I did ½ g B2 with my other half two nights ago. which was great. he didnt experience the e scene of the 90s so we've been enjoying each other's company with some rc's of late. great fun with someone whom you have total trust in, to let go like you can emotionally and sexually. Though, in this case, more the latter. anyway, i digress. so we did b2 and managed to get a bit of sleep from 5:30 - 11am. The alarm clock didnt go off and we got awoken by our son after he'd taken the opportunity to watch loads of saturday morning tv. We then had a great day out, a bit tired but relaxed from the night before.we bought him a new (sharp as a butcher's knife) suit for his new job, took the wee one (or not so wee anymore) to the cinema, had dinner in a cafe and had a general good time in the city.
We came home and the boy (husband that is), was so sweet and cuddly and full of love and attention for me. The big boy and smaller boy cuddled on the sofa and watched yet another film. Yes, I know, it was a lazy day! They were snoozing so I stupidly decided to have this nrg3 i had stashed away. only one, i told myself. why on earth i thought this would be a good idea, i simply dont know. i didnt tell the boy and spent the rest if the evening/early hours re-dosing in "secret". Way to go on the trust front. he was super cuddly and i could tell he needed a cuddle but wouldnt ask for one. he's too patient for that. instead, i was on the laptop IMing friends and lurking on eBay and BL trip report forums. Now he's long ago asleep after patiently waiting for my attention the whole night and Im on here, tweaked out with no hope of sleep, having to explain my odd behaviour when he gets up.
I feel like a right muppet. Why would I 1) think it was a good idea 2)keep it secret. Ill tell you why. Because deep down you know you shouldnt but you mentally convince yourself that you can handle just one, to take the edge off. Then you get stuck in the fiending cycle incomprehensible to anyone who isnt in it so the appearance must be kept.
sigh. branded legals have too many shit qualities to make them worthwhile. Thing is, i already knew what this one was like cuz we;d tried it before and I was ready to bin them. But did I? Oh no. against my better judgement, I kept them "just in case". HA! Just in case i wanted a shitty no sleep, high fiending, high body-load mess again! Why is it so hard to bin drugs?? I even told my husband i'd binned them but "found a forgotten stash" when he asked about them. crap, maybe i;m developing symptoms of addiction?
-lying about your stash
-secret intake
-serious fiending (which never seems as bad for the boy. he can resist much better than me)
-doing small amounts to help make "boring" tasks, like cleaning, more enjoyable
If anyone is reading this, id love your opinion. 8)
We came home and the boy (husband that is), was so sweet and cuddly and full of love and attention for me. The big boy and smaller boy cuddled on the sofa and watched yet another film. Yes, I know, it was a lazy day! They were snoozing so I stupidly decided to have this nrg3 i had stashed away. only one, i told myself. why on earth i thought this would be a good idea, i simply dont know. i didnt tell the boy and spent the rest if the evening/early hours re-dosing in "secret". Way to go on the trust front. he was super cuddly and i could tell he needed a cuddle but wouldnt ask for one. he's too patient for that. instead, i was on the laptop IMing friends and lurking on eBay and BL trip report forums. Now he's long ago asleep after patiently waiting for my attention the whole night and Im on here, tweaked out with no hope of sleep, having to explain my odd behaviour when he gets up.
I feel like a right muppet. Why would I 1) think it was a good idea 2)keep it secret. Ill tell you why. Because deep down you know you shouldnt but you mentally convince yourself that you can handle just one, to take the edge off. Then you get stuck in the fiending cycle incomprehensible to anyone who isnt in it so the appearance must be kept.
sigh. branded legals have too many shit qualities to make them worthwhile. Thing is, i already knew what this one was like cuz we;d tried it before and I was ready to bin them. But did I? Oh no. against my better judgement, I kept them "just in case". HA! Just in case i wanted a shitty no sleep, high fiending, high body-load mess again! Why is it so hard to bin drugs?? I even told my husband i'd binned them but "found a forgotten stash" when he asked about them. crap, maybe i;m developing symptoms of addiction?
-lying about your stash
-secret intake
-serious fiending (which never seems as bad for the boy. he can resist much better than me)
-doing small amounts to help make "boring" tasks, like cleaning, more enjoyable
If anyone is reading this, id love your opinion. 8)
