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Back after a six year battle with Heroin, learning how to be clean again

FordRiverFailed

FordRiverFailed

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 19, 2010
Messages
251
Location
In the middle of the tunnel, I think I see a light
Hi, for those of you who don't know me, I'm FordRiverFailed and sometimes I go by SomaComa. I used to be a hacktivist with anonymous and I'm still pretty vocally against overbearing government secrecy. If anyone ever needs advice on being anonymous on the internet, using Linux or Ubuntu, or just general IT questions then I'm your guy. Happy to help actually. PM me and I'll even send you my website if you pass my not a stalker test, haha.

I joined this community because in my early twenties (26 now so not that old I guess) I loved all psychedelics and I wanted to know as much as possible. So much in fact, I enrolled in a great college and began studying biochem/cellular molecular biology, Spanish, and Neurology. I'm an atheist so I even aprouched seemingly mystical psychs like DMT with a skeptical mind, although I could never claim to explain that one. I'm a pretty seasoned psychonaught if you will, but early on I got caught up in Oxymorphone and later Heroin.

I have generalized anxiety disorder, I just found out, with a tendency towards mania, sort of like bipolar but monopolar instead. The doctors tell me this is why I self medicated. I've had to stop smoking pot for drug tests, which is a bummer, because I'm something like 47 days clean and marijuana helped so much. Now I'm taking fist fulls of benzos, as prescribed I'm not taking more they just prescribed a lot, and I'm not so sure that's the best thing for me, although it does help.

Sorry for the run on sentence, I'm a huge music festival fan. If you meet me at a show and I'm rolling or tripping you are guaranteed a big sincere hug. Nice to meet all of you again. It's been a very long time indeed.

FordRiverFailed
 
Hi there this is the only post I've learned to reply on and I'm wondering if you could help me out with something... As a six year addict I'm sure you've come across many if not all of the complications you run into being an addict..if not maybe you can help me figure out how to post a forum. Thanks much:)
 
Sure, more than happy to help with both if that's what you were asking. What are you having trouble with in regards to posting, you did it just fine there. And if you have questions about addiction, shoot (pun sort of intended).

Edit: Sorry for that, haha, my sense of humor can be off putting at times. I'll try and keep it in check.
 
Last edited:
Hey all,
I've just registered a few hrs ago, trying to find info on furanyl fentanyl withdrawal.. damn mobile site won't let me make a thread though! Says "you must select a thread prefix"
Could someone tell me what I'm doing wrong
 
Not sure if I will be making it thru another 24hrs, I'm kickin a 3 month fentanyl habit... over a gram a day in the end lol I'd be dead now without the xanax
 
Dop3l3ssHopefiend said:
Not sure if I will be making it thru another 24hrs, I'm kickin a 3 month fentanyl habit... over a gram a day in the end lol I'd be dead now without the xanax
Click to expand...

If you feel in danger, go to the hospital, they will help you. Did you get my PM? I sent you an archive on Fentanyl Withdrawal.

Hope that helps and stay safe man,
FRF

Edit: If you have anymore questions at all please ask me. I'm happy to help. Hope you get to feeling better.
 
Thanks man. I didn't know I could go to hospital... lol my mom works there n she said they'll tell my junkie ass to take a hike. Would they actually dose me with a lil fent?
 
Possibly, I can't say for sure, I'd imagine more along the lines of Suboxone or something weak, but they won't just let you suffer. Maybe benzos or gabapentin? I couldn't give you any guarantees there.

When I said go to the hospital it was because you mentioned being in such bad shape you were scared. Weather they dose you or not is irrelevant if you think your health is in danger. That always comes first, otherwise we won't have these fun talks anymore.

You may be a stranger, but I'd prefer you to be alive and kicking.

Best wishes, stay strong, you got this,
FRF

If you need anything, PM me
 
I'd much rather be alive and NoT kicking lol.. I'm not concerned for my health, bt the pain and muscle spasms are enough to make a 12gauge to the head feel like a welcome release
 
