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BDD Social and Info Booth Vs 29 -Yeah! SCIENCE, BITCH!

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mugz you got my support to homeboy, just hang in there. now on the other note my head is absolutly killing me from my sinus infection luckily im feelin pretty sweet from 15mg oral hydrocodone 45mg plugged oxycodone + 5 mg plugged hydrocodone, and a bowl of some dank ass weed abd a single 12oz 6%alc beer and a cig of course lol. but really this is a weak ass combo for me… wish i had about a 25mg opana ir (pink) shot with like a couple shots of nice cocaine afterwards… that would make me feel dopppppe lmao but that aint happenin
 
Mugz said:
If I wanted to in my area I could go to a meeting a day, somedays even two if I really wanted to, I've only ever been to 3 meetings, two at the same place but will explore some of the other ones in the area too and see what they are like.

I'm still not convinced about this step work stuff, but the higher power stuff here isn't forced onto you as a Christian god, it could be anything from the earth and the sky to the other members of NA, it can also be organised religions too, but it doesn't have to be, so that is a bonus.

I'm not ready to start with the steps yet as I'm still using the benzos and am waiting on rehab to get off those and then I can start counting the days of blank pages in my drug diary and getting my 30 day chip will be amazing when I finally get it, although I have to remember it is 1 day at a time up until then, I've cut down a lot and no longer use alcohol or other drugs, just the benzos that I'm dependent on, so I'm almost ready for sobriety, some would say that it's just medicinal stuff I need to get rid of now, but the cravings for everything else are still way up there and nagging at me everyday.
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My sentiments exactly.

I started going to NA back in August 2012 and although it has given me great hope I too wrestle with some aspects, especially the higher power, disease of addiction and the 12 steps.

My Anxiety spikes when I go to meetings aswell unfortunately, so I have avoided going to meetings since December even though I've managed 45 days clean and I'm therefore overdue my 30 day clean keyring.

I would like to tell you that the cravings subside (I'm sure they do at some point) But IME they are still there very strong.
 
pally pete said:
My sentiments exactly.

I started going to NA back in August 2012 and although it has given me great hope I too wrestle with some aspects, especially the higher power, disease of addiction and the 12 steps.

My Anxiety spikes when I go to meetings aswell unfortunately, so I have avoided going to meetings since December even though I've managed 45 days clean and I'm therefore overdue my 30 day clean keyring.

I would like to tell you that the cravings subside (I'm sure they do at some point) But IME they are still there very strong.
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I can definitely agree, my anxiety also gets bad at the NA meetings, I have to take extra Neurontin to calm down. I just feel outta place, because they all follow the 12 steps like Commandments. I've never been attracted to organized religions. I don't want a sponsor, I just want a group of people that understand. There's nobody I relate to enough at my local meetings for me to even consider a sponsorship. Some of it just seems cultesque to me, not to badmouth it though. It has help a great deal of addicts. I am opposed to stopping all substances (marijuana and alcohol), that's not what sets me off. Shooting heroin and coke is something that once I do it once, I can't help myself from waking up the next day scavenging around the house for valuables I can sell or pawn... so I can go score. Vicious cycle, actual hell.
 
Fuck yeah, I got a call today for a potential job at the university I went to, and I also talked to a friend who just recently broke up with his girlfriend, resulting in him having an open room. So basically I might have a job and definitely have a place to live in the town. I love my friends. They have made being homeless a shit ton easier.
 
^good luck with the job!

i was in an interview yesterday for an amazing non-profit that i suspect has it down to another candidate and me! one of the questions was what experience i have working with those suffering from poverty and gang related violence. i was able to give other examples, but i was cracking up inside thinking "there is no melting pot like hard-drug addiction!"
 
I know it's so annoying. Sucks my only source is prescribed XR, both him AND his brother.... Dumb. But it still works nonetheless.
 
Again met my dealer to give me oc120s. She's the best in the world seriously. She's fucking ace. The best dealer a person could fucking ask for i swear to god - she's friendly as hell, she's sweet, pretty, lovely and just amazing. Fuck I wish all dealers were like that, I could even see her being my friend cause she seems so damn nice and friendly.

Ahhhhh oc 120s. The king pins of all oxy.
 
ABSURD DEALER MOMENTS-"Ahhh, just drove to the city (apathetic to the fact that I don't have my license right now). Picked up my dealer, got a brand new rig... finally, and he paid me to drop him off at this restaurant; he's a black Dayton-famous chef there! haha. He was also talking about running train on this cute, shapely girl I used to be in a mainly sex/heavy drug use relationship with. He said "Yeah breh y'all was supposed to hangout wit me last week and shit, you know she fuck wit dem drugs like they candy. She get all doped up and she gonna wan' us to team that shit."

Just one 150mg shot of his dope has me nodding into my keyboard. :) Just smoked some potent and the nod is multiplied.
 
^rofl

synthetix said:
Again met my dealer to give me oc120s. She's the best in the world seriously. She's fucking ace. The best dealer a person could fucking ask for i swear to god - she's friendly as hell, she's sweet, pretty, lovely and just amazing. Fuck I wish all dealers were like that, I could even see her being my friend cause she seems so damn nice and friendly.

Ahhhhh oc 120s. The king pins of all oxy.
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There are 120mg oxys? I had no idea.
 
Oh yeah baby. Purple beauties. Big as an oc 80, ill post a pic. They are the choice for kings.

NSFW:
2cfd4zb.jpg
28k4gvb.jpg


Here they are. In all their glory. Hail.

I was all out and my heroine came and saved me. I thought I'd go into major w/d's again because normal dealer gone AWOL once more. She is my saviour, and boy, are OC120s the shit.
 
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synthetix said:
Oh yeah baby. Purple beauties. Big as an oc 80, ill post a pic. They are the choice for kings.

NSFW:
2cfd4zb.jpg
28k4gvb.jpg


Here they are. In all their glory. Hail.

I was all out and my heroine came and saved me. I thought I'd go into major w/d's again because normal dealer gone AWOL once more. She is my saviour, and boy, are OC120s the shit.
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Cool, I checked it out and they are not prescribed here (80mg max), that's why I've never seen them.

It sucks so bad when dealers go AWOL, I'm glad I don't have to deal with that shit anymore. Or well, I still have to deal with it from time to time, but now it's just an inconvenience instead of the end of the world.

Going to make myself a white russian, put on a movie and smoke some maroccan hash. Found some really old caugh syrup with ethylmorphine in it, though it doesn't look that appetizing any longer lol >_<
 
Yeah. This dealer used to be really good, but now he's completely inconsistent and just doesn't respond or send out goods anymore. I've given up on him and I'm going to switch to this one that I got my 120s off from now. She's reliable and fast - what more could you ask for!
 
synthetix said:
Again met my dealer to give me oc120s. She's the best in the world seriously. She's fucking ace. The best dealer a person could fucking ask for i swear to god - she's friendly as hell, she's sweet, pretty, lovely and just amazing. Fuck I wish all dealers were like that, I could even see her being my friend cause she seems so damn nice and friendly.

Ahhhhh oc 120s. The king pins of all oxy.
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Nice!

Well I've just gotten a prescription for 500/30 paracetamol/codeine in a country where you can get pure codeine OTC, failign to see the point :?
 
Pagey said:
Nice!

Well I've just gotten a prescription for 500/30 paracetamol/codeine in a country where you can get pure codeine OTC, failign to see the point :?
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Is that over in France? When I was there I was also prescribed that, and I even asked for just pure codiene but they said all formulations they have are only with paracetamol...:(

Ah well, fuck codeine, oxy is the one.
 
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