Be careful what you ask for......in WD and thanking God

[lozgod]

.....I wanted to get clean. I was going to pain management and that was my excuse to keep using. I had to use because I was a pain management patient.

Well I experimented with fent the other day thinking it should be out of my urine in 48 hours according to what I found online. Well it was in my urine today. I came clean.

The PM doc gave me a script for some subutex to hold me over to get in to a detox -----> rehab.

I am doing it. I paid my rent today and have $8 to my name. My sister is calling around and finding a bed in a non-insurance rehab is not easy but am advised that if I go to detox they can usually have a bed ready at one upon my departure. I am going to do it.

Good bye addiction. I am sick right now and actually am finding joy in it even though my arms and legs are killing me. I never had RLS and RAS come on this fast (about 14 hours after last usage), I have a bumping headache, and stomach is on fire. I am embracing this.

I believe God answered those Foxhole dope sick prayers I made everytime I was sick.

This will probably ruin any chance to use the medical system to continue opiate addiction. I am embracing this opportunity, Thank God, I will not take this opportunity lightly.

I am in tears at certain moments. Some joy, some pain and depression. Either way but I am ready.

I am doen being a fucking junkie!

 

[lozgod]

That is a HUGE, positive decision you've made lozgod! Very admirable and I know it didn't come easy to make that choice.

Dude, I have a great deal of respect for you and what you are doing

Thanks for the support. Greatly appreciated. I have yet to take the Subutex. The RLS and RAS is begging me to do it but I am trying to stick it out with a heat pad and Lope. Will probably go in to detox tomorrow if that's what I have to do to get to rehab. I am capable of handling the physical part. It is the mental part afterwards. I need at least 28 days to get better, physical detox isn't going to be enough.

I am covered with sweat. Gonna take a hot bath for my poor legs and arms and lay down with some new sheets. These ones now have that God awful opiate WD sweat stink.

 

[abracadabra girl]

Good for you. Curious, though, how are you going to manage your pain in future?

 

[oliphill]

Awesome news man! I was reading a thread of yours yesterday, hoping when you came back it was gonna be something positive, and then I read this this morning.

Good luck! :D

opiate WD sweat stink.

Lol. Last night I had to spend the night in one of the residential flats of a rehab. Not for me, I was doing a favour for the person that runs it. I knew I recognised the smell in there!

 

[lozgod]

Good for you. Curious, though, how are you going to manage your pain in future?

It's an injury from 1996. I dealt with it for years with advil as needed. Pain management made it magnified. Basically used PM for the drugs vs using it for pain. I can lift over 50 lbs no problem. I'm diagnosed with DDD but it isn't as painful as I describe to the doctor.

I didn't make this decision for the record. I pee'd dirty. I could of probably BS'ed my way to staying, saying I was experimenting with a families unused meds, etc but instead I told the doc I'm addicted and I want out.