A couple weeks ago I did acid for my first time. I went into the trip excited and ready to open my mind. However, i did feel like i tried to "control" the trip in a sense. The first couple hours were really mellow, and i enjoyed a nice body high with minor visuals.
After a couple hours into the trip, i started to go into panic. Thoughts were racing in my mind and at one point i saw heaven and hell. For some reason, i felt as if i was not worthy to go to heaven, so slowly, the devil started to consume me. I went into the bathroom, looked into the mirror and saw my eyes turn completely black and i had this devilish grin on my face. I kept saying to myself, "psychadelics arent for me. when is this going to end?"
In total, i tripped for about 3 days. I had never been this scared and filled with anxiety in my life. At one point i seriously considered suicide because i thought i was not going to "fulfill my goals." As a college student, i am under a lot of pressure to get good grades. In general, i put a lot of pressure on myself to get good grades, get a good job, and live a "good life"
For a week after the trip, i felt socially awkward and i had little confidence in dealing with girls. I couldnt keep a conversation going and people seemed to notice a difference in my overall demeanor.
Acid showed me all of my problems in life, and i wasnt able to face them. It taught me to not look too far into the future and live ever moment as a stream of conciousness. If things are not going well in life, hold your head up high and keep going. It showed me a different side of myself. It made me truly believe that in this life, there is good and evil. The only explanation for the perfection of this life on earth is one word: God. After the trip, i have found the lord and accepted jesus as my personal savior. If we are going to spend eternity somewhere else after we die, mine as well dedicate this short life on earth to the Lord. After reaching the highest highs and lowest lows, i realized what life is like in both heaven and hell. Heaven is full of knowledge and appreciation for peace, nature, and life and hell is full of paranoia, anxiety, stress, pain and suicide.
Acid has changed my life. period. I no longer have the desire to smoke weed, drink until i black out, or take any other mind altering drugs. I find these things as somewhat childish and its not worth losing brain matter for short time impairment. I am a practicing christian now and i am living my life day by day.
I credit acid to this sort of "enlightenment" and if it wasnt for this drug, i would not appreciate every waking moment of life here on earth.