Beds

Tales of Misogyny

I need to vent here. I've created an entire subcategory for my blog in tribute to the talented but underappreciated mis-ogynistic/-anthropic writer Patricia Highsmith. I need to deal with long-suppressed emotions and memories. I'm going to rant and rave, and I hope I don't offend anyone. The first rant is the most recent.

Beds
Last night, I got in trouble for getting into bed the wrong way. I entered the bed by climbing over its foot. This seemed like a logical way to get into bed for several reasons. My side of the bed is about 2 feet from the wall. Normally, I could walk up to the middle of the bed, pull down a corner of the covers and sheet, and enter from there. But recently, the space between the bed and wall has become cluttered on my side. There is now a chair filling most of the space there. I didnt' put it there. Surrounding the chair and occupying the remaining space between the wall and my side of the bed is my gf's laptop among heaps of books and laundry. (Some is of the books and some of my laundry are mine, I know.) Indeed, I had to climb over the foot of the bed to enter.

The bed frame at the foot of the bed is severla inches higher than the level of the mattress/sheets/blankets. After climbing onto the bed, I crawled up the lenght of thhe bed to the pillow, which is where the entrance of the sheet/blankets is located. So I squatted at the pillow, lifted the sheet and blankets from the mattress, and scooted under. A____ became angry and scolded me, and told me how uncouth I am for getting in bed this way. This hurt my feelings. I have slept on the floor (or ground) most of my life and am still not used to sleeping in beds.

So I haven't really been exposed to the rules of bed-etiquette. Since I've been dating A_, she's refused to allow me to set up my sleeping palette (a camping mat for softness and a sheet and blankets (she called it a "rat's nest" when she first saw it.) on the floor, much less sleep in it, and has insisted that I sleep in her bed with her. I, on the other hand, prefer that we both sleep on the floor in my cozy "rat's nest." Her bed (and beds in general) is too soft. My body sinks and twists in on itslef. The softness of the bed causes me to "V" down into it so my midsection is bend at an unnatutal angle. This puts pressure on my intenal organs and makes my shoulders terrible sore. Sometiems this causes me intense pain (strain in back, neck, shoulder, arm, hip, leg, stomach, etc.) that lasts throughout the next day(s). I don'r know whhat to do other than get used to it and get in the bed the way she wants me to.
 
What is misogynystic about a typical spat? Humans are highly social animals and yet prisoners of ego. Primates that we are we readily lash out at those closest to us. Irony I suppose, in a convoluted sort of way. Funny though, I think I have had exactly that argument with every serious love I have had (not that I've had many, just that it seems to be 1 of those all too human issues).
 
True, it was a spat. She lashes out at me, and I lash out at her. But I fear that it could be the tip of the iceberg. There have been many spats in recent months. So many that tension builds up, stressing me and threatening to make me cynical against women, the reason I thought of misogyny. Maybe she feels the same way.

I want to nip this in the bud right here by venting and examining it. Also, I dont' know what is normal behavior in a relationship or when the relationship itself is a problem. How many spats is normal and still healthy? (I didnt' have good role models during childhood.) In evidence of this, I've had some absolutely horrible relationships (comparible to the nightmare relationships in Patricia Highsmith's "Tales of misogyny,") that I stayed in way too long. They remain in my system and affect my judgement and thinking. I need to try to get them out as well, possibly through journaling about them and their aftermath.
 
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