Hi bluelight folks,
I am the Opiist. %) You know what this means, right? 8)
I'm pretty high right now, blankly staring at the screen for at least a minute after each word I type, while trying not to nod off completely.
I was born in Ukraine five years after the fall of the USSR, and I immigrated to Greece with my "family" when I was 8. Greece has a very dangerous and pretty shitty drug scene, but I guess that's irrelevant to my introduction, lol.
Before I got diagnosed with depression at the age of 16, I used to like international politics and intelligence bullshit, while trying to study as much as possible so that to become a foreign service officer, until I understood that being one won't enable me to save the world or improve peoples' quality of life. I've had unexplainable feelings of sadness and guilt. You see, I was so consumed by my ambition to become a diplomat that I didn't even come to think about who I am and why I'm here. I was living inside my ambitions, learning languages and participating in MUN's, while ignoring things like my growth as a personality, making friends, going out, LIVING... All this retreating from reality has rendered me a depressed kid with an infantile and unstable personality. Antidepressants made it worse, inducing suicidal thoughts, that have turned into painful suicide attempts.
At 17, I took my first shot of Heroin. It was my first drug ever. This may seem stupid to some, but after some time of occasional use, It taught me to care about myself. It calmed my anger and my hate towards the status quo, saving me from a downhill ride towards suicide, and prevented other upcoming suicide attempts many times. Everything else followed later on. Weed and Lucy have also played key roles in my transformation. I became less depressed, I didn't wake up in despair thinking of a way to "cut this life off from me" anymore, and I actually started interacting with people.
Now I'm still in a romantic relationship with the best opiate in the world, as well as with all kinds of psychedelics. I sometimes combine Lucy with Heroin, and in the end it makes me feel that my life is still worth living...
I'm very into philosophy, and I appreciate a deep talk with a joint. (Not talking to the joint though, lol, although it happens sometimes, as I tend to talk to my drugs, as well as myself.) I like altered states and new sensations. I like to lie on the ground at night high as Empire State Building, staring at the sky and totally losing contact with my body. I also like to think about crime, drug - related not. Sometimes I commit both kinds (Guilty
). Currently on probation. Not being tested for drugs. Not caring.
I forgot to mention that I currently work at a FUNeral home, and my job is basically to dress up the dead. Did I mention that I've been through 3 stays at 3 different nuthouses? Well, I may be crazy, but I'm definitely not retarded...
Looking forward to meeting y'all. The intro was kinda long and weird lol but it's long and weird because I'm high.
Nodding off in 3... 2... 1...
Yours sincerely,
The Opiist.
I am the Opiist. %) You know what this means, right? 8)
I'm pretty high right now, blankly staring at the screen for at least a minute after each word I type, while trying not to nod off completely.
I was born in Ukraine five years after the fall of the USSR, and I immigrated to Greece with my "family" when I was 8. Greece has a very dangerous and pretty shitty drug scene, but I guess that's irrelevant to my introduction, lol.
Before I got diagnosed with depression at the age of 16, I used to like international politics and intelligence bullshit, while trying to study as much as possible so that to become a foreign service officer, until I understood that being one won't enable me to save the world or improve peoples' quality of life. I've had unexplainable feelings of sadness and guilt. You see, I was so consumed by my ambition to become a diplomat that I didn't even come to think about who I am and why I'm here. I was living inside my ambitions, learning languages and participating in MUN's, while ignoring things like my growth as a personality, making friends, going out, LIVING... All this retreating from reality has rendered me a depressed kid with an infantile and unstable personality. Antidepressants made it worse, inducing suicidal thoughts, that have turned into painful suicide attempts.
At 17, I took my first shot of Heroin. It was my first drug ever. This may seem stupid to some, but after some time of occasional use, It taught me to care about myself. It calmed my anger and my hate towards the status quo, saving me from a downhill ride towards suicide, and prevented other upcoming suicide attempts many times. Everything else followed later on. Weed and Lucy have also played key roles in my transformation. I became less depressed, I didn't wake up in despair thinking of a way to "cut this life off from me" anymore, and I actually started interacting with people.
Now I'm still in a romantic relationship with the best opiate in the world, as well as with all kinds of psychedelics. I sometimes combine Lucy with Heroin, and in the end it makes me feel that my life is still worth living...
I'm very into philosophy, and I appreciate a deep talk with a joint. (Not talking to the joint though, lol, although it happens sometimes, as I tend to talk to my drugs, as well as myself.) I like altered states and new sensations. I like to lie on the ground at night high as Empire State Building, staring at the sky and totally losing contact with my body. I also like to think about crime, drug - related not. Sometimes I commit both kinds (Guilty
). Currently on probation. Not being tested for drugs. Not caring. I forgot to mention that I currently work at a FUNeral home, and my job is basically to dress up the dead. Did I mention that I've been through 3 stays at 3 different nuthouses? Well, I may be crazy, but I'm definitely not retarded...
Looking forward to meeting y'all. The intro was kinda long and weird lol but it's long and weird because I'm high.
Nodding off in 3... 2... 1...
Yours sincerely,
The Opiist.
Welcome to the site.