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Bad Acid trip - Where to go from here.

rodox

rodox

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
39
Location
Philly
A few weeks ago, I had the scariest drug experience of my life. Even though I am experienced with acid and thought I was well within my boundaries, 2 1/2 hits of extremely potent blotter had me destroyed.

The trip started awesome; for the first 2 hours I was fine. Then I started being all quiet and reserved, and it all went downhill. For lack of words to accurately describe what was going on in my head, I became an insane man for the next 3 or so hours. I was screaming random shit about death and sex and thorazine. I started taking my clothes off for no reason. I thought I was going through death. If it weren't for my brother watching over me, I seriously might've killed myself.

I'm 100% certain acid is not for me now. Every past time I had taken it (6 or 7 times totals), I knew there was something about it that made me uncomfortable. The hardest part for me is: Before this experience, I was the most ardent proponent for psychedelics you could find. I loved enlightening people on how acid is possibly the "softest" drug there is, in terms of addiction/overdose/toxicity. I've had to reconsider and realize that it is still mentally very powerful and very serious shit.

Since then I've been keeping it simple. I've always felt shrooms and X never gave me the "overwhelming anxiety and inability to socialize or act normal at all" feeling acid does. Should I even tempt going into those waters again? Maybe I just need to hear a similar experience from someone. I hate being the only one who could never really enjoy acid.
 
Well, you are far from the only one who can never really enjoy LSD. It's not for everyone. LSD is serious shit, without a doubt, and there are many dark regions of your mind that can be opened up, particular surrounding, well, sex and death, that can be exceedingly uncomfortable. It sounds to me like you may have been a little overconfident going into this experience, and then caught offguard, blindsided, by the negative spaces that you found yourself in. Honestly, it's happened to me. I went back to try LSD again, and it's not all positive and not all easy, but in the long run, I'd like to say it's been worthwhile. I'm not trying to encourage you to take acid again -- if anything, you should lay off of it for a while, and try to explore what was going on for you -- was it a simple matter of set and setting? Do you have some deep seated shit going on in your life and, consequently, in your mind? Perhaps it's not the time to be dosing a lot of psychedelics. And, perhaps, the time won't come again for a while, or ever. But the best you can do is learn a little something from the experience. The post you just made, clearly enough from reading it, comes from a sane and a stable mind -- so you've returned to such a state, even after being really, really spun in a negative direction. That says a lot. LSD will change you permanently, no doubt about it, but what direction that change is in is largely up to you. I don't like the term "bad trip," except in extreme cases -- perhaps yours qualifies, as it sounds like you were out of your own conscious control. This can happen. Instead of "bad trips," though, I like to think about "difficult trips," which can be unpleasant, even nightmarish, but, in the end, can be the most productive of all. PM me if you need to talk.

Love and Light.
 
rodox said:
I was screaming random shit about death and sex and thorazine. I started taking my clothes off for no reason. I thought I was going through death. If it weren't for my brother watching over me, I seriously might've killed myself.

.
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It sounds like you had an experience like this kid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sgQYDJ3tQo

Should I even tempt going into those waters again?

Probabaly not. Once you've had a terrible experience you're likely to tell yourself "my god, i remember what happened last time" just as the trip comes on.
 
ACID DESTROYS!! Its the kinda thing you'll be forced to learn to respect over time. Naturally, most can't continue the trip all day life style forever without serious strain on their minds. Iv noticed a few very weird & not too uncommon side effects/ brain grinding almost like things while the one is under the influence or coming off of a good few hits. Usually once one has experienced LSD a good few times they tend to feel as if they've learned all they can from that experience. On rare occasions iv seen a post traumatic stress like occurance after serious trips. Luckily i dont feel any urge to go out and trip face.
 
I don't think it's the acid. It's the person taking the acid. Some people can handle unpleasant thoughts on acid. Some people panic and go tell their dad. Acid isn't for everyone.
 
