infectedmushroom
Bluelighter
Yours is an absolutely wonderful and captivating story, mgs. I loved reading it and i'm so happy that you've found something which has helped you. This kind of thing is the sort of evidence that the world needs to read.
-
-
Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat
Behaviors That Brought Me To Iboga --Opiates, Amphetamine, Others - Experienced
- Thread starter Morninggloryseed
- Start date
Morninggloryseed
Bluelight Crew
I appreciate you commenting Dondante and I miss our regular chats. I am working very hard to be at the point where I accept every word from another as a chance to reevaluate, and a challenge for me to defend my position, or open my mind to the idea it was wrong. A month ago or so I was telling people that I'll be opiate free for at last the next decade, only the perfect storm could change where I am at. And when I (re)read Tobala's report my immediate thoughts were....'well he didn't take enough' and then I thought, "well it doesn't sound like he prepared months in advance for it as I did, maybe that is why, etc."
Now I am at the point where I do accept that ibogaine is FUCKING AMAZING and does work....but it still requires the user to operate heavy machinery. Ibogaine can be the grand reset button (with the right dose) but at some point the user has to accept responsibility for their own path. Ibogaine cannot pilot the ship forever.....and who would want it too?
I can't speak for others but my ibogaine experience began with every trip I ever had....they all set the template and the mood. LSD, DMT, 1001 research chemicals, the whole lot were all 'training' for me. Ibogaine came into my life not just to free me from the conviction I had that my life was not worth anything without opiates....it came into my life to plant a seed in my brain that is growing, and I will work every day to continue nurturing it.
After the seed was planted and sprouted, I went on a 4 week period of 'reintroduction' surrounded by family who provided love and support and allowed me to just be, but also wanted to hear of my experience...and talking about it allowed me to rethink it all, look at where I am at, where others like me got too, and really take in the great divide between where I wanted to be, where I could be, and where I as at. In short, this was for me the 'follow up therapy' that every ibogaine practitioner says is NECESSARY for success. Without it, ibogaine is just as much a crap-shoot as taking LSD or any other psychedelic.
Then my oldest and dearest friend, sister, soul mate, etc....flew me out to sunny CA to remind me further, and to show me by example that working hard to be the best I can be will work...she showed me by simply being herself. The she reminded me of the fact that I turned her on to psychedelics when we were VERY YOUNG adults, and it changed where she wanted her life to lead...and man has that woman done/is doing SO MUCH.....and she reminded me that I turn on everyone I know, I always have, no one has ever had buyer's remorse...and maybe there is something more to it than I 'just like to trip.' I needed her affirmation. I am working to make all of those around me 'matter' but for so long, her opinion of myself was all I ever cared about. That she justified my path at that moment was probably more of a +4 than even the ibogaine.
The trip to CA showed me the life I want to live is all around me. Be it in CA, or where I am now, all I need to do is practice to better myself, keep the faith in the things I know to be true, share the knowledge I have learned, do not engage in bullshit, and with good intentions, all life around me will unfold in ways I could never foresee. It has happened everyday since March 3rd, it gets stronger every day, and it has only begun. I know I will have pitfalls they are challenges along the way I will need to bridge in order to make the path I am on stronger. And every pitfall I overtake is a lesson I can share with those around me who need to hear it.
I know I am human, subject to the same fears and excesses anyone else is. But I also know the seed planted in my brain is all I ever will need again and as long as I work to continue on this path....nothing will every change the way I see things.
The decade I spend in love with opiates and death was a necessary path I took, the reasons of which are still not clear....but I know it all happened for a very good reason and I would not change a thing. I also know every reason and every behavior pattern in my brain that made that life the one I wanted to live are no longer relevant to me today, I work hard to make it that way tomorrow, and I know everything is going to come out rosy for me.
Now I am at the point where I do accept that ibogaine is FUCKING AMAZING and does work....but it still requires the user to operate heavy machinery. Ibogaine can be the grand reset button (with the right dose) but at some point the user has to accept responsibility for their own path. Ibogaine cannot pilot the ship forever.....and who would want it too?
I can't speak for others but my ibogaine experience began with every trip I ever had....they all set the template and the mood. LSD, DMT, 1001 research chemicals, the whole lot were all 'training' for me. Ibogaine came into my life not just to free me from the conviction I had that my life was not worth anything without opiates....it came into my life to plant a seed in my brain that is growing, and I will work every day to continue nurturing it.
