Purposefull
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 10, 2016
- Messages
- 112
For several years I was addicted to heroin then went into treatment for several years and remained clean and over the past year I've found myself using much cleaner stuff, no longer street sourced,but it still is something I struggle with.
Now I use used fentynol patches cut into strips. My elderly father is prescribed them for his severe spinal stenosis and I admininister them, putting them on and removing them for him so my supply is steady and free which is good news /bad news..
I too have many pain issues, but coming from a background of abuse doctors are very hesitant to prescribe pain medication so when I needed them I turned to my dads used patches. At first it was just one or two per month, but over time it's grown to a regular thing and I stay at the same level rarely varying my own use.
I feel terrible and keep it hidden from him and have never stolen a new patch from him nor any other of his medicine, but the used patches work very well, but I know that I have to find a way off of them.
I considered treatment, but I know how that works and have little patience for most clinic employees and their arbitrary nonsense approach.
Recently I began trying kratom and amazingly it actually works to a degree, but it just never seems to get me past the last hurdle.
I seldom feel the euphoric effects of neither kratom nor the patches nor do I want to. It would be very easy to go overboard with the patches, but I don't want to. I simply want to control my own pain which is not addressed properly by doctors.
So here I am trying to make the best of things. I cut 1 100mcg patch up and it lasts me 3 days. Kratom helps beat down the morning sickness so I'm able to function and take care of my dad and his wife.
I've been on this roller coaster now pretty much steady for about 2 years and not quite sure where to go from here. I cannot tell my dad as he would only blame himself and would go into a severe depression spiral.
Now I use used fentynol patches cut into strips. My elderly father is prescribed them for his severe spinal stenosis and I admininister them, putting them on and removing them for him so my supply is steady and free which is good news /bad news..
I too have many pain issues, but coming from a background of abuse doctors are very hesitant to prescribe pain medication so when I needed them I turned to my dads used patches. At first it was just one or two per month, but over time it's grown to a regular thing and I stay at the same level rarely varying my own use.
I feel terrible and keep it hidden from him and have never stolen a new patch from him nor any other of his medicine, but the used patches work very well, but I know that I have to find a way off of them.
I considered treatment, but I know how that works and have little patience for most clinic employees and their arbitrary nonsense approach.
Recently I began trying kratom and amazingly it actually works to a degree, but it just never seems to get me past the last hurdle.
I seldom feel the euphoric effects of neither kratom nor the patches nor do I want to. It would be very easy to go overboard with the patches, but I don't want to. I simply want to control my own pain which is not addressed properly by doctors.
So here I am trying to make the best of things. I cut 1 100mcg patch up and it lasts me 3 days. Kratom helps beat down the morning sickness so I'm able to function and take care of my dad and his wife.
I've been on this roller coaster now pretty much steady for about 2 years and not quite sure where to go from here. I cannot tell my dad as he would only blame himself and would go into a severe depression spiral.