Unrelated to the original post but on-topic:

Do some people here consider themselves 'immune' for extreme out-of-hands difficult/bad trips as described above, i.e. have you taken LSD like 50-100 times and never lost control in a way described above. Of course, some trips would have been more pleasant while others were perhaps more serious.

I guess that, when people totally lose control, it always happens in some sort of a chain reaction and does not happen instantly. Are some people more able to stop the chain fast enough or can it happen to anybody irrelevant of set, setting, personality, emotional stability, control of anxiety,...
 
I believe that most people can feel a little uncomfortable with extremely high doses but that's a long way from a "bad trip". After a couple hundred trips I don't believe it's possible for me to have a "bad trip".

But if I call the police to "come and help me" on my next trip perhaps I'll be proved wrong :)
 
never had a bad time on acid, but did have a horrendous day on mushrooms the first time I tried them

it was partly down to taking them in an abandoned building next to a rancid canal

I have felt uncomfortable on LSD before, and very 'brain dead' near the end of the experience, but never lost control

psychedelics can potentially catch almost anyone off guard, even very experienced users.. the best thing to do after a bad trip is probably leave psychs and weed for a while, the former for a long time if not indefinetly
 
Do some people here consider themselves 'immune' for extreme out-of-hands difficult/bad trips
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Only the stupidly arrogant, I'd say. Bad turns can happen to anyone if you're not careful about set & setting. Most people tend to call difficult trips bad as well, whereas IMO, a 'proper' bad one involves having some sort of psychotic break (sadly that seems the case for the OP); difficult ones can actually prove to be the most rewarding in the long run - it just takes time & a bit of self examination
 
fastandbulbous said:
Only the stupidly arrogant, I'd say. Bad turns can happen to anyone if you're not careful about set & setting. Most people tend to call difficult trips bad as well, whereas IMO, a 'proper' bad one involves having some sort of psychotic break (sadly that seems the case for the OP); difficult ones can actually prove to be the most rewarding in the long run - it just takes time & a bit of self examination
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so, one time i (thought) i had a bad acid trip, it made me think i was going to be insane for ever and that my friends were talking about me. would you classify that as a bad trip or a difficult trip?
 
Don't worry dude, I've been almost as far as you. I've truly gone 'insane' on LSD, DOB and Mushrooms as well. DOB is the only one that has had lasting insanity-esque effects. Now, I've never lost control, I've just felt excruciating discomfort, OCD, paranoia, just plainly feeling and knowing that currently, I'm insane, and sometimes convincing myself that I will never be normal again. I've felt some fucked up shit before man, like walking around on a cloudy day, with thunder heads all around and feeling static and shit all over my body, running up and down, very scary. I've always held in my want to scream, panic and destroy though. I can't bring myself to ever lose control that much, be the center of attention like that. I've had plenty of moments where I was close, like literally legs shaking, twitching, just wanting to freak out and jump out a window, but I've always held it together.

My negative effects all stem from my buddy going through a psychotic break last summer, induced by 5.5g shrooms. I've been afraid of that ever since, that night looms in my memory so prominently, for a while it even consumed my life. These things leave permanent effects, things that occur whilst tripping you will find resurface in later trips and over the course of my days I've done some things that have kind of tainted the whole experience. Paranoid delusions it seems tend to build up, almost every trip is more paranoid than the last, and thus, it is time to put psychedelics away, at least the long-lasting 5HT ones.

The experience just feels so tainted, I need to take a long time away to let it cleanse, ya know? I haven't tripped on anything except K since late May, I'm keeping it this way until I feel back to myself again, when I stop thinking back to last summer, stop having body tingles that I associate with DOB, until my HPPD settles down, my neck pain goes away (not from psychedelics, per se, but I associate cracking my neck with them, and on acid, oh my do I ever get OCD on cracking my neck, it is terrible), paranoid OCD (I'm kind of obsessive about being paranoid, I'm really not afraid of anything specific, or general, I'm just edgy...some looming thing to be worried about) All these things...