After the seed was planted and sprouted, I went on a 4 week period of 'reintroduction' surrounded by family who provided love and support and allowed me to just be, but also wanted to hear of my experience...and talking about it allowed me to rethink it all, look at where I am at, where others like me got too, and really take in the great divide between where I wanted to be, where I could be, and where I as at. In short, this was for me the 'follow up therapy' that every ibogaine practitioner says is NECESSARY for success. Without it, ibogaine is just as much a crap-shoot as taking LSD or any other psychedelic.
Then my oldest and dearest friend, sister, soul mate, etc....flew me out to sunny CA to remind me further, and to show me by example that working hard to be the best I can be will work...she showed me by simply being herself. The she reminded me of the fact that I turned her on to psychedelics when we were VERY YOUNG adults, and it changed where she wanted her life to lead...and man has that woman done/is doing SO MUCH.....and she reminded me that I turn on everyone I know, I always have, no one has ever had buyer's remorse...and maybe there is something more to it than I 'just like to trip.' I needed her affirmation. I am working to make all of those around me 'matter' but for so long, her opinion of myself was all I ever cared about. That she justified my path at that moment was probably more of a +4 than even the ibogaine.
The trip to CA showed me the life I want to live is all around me. Be it in CA, or where I am now, all I need to do is practice to better myself, keep the faith in the things I know to be true, share the knowledge I have learned, do not engage in bullshit, and with good intentions, all life around me will unfold in ways I could never foresee. It has happened everyday since March 3rd, it gets stronger every day, and it has only begun. I know I will have pitfalls they are challenges along the way I will need to bridge in order to make the path I am on stronger. And every pitfall I overtake is a lesson I can share with those around me who need to hear it.
I know I am human, subject to the same fears and excesses anyone else is. But I also know the seed planted in my brain is all I ever will need again and as long as I work to continue on this path....nothing will every change the way I see things.
The decade I spend in love with opiates and death was a necessary path I took, the reasons of which are still not clear....but I know it all happened for a very good reason and I would not change a thing. I also know every reason and every behavior pattern in my brain that made that life the one I wanted to live are no longer relevant to me today, I work hard to make it that way tomorrow, and I know everything is going to come out rosy for me.
Hey OP. Do you have a moment for some questions?
I got the iboga capsules which are reported at 15% alkaloids so 300mg cap = 45mg. Not sure if this is accurate or the manufacturer is truthful. I found it worked very well as an anti anxiety/depressant for a while as it seemed to work well as an SRI.
However when i breached 250mg border i would get this weird anxious sensation like my consciousness was depressed or limited in a very unpleasant and scary way. I understand it is a dissociative but my understanding of these was that its real effects in higher dosages should be a somewhat pleasant sensation with trails etc, which i didn't find to be the case at all.
Do you think my issue may be over stimulation of Serotonin for some reason which might cause the anxiety?
Additionally taking about 150mg equivalent of alkaloids (3 -4 caps per day) over 2 weeks didnt seem to have any effect on my Kratom tolerance at all even taking the Kratom with the Iboga. This was surprising since some protocols for dirty maintenance indicate a large reduction in opiate tolerance at even the first dose of 50mg or so of active alkaloids.
Im not sure what im doing wrong... Anyways I had to eventually stop due to the NOR chem version buildup causing daily anxiety after the two weeks..
I got the iboga capsules which are reported at 15% alkaloids so 300mg cap = 45mg. Not sure if this is accurate or the manufacturer is truthful. I found it worked very well as an anti anxiety/depressant for a while as it seemed to work well as an SRI.
However when i breached 250mg border i would get this weird anxious sensation like my consciousness was depressed or limited in a very unpleasant and scary way. I understand it is a dissociative but my understanding of these was that its real effects in higher dosages should be a somewhat pleasant sensation with trails etc, which i didn't find to be the case at all.
Do you think my issue may be over stimulation of Serotonin for some reason which might cause the anxiety?
Additionally taking about 150mg equivalent of alkaloids (3 -4 caps per day) over 2 weeks didnt seem to have any effect on my Kratom tolerance at all even taking the Kratom with the Iboga. This was surprising since some protocols for dirty maintenance indicate a large reduction in opiate tolerance at even the first dose of 50mg or so of active alkaloids.
Im not sure what im doing wrong... Anyways I had to eventually stop due to the NOR chem version buildup causing daily anxiety after the two weeks..
Morninggloryseed
Bluelight Crew
The factors being the content of the pills, your personal background and personal experience with visionary plants...numerous things could be at play. Rather than speculate aloud, I will invite you to IM me. I have it on now and will leave it on for the morning.
morninggloryseed @ aim is on now if you wish to chat.
morninggloryseed @ aim is on now if you wish to chat.