Lol sorry I told you I'm not used to this dang thing yet. Well I wanted to post my own question for someone to comment on...or maybe if anyone knows any info and can reply to this. Well I've been IVing heroin for about two months now. Addict for one year. All we got here is blacktar so before slamming I was smoking it. Since slamming it I just kinda watched amd figured it out myself after a 'friend' of mine wouldn't let me get well unless I slammed. Well anywho ice had one abscess on my left inner elbow since slamming which I went to the doctor right about when it started to turn into a lump. They did the normal procedure, cut me open tell me I need to change my hanita. Look at me like I'm trash... you know the typical. Hurt like a bitch I must say. Well about 3 weeks after that I was having trouble finding a vein so I ended up digging a little deeper than I should have. Registered. So I began to inject it when it almost felt like a nerve or something... Super hard to describe but it didn't burn as bad as I read online. It did feel hot and IG definitely killllledddd, but that's after I injected the whole 30 40 units. About five seconds later i was in horrible pain and from my elbow to my fingertips developed a hive looking rash as well as burning/ being numb at the same time. I was extremely worried but after finally finding three or four of the same explanations on here I realized what I had done was shoot into an artery. Said I'd be fine but if anything further developed to see a doctor immediately. Well I had no doubt in my mind an abscess was forming a few days after and I still have antibiotics from my first one. Well I did the daily regime and it cleared up didn't hurt at all. Since then I've stuck to IVing in my hands and again my arm where the artery was shot ..is swelling like crazy and us hot to the touch. The main thing I'm worried about is the losing circulation/ eventually a limb. I will go to the doctor but I know there's no kump for them to drain yet and honestly I'd rather not go through that again. Should I take antibiotics again and also my fingers would turn black if there were circulation problems right??



Also.... I can't extend my right arm straight anymore. And it hinges and stops a little further than a 90 degree angle...that worries me big time.
 
It's all the impurities and garbage in the tar that causes that... I only IV'd black once, and only after extracting the h with ether. A gram of tar yielded less than a half g of heroin! So 50% is garbage, and it goes right in your bloodstream. Be very careful iving tar my friend. Just dissolve n snort
 
Well shit .... I was kinda scared someone would say that. I heard people jump from tar to powder and OD immediately
 
hi all, i just joined this forum a couple of days ago and still trying to find my way around. I'm on day 3 of WDs from a nasty little opiate habit i had developed after being prescribed painkillers. I'm an ex long time heroin addict that was 5 years clean so taking the pills was silly but it was to treat a genuine chronic pain issue that was driving me nuts. Anyway, after a couple of weeks i realised i was enjoying the glow of the pills and you all know the story from there. Live for my monthly script and top up with street stuff once it runs out. I'm an addiction worker and trying to advise others how to get into recovery while i was fucked was soul destroying. so, i've jumped off and took a week off work to get over the worst of it. My biggest fear was ending up back on the needle. I was IV for 10 years solid between the ages of 18 and 28. I think going back to that would end me. I'm hoping after today or tomorrow the WDs start to level off and the end comes into sight. I hope this isnt too off topic but like i said i'm trying to find my way around the place. I wish you all well wherever you are today, peace :)
 
_jlynnrov_94 said:
Lol sorry I told you I'm not used to this dang thing yet. Well I wanted to post my own question for someone to comment on...or maybe if anyone knows any info and can reply to this. Well I've been IVing heroin for about two months now. Addict for one year. All we got here is blacktar so before slamming I was smoking it. Since slamming it I just kinda watched amd figured it out myself after a 'friend' of mine wouldn't let me get well unless I slammed. Well anywho ice had one abscess on my left inner elbow since slamming which I went to the doctor right about when it started to turn into a lump. They did the normal procedure, cut me open tell me I need to change my hanita. Look at me like I'm trash... you know the typical. Hurt like a bitch I must say. Well about 3 weeks after that I was having trouble finding a vein so I ended up digging a little deeper than I should have. Registered. So I began to inject it when it almost felt like a nerve or something... Super hard to describe but it didn't burn as bad as I read online. It did feel hot and IG definitely killllledddd, but that's after I injected the whole 30 40 units. About five seconds later i was in horrible pain and from my elbow to my fingertips developed a hive looking rash as well as burning/ being numb at the same time. I was extremely worried but after finally finding three or four of the same explanations on here I realized what I had done was shoot into an artery. Said I'd be fine but if anything further developed to see a doctor immediately. Well I had no doubt in my mind an abscess was forming a few days after and I still have antibiotics from my first one. Well I did the daily regime and it cleared up didn't hurt at all. Since then I've stuck to IVing in my hands and again my arm where the artery was shot ..is swelling like crazy and us hot to the touch. The main thing I'm worried about is the losing circulation/ eventually a limb. I will go to the doctor but I know there's no kump for them to drain yet and honestly I'd rather not go through that again. Should I take antibiotics again and also my fingers would turn black if there were circulation problems right??Also.... I can't extend my right arm straight anymore. And it hinges and stops a little further than a 90 degree angle...that worries me big time.
Click to expand...
You need to go to the doctors brother. I've seen so many people lose limbs because they havent sought out treatment soon enough. Usually those things will sort themselves with time but better safe than sorry. good luck
 
I know going to the docs for an abscess can be awkward in a lot of ways, especially if ur mom works there. In all honesty I would get medical attention as soon as possible. I've seen horrible things come from abscesses , even the loss of life. Be safe
 
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