She's not just a bird I keep around for a shag, I do genuinely love her. We both agreed no kids or engagement or any shit like that till after University. My best mate recently got a quick engagement and it ruined our friendship (our group, 6 of us now do not speak to him). We've both got our education as first priority, she's got her mind set on doing well in university which I find inspiring

. It's just... fuck man I dunno. I wana get out there and sample London's women. I'd never find one like her again though. You can see what I mean about me being a bastard, I love her but I wana fuck other women. Sounds even worse when I put it like that.
 
Like GenericMind put it, you're only 19, and you may be wise beyond your years, okay, well, maybe you're 23 in your maturity level. Still not young enough to settle down if you ask me.

Part of going to college/uni is, in my opinion, spending time with/having sex with different types of people and figuring out who you work with emotionally/spiritually as well as sexually.

Just my opinion, I went to college at age 18 already in a relationship and when that ended I was behind all my peers, and didn't have a steady girlfriend until 18 months ago, I've since finished undergrad.

You will learn so much about yourself during college man, don't sweat the small stuff.
 
Getting a depressed overthinking this shit too much, and some other stuff...

Gonna get some sleep, prolly feel better in the morning. Feel a bit lousy, all this stuff on my plate isnt actually anything compared to some of the shit I've read tonight. Stay safe everyone, g'night.
 
StrutterGear said:
That's the thing man, I'm years beyond my age both mentally and physically. I only turned 19 in January and I'm looking at saving for a mortgage already. I wana settle down, but I've got that inner fuckup in my head who looks for the chance to ruin the relationship. It's ridiculous.
Click to expand...

Every 19 year old thinks that they are beyond their age. You should take GMs words to heart.

Not many 19 year olds are ready to settle down. Perhaps you should get out there and have some fun.
 
StrutterGear said:
Okay, I'm actually a nice guy. I spoil my missus, I love her to bits and we depend on eachother for alot. We do alot together, and are setting about discovering every inch of London since we started university this year.

I'm 19 and she's also nearly 19.

I'm punching above my weight, so why do I still have urge to cheat? I have everything I need in a bird, and I know she wouldn't ever do me wrong. Is there something wrong with me?

I originally went to uni wanting to get around alot and not be tied down, but we got together in the first month of being there, 30th October. I've had chances to cheat when I go back to my parents home in Essex, but have refused to hurt her like that. I'd be devestated if we broke up, why am I doing this to myself?

Ive figured I'm just ranting.
Click to expand...

Why would you do something against your intentions? You really have put yourself in this position by choice. Best you approach your gf, and talk things through, before you do something stupid... like cheat. If you really care for her, you'll do whats going to hurt her the least.
 
Hey man chill out! Your not like an asshole cuz ur horny and want to experiment with other women. Its normal at your age. Just cuz ur "so much older than your age" doesn't mean your so much older than your age. Putting money down for a mortgage dont mean shit. lol. Your funny =)

neway, lots of people I know make arrangements with their bf/gf for stuff like this. They say its ok if they want to experiement with other people sometimes. Cuz both of them know that its natural and are honest with each-other. If u guys really do love each-other, youll stick together for more reasons than just sex. So so what if u have sex with dif people? So what if shed does? Just dont go into detail about the encounters with each-other lol. Anyway, talk to her about how u feel.
 
StrutterGear said:
. It's just... fuck man I dunno. I wana get out there and sample London's women. I'd never find one like her again though. You can see what I mean about me being a bastard, I love her but I wana fuck other women. Sounds even worse when I put it like that.
Click to expand...

Your fucking brainwashed for thinking your a bastard cuz of this. Your a bastard if u hurt her. You havnt hurt her. U are not a bastard just cuz u have natural human urges. Its what u do with those urges that counts. Also, as I said before, she probably feeling the same way, being 18 n all. Why dont u guys figure out something, say lets go fucking crazy and fuck everything that walks for a year and then meet back up? I dunno, lol something like that.
 
Yes, you aren't a bastard until you hurt her. Don't do that though. Having these thoughts is relatively normal. If you act on them, then you're an asshole.

Does she satisfy all your sexual needs/desires? Do you have a fetish that she just doesn't get? Do you want to try more? Do you have sex enough?
Besides another girl, what else is it that you want in sex? Maybe you want to do more with her. Maybe try talking to her about trying new things in bed. That might spice it up a bit and make it more interesting and then you won't be thinking about anyone new and different.
 
Yeah... you're just young. I don't think you're a bastard. But if you really don't think you're ready for commitment it might be better to end things before she gets hurt. If you're feeling this way, it says something.
 
As everybody said, there's nothing wrong with feeling like wanting to have sex beyond the couple.
No matter what age, when we all see someone we are attracted to, we know that, if we didnt have moral/practical/whatever restraints, we'd jump right on them at the first chance (moreso if we're a hormonal young adult).
But we dont. You're no different and you have all the instruments to behave, if so you choose.

Also, I dont really see why everybody is saying to end with your gal. If you love her, why should you? You're not ready to settle down? Just dont, yet. And go on exploring your relationship and enjoy it. No reason why marry or leave. That's nonsense.

But if you decide to stay with her, either be faithful or talk to her about what you feel. But dont go behind her back. That's not a sign of love, and you should cut the selfishness and let her go.

PS: 99% of post-teen agers say they are old beyond their years. It comes with the package.
We ALL did say that at one point or another.
 
StrutterGear said:
That's the thing man, I'm years beyond my age both mentally and physically. I only turned 19 in January and I'm looking at saving for a mortgage already. I wana settle down, but I've got that inner fuckup in my head who looks for the chance to ruin the relationship. It's ridiculous.
Click to expand...

its natural,we are designed to have as many childred as possible with as many women as possible.Thats the way it is,there are some that resist and some that dont,both ways have nice things in them but I choose to resist and dont regret it but if you dont,nobody can really blame you,we are all just animals
 
$ublimaze said:
Your fucking brainwashed for thinking your a bastard cuz of this. Your a bastard if u hurt her. You havnt hurt her. U are not a bastard just cuz u have natural human urges. Its what u do with those urges that counts.
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This. (Not so much the rest of the post. But this.)
 
Who says you are gonna be together forever? Lol!

I had a steady boyfriend for 2.5 years between 18-21 years of age. I still got out after that and broadened my horizons in regards to experiencing variety in the opposite sex (still doing so as I approach the ripe old age of 26). While I loved him in a profound sense, I certainly wasn't in the market for a life partner - but regardless of this, the relationship did teach me quite a lot of things about myself & partnerships more broadly, and provided plenty of support and companionship throughout its course. Nothing lasts forever when you're 19, rest assured, so I'd really stress less & just take one day at a time while enjoying the love you have right now....
 
GuiltySpark said:
Have you ever considered maybe you are not meant to be monogamous?
Click to expand...

This is a point well worth considering at length.

Also, I was 19 when I settled down.

I can't even begin to explain what happens when a person thinks he or she is ready to settle down at 19...........

if she is, that's one thing.......

but if she discovers she wasn't ready

she can cause a lot of havoc.

I will be 52 on Saturday. I married when I was 19 and had my first child when I was 20. I do not regret my children, nor my marriage, but I have regrets, and I have issues.

Be very careful.
 
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