Morninggloryseed
Bluelight Crew
Thank you. It is still a great story. New chapters being written now as I am moving back west before the end of the month. Friends, lovers, it's all coming up Rosey.
Whizzcomp
Greenlighter
I really interesting story and can't wait for the next part.
*Love*Lite*
Bluelight Crew
Hooray!! I love happy endings 
I am so happy for you MGS. Keep on truckin brother, keep your head up... the worst is behind you now. Love and Light
I am so happy for you MGS. Keep on truckin brother, keep your head up... the worst is behind you now. Love and Light Quantum Mind
Greenlighter
Wow bud. I've got chills and goosebumps from reading this! You just gave me some hope and lit a light in this dark period I'm going through. I have so much in common (been taking prescription amph since 17, experienced a variety of psychoactives, lately been going down a dark road with a meth habit). However I'm only perhaps a quarter down the road you went (luckily never really experienced with opiates). You made me realise the dangerous path I'm descending, made me think for a second about my situation, that actually it is possible to change, that I'm not set in stone, that turning around sooner than later could save me from tremendous suffering.
I thank you for this enlightening thread.
I thank you for this enlightening thread.
Morninggloryseed
Bluelight Crew
You are too kind. Thank you for the confirmation as to why I write about my experiences.
I think it is very important to write about ibogaine especially, even if it doesn't please many that I didn't take it in a clinic. I appreciate your words and may Allah bless you in your Jihad.
It works and worked. I have been through the ringer lately as far as wrong turns and the one constant is I don't crave opiates. Yay ibogaine. Praise God for the miracle of iboga! Basse.
I think it is very important to write about ibogaine especially, even if it doesn't please many that I didn't take it in a clinic. I appreciate your words and may Allah bless you in your Jihad.
It works and worked. I have been through the ringer lately as far as wrong turns and the one constant is I don't crave opiates. Yay ibogaine. Praise God for the miracle of iboga! Basse.
Last edited:
Morninggloryseed
Bluelight Crew
I tried to wait till the one year anniversary day to bump this...I consider it the prayer that led to the answers...but my excitement got the best of me....Nearly one year and still opiate free. Yay for me.
Hiltoniano
Bluelighter
^^dude that's super good to hear, I have followed this thread from essentially the start, its so cool to see the journey, and I really do think that this experience is something that should be heard about by people, so they can at least know this kinda stuff is possible. Keep it up MGS you the man.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Glad I finally read this. You've been through some dark times, man... and it's extremely inspiring for me that your ibogaine experience has been so successful and fruitful even a year later.
Very curious about the kratom. I am trying to get off h. I have a couple subutex and a few benzoz. Will the kratom mess with the subutex, and will it help with wd? I wish I could get iboga in the states. I hear it works wonders. Any thoughts please reply! I made a thread called trying to wd from opiates... Please help. I don't know how to use this site. Thanks.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
I completely feel for you man, I'm addicted to opiates too. Fucked up shit.
Kratom is the thing that actually led me INTO my addiction... if you haven't abused your opioid-related brain circuitry, it feels amazing, beautiful. Kinda like oxycodone more than anything else. Now it will sort of get me high, it's really not favorable but it does mostly ease the withdrawal. Granted my opiate of choice is poppy tea and not H. It produces pretty intense withdrawals of its own, not as bad as H though. Have you tried using sub before? I am actually considering it at the moment.
I do believe the kratom will interact with the sub... kratom (mitragynine and 7-hydroxy-miragynine and some others) basically functions as a pretty effective opiate, even though it's not one.
Kratom is the thing that actually led me INTO my addiction... if you haven't abused your opioid-related brain circuitry, it feels amazing, beautiful. Kinda like oxycodone more than anything else. Now it will sort of get me high, it's really not favorable but it does mostly ease the withdrawal. Granted my opiate of choice is poppy tea and not H. It produces pretty intense withdrawals of its own, not as bad as H though. Have you tried using sub before? I am actually considering it at the moment.
I do believe the kratom will interact with the sub... kratom (mitragynine and 7-hydroxy-miragynine and some others) basically functions as a pretty effective opiate, even though it's not one.
This is an awesome account. If I ever get licensure as a professional counselor, I would love to study ibogaine therapy and help people learn from an ibogaine experience (pre and post experience therapy). I suppose I'd have to try it somewher in between to truly understand it.