I too was once that guy, the guy who will stand behind any psychedelic, recommend them to everyone and always give out good information. Now, I believe only a select group of people are really fit for psychedelics, I'm talking a minority. I see far too much insecurity and timidity in people...I truly believe psychedelics are only for the strongest of minds. They can warp your mind, your thoughts so much...To a point where, well, you never think or feel the same again or for a very, very long time.

I'm still fascinated by them, but I truly, truly don't think I'm cut out for them anymore. Which is sad, because I was always for psychedelics, anti the other, easy drugs, but now I find myself drawn to benzos and alcohol and opiates to escape my edgy reality. Escape isn't completely right, I'm not really seeking that, it's just I don't like how I usually feel, and I'm quite hesitant to go to my doctor/psychiatrist about my HPPD and lasting paranoia/OCD because it's so taboo, like fuck, they don't even take these things seriously enough...2mg Clonazepam once a day I'd be sorted but no, because this is drug induced anxiety and HPPD is obviously drug induced. Can't give a druggy prescription drugs now!

I'm done now...I don't think I can quit smoking, lol, this is just horrible, the withdrawals, they make me feel so insane, I don't even know how much of this posts negativity is withdrawal induced or real...I just really, really want withdrawals and cravings to go away or start smoking again, because I ain't doing this for the health, really, more for finances. K sorry, I'm done, move along, lol. Time for some vapo hits and K
 
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i would be interested to hear, and i think it might benefit the OP to hear also, about some people's experiences with "difficult trips"... not so much the difficult trip itself, but you know how everyone always says "you may have some deep down fears/issues that you need to resolve", well i'd like to hear what these issues are for some of you and how some of you have addressed these issues to end up better off in the end, if anyone is brave enough to share :)
 
hmm.. i think we should have a B&D bad trips thread.

bad trips happen and a superthread would be a good place for people to go that have psychotic breaks or negative or dificult experiences. it would have alot of things to divert an oncoming bad trip as well as ways to cope durring and after one.

mods?
 
Last weekend i dropped acid for the first time, i ate three and a half hits, one of some very pote and 2.5 of some ok stuff, and i gotta admit i went in to bad trip mode a couple times. but i went into it aware enough to get myself out of environments that were making me uncomfortable e.g. starting off that chain reaction. I was in a campground/concert environment and had to change settings multiple times to stay sane. the crazy weird tripped out P-funk in the background didnt help much, but you can overcome that stuff with an aware mind and active legs (change of environment helps alot).
 
IGNVS said:
hmm.. i think we should have a B&D bad trips thread.

bad trips happen and a superthread would be a good place for people to go that have psychotic breaks or negative or dificult experiences. it would have alot of things to divert an oncoming bad trip as well as ways to cope durring and after one.

mods?
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You're right, that would be a good idea. If another mod doesn't do it soon, I'll do it when I have some more time.
 
Psyduck said:
Unrelated to the original post but on-topic:

Do some people here consider themselves 'immune' for extreme out-of-hands difficult/bad trips as described above, i.e. have you taken LSD like 50-100 times and never lost control in a way described above. Of course, some trips would have been more pleasant while others were perhaps more serious.

I guess that, when people totally lose control, it always happens in some sort of a chain reaction and does not happen instantly. Are some people more able to stop the chain fast enough or can it happen to anybody irrelevant of set, setting, personality, emotional stability, control of anxiety,...
Click to expand...
I know a guy who can take acid like it's nothing. However, i think the reason why is because he's not the type of person you'd call a "thinker." He has no ambition or creativity, no desire to do anything with his life, seems perfectly content as an alcoholic. i guess only the blissfully ignorant can really enjoy acid for it's visuals, the rest of us tend to get a bit of mindfuck.
 
SomeKindaLove said:
I don't like the term "bad trip," except in extreme cases -- perhaps yours qualifies, as it sounds like you were out of your own conscious control. This can happen. Instead of "bad trips," though, I like to think about "difficult trips," which can be unpleasant, even nightmarish, but, in the end, can be the most productive of all.
Click to expand...


agree. my two most difficult trips (1 LSD, 1 Mush) were the ones that changed me permanently for the better.
 
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