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Back (ish)

pontifex01

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
70
Location
Getting on with it
The egomaniacal cunt in me thinks people may have speculated on my whereabouts as of late and the Alakazam-ing of my posts and all that.

Just wanted to say I'm fine, alive. Kicked the heroin, For Good. Cold turkey after what worked out to be nearly four months of daily use, on top of 200mg tramadol for 6 months, was not easy. I threw up on myself, shat the bed, shat on the floor, kicked, screamed, blah blah blah. Now dealing with PAWS, rebuilding my relationship with my wife and my family, not to mention my mind and body. I'm with good friends and family, and dealing with my grief in the most constructive way possible.

Heroin is a cunt of a drug. As I said before - 5 years chipping with opiates and I never slipped until Aaron died, so I can't trust myself anymore, so that's that.
I prefer dissociatives and GHB anyway. Always have, and thank fuck I don't have any mates who use and nobody else with my dealer's (deleted) number.

So yeah, hi everyone. I won't be around much. After fucking up my life for a fair while I've got my own shit to deal with, and when you're staying clean lurking on a drug forum is Not A Smart Move.

You guys were of immense help to me when I was falling apart. Literally the only people I could relate to when I was at my darkest. So thank you everybody who PM'd me, who wrote to me, who listened. BL at its finest, and EADD is its fucking finest, whether we have spats, deaths or schizoid breakdowns.

I'll be around.<3

Stay away from the needles and the brown stuff kiddies =D
 
You are unique, Ponti. You are the only bluelighter with 1 post on bluelight.

Good luck with your continued sober living man.
 
Good for you, cutting out the nasty brown stuff.

All the best mate :)
 
Hi, it's Farmaz (Yeah I got back on here but you were gone by then)
I wish you luck, for me I find the PAWS actually worse than actually kicking the gear, the depression that comes after kicking I find one of the worst things, I wish you luck :)
 
Well done mate congrats. good to see you came back to let us know how things are. all the best
 
Welcome back. May I ask how did you manage to erase every single post you made? Did you do it manually? If yes, how long did it take?

Hope things improve your way
 
Well done on kicking the gear Ponti,not an easy thing to do.
All the best for the future mate, I hope all goes well for you.
 
Glad to see you back if just to find out you're doing ok, hope shit keeps getting better
 
congrats on kicking the smack and glad to hear your rebuilding your life and in a good position to do so!

onwards and upwards! :)
 
onwards and upwards! :)

Quoted for fucking truth. That's it summed in three words.

Farmaz good to see you back man. You are a unique individual indeed. [edit] Oh and you]re bang on about the PAWS. Granted it's not living, breathing hell and physical agony for two weeks but the more annoying, protracted, niggling grayness of everything. It's receding, mostly because of a brutal self-imposed workout regimen and lots and lots of amino-acids. That and family and friends. I'm lucky to have People, I know that much. God bless them for putting up with all my shit, my wife especially.

Sammy G, I've been a member since before the mods on EADD and had more posts than the times your mother got tied to the bed post. Go back to turning tricks with infected pricks, sunshine. This is Europe. Not the place for you.

Oh and to clarify: The admins wiped my posts, but not because I donated money to BL (which I do anyway yearly) and not because of the "new procedure" (which is something I disagree with, as Ali knows and we've discussed). They did it because they're Good People despite the occasional bout of despotism. I know I fucking would if I had to deal with cunts like me and you every day. God knows what makes them put up with it...

How've you all been keeping anyway? What's the goss, girlfriends? <3
 
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