+3 on that!
Apologies for the long post, but this is something I have needed to share for a while, but only just found how to put it into words thatmite make even the slightest bit of sense!
Only thing I agree on with that is that yes, this shit is sacred and needs to be respected. Otherwise it will kick your ass and teach you a serious lesson. Take that from someone that used to abuse the hell out of pure crystal and changa mixes. I used to even double dose, one full dose of changa with a full dose of crystal mixed through. You may get away with disrespecting the 'gods' a few times, but when they have had enough of you, they will kick the shit out of you in the most horrifying way possible! I got my 'lesson' a few years back, and didn't touch it again for 3 years, even tho I had a bag of pure crystal sitting there. I tried it again last year, but they were not ready to have me back. Basically I blacked out for 20 minutes, and came out of it scared shitless but with no idea why and no recollection of what happened. Obviously they were not ready to have me back!
Went for another go at rainbow this year, during shpongle. Super mega ultra dmt spliff, with two different types of crystal, one from wa and one from Victoria. Went hugely overboard with the amount I put in, as it was intended for alot more people than actually smoked it in the end. Had the most incredible psychedelic experience I will ever have. We were sitting up on the hill watching the show, slowly went deeper and deeper into the trip, when my consciousness suddenly shot down through the crowd, and there I was, sitting on stage with shpongle playing live, right in front of me. I could see them all clearly, which was unbelievable, as at the time I was actually over 100m away. They were hovering above me on glowing rings, playing my head feels like a frisbee, haha of all songs to be played, it was that one. I was enchanted by the drummer, the beats he was putting out were blowing my mind. Michele Adamson, simon posford and raja ram were all there in front of me. The Indian dancer was dancing around me, looking at me directly in the eyes, thru the eyes on his hands. All the while, i was getting huge information downloads, referencing the past, present and possible futures. Then as quickly as I got there, my consciousness flew back to my body, and I literally screamed "What the fuck?!?". I sat there for a few minutes regrouping myself, when I made a very silly decision. I saw that the spliff had gone out nearly halfway thru, so I decided to re-light it. bad move! The dmt had just given me the wost incredie experience I will ever have, and it did not like it that I went back for more. In a way that I will never be able to fully explain, I went thru the doors of life and back out thru the gates of death. In my mind, I literally died. Not in my physical being, but a part of my mental self died that night. I cannot explain how, I don't even have the words to describe what I went through. But I died. I disrespected the gift I had been given, and the spirits took a part of me as payment for my disrespect. As I had also had a concoction of mushrooms, LSD and shovel loads of MDMA, my mind shattered into a million pieces. I got stuck in the inevitable loops that were to come after such an experience. The air went stale, and smelt like death. The only other time I have smelt that smell was when I had a 'death trip' off one tab at a Mayan day out of time party. The smell is unmistakable to me, it is the smell of death. The smell of the grim reapers breath, if you will. I was stuck like this for ages, until my girlfriend tried to escort me back to camp. As we walked back to camp, we were walking towards the big lighting tower in the camp grounds. At this point, I became convinced that my girlfriend was walking me towards the light. The love of my life was walking me to my death. I stopped in my tracks and refused the go. I said I had to go back to the party, I refused the walk to my death. I staggered back to the festival, I was going to sit in the CoSM tent n get my shit together. As I walked towards the CoSM tent, I walked past the Crystal Mandala dome. Something beyond my physical control stopped me in my tracks. I was determined to go to the CoSM tent, but I could not physically move my legs to walk there. Once again, something beyond my physical control turned my head and made me look at the Crystal Mandala dome. I turned my head back, trying to walk to the CoSM tent. All the while, all I could smell was death. But once again, something higher than me forced my head to turn and look at the Crystal Mandala dome. It was then I noticed that only when I focussed on the dome, the air went fresh, I was breathing life again. My feet started walking me towards the dome, I could not stop it. It was only when I entered the dome and sat down, that I started the feel like I was alive again, that I would be ok. I sat there and cried for ages, and then meditated on what had just happened. The crystals told me why it had happened, that my pure greed to have more dmt after such a blissful experience. I got taught a serious lesson, one that i still have not gotten over and don't think I ever fully will!
Since then I have felt a huge calling to travel to Peru and undertake Ayahuasca healing. I want to speak with the dmt spirits and apologize for my greed and disrespect. I feel this is the only way I will get back the part of me that the dmt took that night!
I have had plenty of mind-blowing psychedelic experiences, each one telling me a story, and each one scaringly connected with the last. From death trips, to Jesus trips. But this one was so different, so real. And so very terrifying! I believe that the reason this one affected me so much is that dmt IS real. The place where you go when you 'breakthrough' IS real. It exists, just not in this world or dimension. Dmt is undeniably the most profound psychedelic/drug/whateveruouwannacallit, and it is NOT to be disrespected. If you do, be prepared for the consequences and accept them. There is a lesson there, every person has a different lesson. But the lesson is real, take it in and use it. For me the lesson was greed. I have been truly humbled, and will never be the same again!
Respect DMT, and it will show you a whole new world!
