Have you had a bad day?
I've been there....early December 2006. Except, I had been on a 2 week binge, minimal sleep or food, and I was hallucinating an thought there were DEA agents outside and saw cops on the rooftop of the neighboring buidings. So, I swallowed a 2 gram bag of crystal meth...I then went to sleep...
Electricity; thats what I saw and heard....static, white volts...I jumped up, just to fall down, panting, struggling to breathe, and writhing on the floor. I remember shaking and not being able to talk...fortunately, I had friends there...they would help me, and take me to a doctor.
Wrong.
A basement is where I went, and was left with a dog. I vaguely recall a female saying, "...yeah, let's go..."
I think I said, "Don't leave me," but I did not realize at that point that I was unable to form coherent words; only noises, reaching from the cold and dirty floor desperately, for my friends. Laughter, and then silence.
Almost a week later, I woke up in a room.
I was confused, disoriented, and still shaking, barely able to walk. I had to hold onto the wall to guide me to the door, and then I saw a cop. And I was not hallucinating. Fell out again.
2 days after, I was allowed a phone call; so I called my mom.
"Where are you?" she demanded.
"I'm in jail, mom!" I replied. The jailer looked at me. And I noticed something.
My mother began to cry hysterically, and I said, "Mom, mom! What is wrong? Help me!"
I still, over a week after I ingested a 2 gram package of crytal meth, could not form words.
I could not talk. I was still shaking uncontrollably. And unable to talk.
The fear that gripped me was as intense as what got me there.
My speech was....just frantic noises.
6 months later, my speech was back to normal.
By 12 months, the shaking was gone.
5 years later, everything has been restored and multplied, just like in the book of Joel.
I made a decision that I did not want to die; I know I overdosed, and that I should have died. And at the very least, had neurological damage that was irreparable.
Today, I stand tall, and am successful in the career that I am in. Happy (75% of the time) with who I am.
I have a wonderful husband, great family, perfect baby. American dream. And I am only 25.
Before my 2 year addiction, I was spoiled, selfish. I was judgemental and cruel. I really thought I was something special and superior to everyone else. Pride comes before a fall.
And today?
Passion engulfs me with every project I do. I see people, pain and potential.
I cannot be cruel because I choose to look at the person behind the face...and though many of us come from different roads in life, all of our pain and trauma is equal.
Everyone is equal in God's eyes.
I am a special woman, but only because I chose to fight death.
It was a tough fight. Nothing good comes easy.
God Himself was with me...and together we beat the odds.
--reSearching4Myself
I've been there....early December 2006. Except, I had been on a 2 week binge, minimal sleep or food, and I was hallucinating an thought there were DEA agents outside and saw cops on the rooftop of the neighboring buidings. So, I swallowed a 2 gram bag of crystal meth...I then went to sleep...
Electricity; thats what I saw and heard....static, white volts...I jumped up, just to fall down, panting, struggling to breathe, and writhing on the floor. I remember shaking and not being able to talk...fortunately, I had friends there...they would help me, and take me to a doctor.
Wrong.
A basement is where I went, and was left with a dog. I vaguely recall a female saying, "...yeah, let's go..."
I think I said, "Don't leave me," but I did not realize at that point that I was unable to form coherent words; only noises, reaching from the cold and dirty floor desperately, for my friends. Laughter, and then silence.
Almost a week later, I woke up in a room.
I was confused, disoriented, and still shaking, barely able to walk. I had to hold onto the wall to guide me to the door, and then I saw a cop. And I was not hallucinating. Fell out again.
2 days after, I was allowed a phone call; so I called my mom.
"Where are you?" she demanded.
"I'm in jail, mom!" I replied. The jailer looked at me. And I noticed something.
My mother began to cry hysterically, and I said, "Mom, mom! What is wrong? Help me!"
I still, over a week after I ingested a 2 gram package of crytal meth, could not form words.
I could not talk. I was still shaking uncontrollably. And unable to talk.
The fear that gripped me was as intense as what got me there.
My speech was....just frantic noises.
6 months later, my speech was back to normal.
By 12 months, the shaking was gone.
5 years later, everything has been restored and multplied, just like in the book of Joel.
I made a decision that I did not want to die; I know I overdosed, and that I should have died. And at the very least, had neurological damage that was irreparable.
Today, I stand tall, and am successful in the career that I am in. Happy (75% of the time) with who I am.
I have a wonderful husband, great family, perfect baby. American dream. And I am only 25.
Before my 2 year addiction, I was spoiled, selfish. I was judgemental and cruel. I really thought I was something special and superior to everyone else. Pride comes before a fall.
And today?
Passion engulfs me with every project I do. I see people, pain and potential.
I cannot be cruel because I choose to look at the person behind the face...and though many of us come from different roads in life, all of our pain and trauma is equal.
Everyone is equal in God's eyes.
I am a special woman, but only because I chose to fight death.
It was a tough fight. Nothing good comes easy.
God Himself was with me...and together we beat the odds.
--reSearching4Myself
Vader