bad trip

I almost killed myself this weekend after having a bad trip on mushrooms and hearing voices that told me that I had to kill myself, otherwise they'd get me later. and even after the trip ended and I was sober, I still felt like I had to do it, and I still sort of feel it now. I went through hell and saw things people shouldn't have to see, I felt burns on my skin, I was the most terrified I've ever felt in my life and I just wanted it to end so when they told me to kill myself I almost did it. luckily I ran into someone who took care of me and saved me from some of the darkness but there was no way they could completely tear me out of that trip.

I'm pissed off. because I asked my ex for 4g and he just grabbed a random bag and without telling me, gave me 8 grams instead. he never told me that he didn't measure it out. and he laughed when he told me much much later, once I was completely sober.
it didn't look like 8 because it was crushed up but it still looked off. I ate it all anyways..

And now he's telling my sister that I never specified how much i wanted, trying to cover his ass so he doesn't look bad, since they\re good friends. trying to make me look like the idiot. I'm sure he gave me it just for laughs, but it wasn't fucking funny when you almost fucking kill yourself and feel like you'll forever be fucked in the head after going through all that torture, burns on your skin, watching people melt and bubble, and watching people subtract themselves from existence and being told to join them. I want to die after seeing all that shit. it was fucking awful. i want to kill him for putting me through that shit and then making me look like the idiot. fuck you alex I hope you go through the same hell that I went through. I hope you fucking kill yourself.

 

Fuuuuuuuck. That's basically mindrape. Only thing worse would be to dose someone without their knowing.

Mushrooms and I... don't get along. At all. So I certainly feel your pain there. The last time that I took mushrooms there was very nearly some serious... unpleasantness. For the good of those around me, I can never take them again. Which suits me just fine-- acid was always more my thing.

Very thankful to hear that you made it through! All I can say is: I probably wouldn't trust an ex with my brain chemistry. Doubly so after pulling shit like that. He'll get his comeuppance some day though; no need to sully yourself with that.

 

I love mushrooms and I've never had a bad trip before. I've done them at raves plenty of times and I know that 4 is my limit- the only time I ever do more than that is if I'm in a calm and relaxed place, just chilling out. Nowhere that's loud and crowded.. it was all in the setting. I've done 8g before and been fine. This was just so overwhelming and at the wrong place.
I have a feeling that he did it because we got in a fight the other week, and though we both got on better terms and were getting along fine, I think that he still wanted to get back at me somehow. And this was it. he does fucked up shit like that to his friends who piss him off.

 

Hallucinogens absolutely need care with regard to "set" and "setting." Who and where are the keys. One needs to be in a great mood, at a great point in their life and in a physical environment that isn't at all stressful. If with people, and THAT is always wise, it must be people you are absolutely in the company of known and liked people. Still, there are a percentage in the low single digits who will always have problems with hallucinogenics. Pre-existing mental health issues will be brought to the surface faster. Think of hallucinogenics as a mood magnifier; IF you are in a good mood, they can bring you to the brink of ecstasy. If you are aren't, well, you get the point.

 

Trust me, I know this.. And I would have been fine if it wasn't for the fact that I did so much. I know that 4 is my limit and that anything more could be bad despite my mood.

 

Ive had the kind of completely immersing trips were you feel so good it's like heroin, and I experienced ego death. But I was relaxed and in a quiet and comfortable setting. This was not a quiet and comfortable setting, and I got lost ad could not find anyone I knew so I panicked. All the noises and bustling people scared me and were extremely overwhelming.

 

How you spend your time in the days after a bad trip is important.

I like mushrooms and have eaten my share of heroic doses (7 - 14 grams). Most of these trips are pleasant (whether alone or with others, it doesn't seem to make a big difference for me), but I've had a few rotten trips as well. For me, the best thing to do in the aftermath of the few days after a bad trip is to try to relax and avoid stress. Spend time in pleasant surroundings, listen to soothing music, and avoid conflict.

 

Thanks for the good advice. I'm trying I get the week off anyway because I just had my wisdom teeth removed, so I've been lying in bed a lot and sleeping.

 

I could have sworn I made alex give u 10grams, that fucker never gets his measurements correct