hangyourhead
Bluelighter
Well you got my support man even though it's via Bluelight. I used to go under the name Escapedysphoria/Ed before I lost the password and Email, not sure if you remember me or not haha.
My sentiments exactly.If I wanted to in my area I could go to a meeting a day, somedays even two if I really wanted to, I've only ever been to 3 meetings, two at the same place but will explore some of the other ones in the area too and see what they are like.
I'm still not convinced about this step work stuff, but the higher power stuff here isn't forced onto you as a Christian god, it could be anything from the earth and the sky to the other members of NA, it can also be organised religions too, but it doesn't have to be, so that is a bonus.
I'm not ready to start with the steps yet as I'm still using the benzos and am waiting on rehab to get off those and then I can start counting the days of blank pages in my drug diary and getting my 30 day chip will be amazing when I finally get it, although I have to remember it is 1 day at a time up until then, I've cut down a lot and no longer use alcohol or other drugs, just the benzos that I'm dependent on, so I'm almost ready for sobriety, some would say that it's just medicinal stuff I need to get rid of now, but the cravings for everything else are still way up there and nagging at me everyday.
My sentiments exactly.
I started going to NA back in August 2012 and although it has given me great hope I too wrestle with some aspects, especially the higher power, disease of addiction and the 12 steps.
My Anxiety spikes when I go to meetings aswell unfortunately, so I have avoided going to meetings since December even though I've managed 45 days clean and I'm therefore overdue my 30 day clean keyring.
I would like to tell you that the cravings subside (I'm sure they do at some point) But IME they are still there very strong.
Again met my dealer to give me oc120s. She's the best in the world seriously. She's fucking ace. The best dealer a person could fucking ask for i swear to god - she's friendly as hell, she's sweet, pretty, lovely and just amazing. Fuck I wish all dealers were like that, I could even see her being my friend cause she seems so damn nice and friendly.
Ahhhhh oc 120s. The king pins of all oxy.
Oh yeah baby. Purple beauties. Big as an oc 80, ill post a pic. They are the choice for kings.
NSFW:![]()
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Here they are. In all their glory. Hail.
I was all out and my heroine came and saved me. I thought I'd go into major w/d's again because normal dealer gone AWOL once more. She is my saviour, and boy, are OC120s the shit.
Again met my dealer to give me oc120s. She's the best in the world seriously. She's fucking ace. The best dealer a person could fucking ask for i swear to god - she's friendly as hell, she's sweet, pretty, lovely and just amazing. Fuck I wish all dealers were like that, I could even see her being my friend cause she seems so damn nice and friendly.
Ahhhhh oc 120s. The king pins of all oxy.
I know it's so annoying. Sucks my only source is prescribed XR, both him AND his brother.... Dumb. But it still works nonetheless.
Nice!
Well I've just gotten a prescription for 500/30 paracetamol/codeine in a country where you can get pure codeine OTC, failign to see the point![]()