been clean for a year, now im sick again!

[Mr.Dopesick]

hey,

i have been reading this forum and need some advice, i have been clean from heroin for nearly a year (in nov) but the last 3-4 weeks i started using again, i lost so much before when i was an addict (my girlfriend, my family, my friends) and im worried about it again, it all started again when i went round to a known addicts house with my friend (also an ex-addict) to sell something so we can buy some weed, from there we went back another day to score some heroin and ended up smoking it there.

okey, so a few days later we went back to score again this time we both injected and i got a dealers number (i deleted all my contacts when i was clean) but since then i have been going to score without my friend and have been using quite a lot past few weeks spending £20-50 a time using every other day, my other friend also wanted me to score for him which i never wanted to do but he has the money so i decided to score for him.

anyway for the past 2 days i have been really ill and it seems like i have been dope sick, my stomach has been killing me, cramps, pains, cold sweats and lack of sleep, it was definitely not as bad as when i was a full time addict and went cold turkey, but i do think im starting to get a habit again... which i do not want!

so the reason im posting here is i need some advice, i don't like to talk to my friends about this as they don't no i have been using again (only 3 of my friends know and they all have done heroin with me recently) 1 of them a girl i like who i was with when i was a full time addict (she smoked it for the first a week ago), now i don't no if they expect me to buy it for them more often.

my mind is really not straight atm, last time i used was 3 days ago but for the last 2 days i have been really ill, i don't want to use again because i don't want a habit, but this pain... this is what i couldn't cope with before.

my friend is bringing me some methadone that he is prescribed later to help me feel better, i just don't no what to do! if anyone has some advice who was an ex-addict who started using again like me, appreciate it.

thanks

 

[DeMiZe-420-]

well smack yourself in the face and get your brain on track
starting right after u take the done, id tell your friends u want NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING to do with dogfood, you dont want it around you dont want to see them on it, ANYTHING CAN TRIGGER THAT URGE

Delete ur dealers #'s tell ur friends how u really feel.. if they look down on your for wanting to better yourself then fuckem you dont need those kind of friends.

ive never done heroin and ive never banged shit either but i know plenty of people who do and i chose not to be around them for the simple fact that i dont even want to be tempted to try it

you cant make excuses its up to YOU AND ONLY YOU if you want to follow through with quitting
fuck if you can go almost a year without touching it, u should be ok

 

[Cane2theLeft]

I think this is better suited for the dark side forum. TDS mods if this isn't appropriate for your forum, feel free to send it back or to BDD.



--->TDS

 

[darkrom]

well smack yourself in the face and get your brain on track
starting right after u take the done, id tell your friends u want NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING to do with dogfood, you dont want it around you dont want to see them on it, ANYTHING CAN TRIGGER THAT URGE

Delete ur dealers #'s tell ur friends how u really feel.. if they look down on your for wanting to better yourself then fuckem you dont need those kind of friends.

ive never done heroin and ive never banged shit either but i know plenty of people who do and i chose not to be around them for the simple fact that i dont even want to be tempted to try it

you cant make excuses its up to YOU AND ONLY YOU if you want to follow through with quitting
fuck if you can go almost a year without touching it, u should be ok

PERFECT advise. You already kicked the habit for a year, don't let anyone suck you back in.

 

[socalrollin]

dude your three days clean already!!! just stay the fuck away from any opiates! your dancing with the devil again, your going to get burned!

fuck that high! just think of the price you eventually ALWAYS have to pay. it is never worth it!

live a healthy happy clean life. there is nothing more rewarding.

 

[DeLee]

Happened to me too man.
Had been clean for a year and my addict side of me convinced me that I could shoot a little speed, chew some benso's and drink some whiskey. Yeah, rock and roll for just one day!
Then it repeats itself and day two the addict side convinces me that it would be damn nice to top this two-day-binge with .5grams of Heroin for a smooth comedown.

Said and done but when I wake up on the third day I feel the hangover from all the booz and amphetamine and become depressed and angry at myself for letting that side of me dictate.
Feeling ashamed, angry and depressed for RELAPSING - I chew some bensos and slam another fix of Heroin just for the depression and anxiety, and the rollercoster is once more taking rides.. all to common.

Hoping to make it now, clean 4 months. Im in a good Sub & Meth-program, 16mils of Suboxone/day + Oxazepam for anxiety.
Stay strong!