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Beauty

doofqueen

doofqueen

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 27, 2002
Messages
9,993
Location
Down Under
twinkles, lights, stars
glitter like rays from the sun
all have warmth
beauty
spirit and soul
energy radiates from
wonders
from earth
from ur loved ones
alive, electric
hot, burning, bright
and then there is
the moon...

This one is not one of my favorites and i'm not really happy with the flow with it.I would like to know what it makes you think about and what you think i mean by it as i feel i have not expressed what i wanted to say properly...comments are appreciated :)
 
i really like it

"energy radiates from wonders
from earth
from ur loved ones"

this makes me feel so fuzzy inside ^_^


skjalff
 
I really like this. It makes me feel so gooood! Like a cherry blossom blowing in the breeze and a little girl staring endlessly into the night sky dreaming of her future. I couldn't forget the cute little cocker spaniel puppy that popped into my head too :)

Good work! Short and sweet. It doesn't need elaboration, but don't be afraid to fiddle wid' it.

Peace
 
i read this to a friend of mine and he said it sounded incomplete or that i ended it negatively ie when i say "and then there is the moon" it sounds like i was just really positive in the whole piece until this part and am saying that the moon is the negative to all the above...does anyone else see this or interpret it as that at all?
 
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