Very interested thread and write-up! I, too, explored the Iboga route when looking to finally rid myself of the chains of opiate addiction.
I'm amazed at it's ability to halt cravings even when talking extensively about the subject of opiates. Where, in the past, I would not be able to even broach the subject without making a call to my nearest supplier, the desire to fiend over opiates was just not there anymore. That was the most dramatic change I experienced from Ibogaine. I went 4 weeks, still going through post acute withdrawals (I do not believe I reached the flood dose necessarily to completely reset my brain chemistry, or whatever the mechanisms of the drug are), but not once decided that opiates were going to be the answer to solving my problems. Instead, I slowly began to see depression and anxiety as a means to truly rebuild myself and get to the root of my addiction and triggers. Although I did turn to other substances to combat my depression in dark times, I still was in the mindset that opiates just weren't a necessary avenue to travel down.
A few weeks ago, I decided that I would try opiates in order to finally get my work life in order, as that was the most challenging piece of the puzzle and job just didn't allow the leeway to wait out the lack of motivation to complete my projects, so 5 weeks later, I turned to my old faithful, promising myself, it would only be one day of use. At the end of the day, The depression and despair was so great that it seemed as though I had nothing to lose by using 'just once' as us addicts say. Well the following day, I acquired 100mg worth of oxycodone and began with a 30mg dose, which, given my previous addiction of using 200-300mg of oxy at a time, I was amazed to feel the same sense of contentedness and motivation to get whatever needed to be done done. I spent the next work day on a morning dose of 30mg with a 20mg booster 2 hours in. Working from 6am until the afternoon plowing through my work, catching up on any and all projects, I felt a sense of accomplishment for once in the last year of struggling to quit. It wasn't the same feeling of chasing any sort of high. I had no expectations to experiencing a mind blowing opiate experience given the fact that my tolerance could not have dropped that much from the ibogaine merely a month away from cessation of use. But, I was wrong. I experienced a sense of calm and focus that I have missed for so many weeks. Now before this becomes a thread about the efficacy of ibogaine and my failure to stay clean, 8 hours following my dose, with no more opiates in my system to fuel my motivation or happiness, I experienced something that I've never experienced before. My desire to redose or acquire more opiates was just not there. I had accomplished what I needed to accomplish and I was happy for many days following.
2 weeks after that experience, I have yet to touch another opiate, even though the desire to do so comes and goes, I have gone days and even weeks without even the thought of using again. My mood improved drastically afterwards and my motivation returned to about 70% of what it used to be before using. My energy levels began to reach the levels I used to have pre-opiate use many years ago, and I am content with the fact that I will never be able to achieve the things I achieved while using, but that doesn't mean I won't try!
My experience with ibogaine was not until one of my worst LSD trips, during which I experienced pretty much every was I could have been tortured or die. Had I not have been very experienced with rough psychedelic experiences, I can see this experience having left me very shaken, but I chalked it up to a simple set & setting, as most psychedelics are effected by. I took the ibogaine at a program in mexico focused on holistic healing. Unfortunately for me, my trip sitter felt that listening to some dark chants & psytrance-like beats would be the best way to prepare for my trip. Myself, being very influenced by music, especially when tripping, was turned off by this, but by the time I could realize what was happening, I could not articulate, nor understand what I really wanted to change, so I was left in my dark place for 6 or 8 hours of misery. As time goes by, I am able to understand some of the metaphors of my experience, much of it relating to me torturing my body and mind with negative thoughts and unhealthy substances. I don't regret one thing about the trip, despite it's inherent themes of anxiety and despair. I've still much to learn when recollecting on the whole experience.
Since this experience, I've cleaned up my diet (what was once ridden with fast food & junk food), introducing the juicing of fruits and vegetables to allow my body the nutrients it needs to recover and the prohibition of junk foods and processed foods from my diet. I've cleaned up my cosmetics, which I found to be laden with chemicals that are also harsh on my body and have begun making my own products derived from natural ingredients and even have hopes to start a business of organic/natural cosmetic products. I still use other substances every now and again because I enjoy living a life that is not 100% sobriety. I use psychedelics sparingly when I feel it opportune to explore my psyche and learn more about myself and my thought patterns and how to transform my negative thoughts into something more constructive to my life.
Iboga has given me a 'reset' button on my addictions and also a bit of the same goes for my mind. It broke me down to absolutely nothing and left me with a relatively clean slate. It beat the shit out of me and it took me a week to recover physically from the experience, even with daily administration of IV nutrients and a completely organic and holistic diet (part of the program I enrolled in). Although I cursed this aspect of it at first, it also allowed me the chance to retrain my palette to learn to enjoy the foods that are good for me and grow a bit of a distaste for the foods that aren't quite so good for my body and mind.
I have so much to be thankful for with my experience with Ibogaine. It's very hard to put into words how much it has affected me, but I can honestly say 100% of it has been for the better! I no longer live a life chained to my addiction and desires to escape from this beautiful life. That's not to say this has not been a struggle, but I look at these struggles from such a new perspective now. I'm thankful for so much more and I look forward to my future, as opposed to being despondent & fearful of what is to come in my life.
I'm sorry for the long-winded post, but I've yet to really speak about my experience with ibogaine and happened to cross this thread. I hope that is provides another perspective and some more insight on this powerful plant.
All my best to you & all.
-Chris
