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August getting/staying sober v. you can do it!

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Just A Guy said:
And GOOD MORNING!

A special hello to my "Kickin' August's Ass" teammembers

Hopefully all of you have had more satisfactions than regrets this month. I hope each of you have a blessed day!
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Yayuh shoutouts to our fighting brothren and sithren!!! Best month I've had in a long time! Day 9 and feeling fantastic :). Things are looking and feeling better everyday!

chef, keeping my fingers crossed for you buddy! As long as you're doing something you love you'll never work a day in your life (or so they say), I believe it! Positive thinking always!!!! xxxxxxx

Being in FL summers are brutal, I'm looking forward to September and a bit of a cool down. :)

Lets make these last 2 days count!!!
 
Well i had a slip up last night. I ended up copping last night a bit of H <snip> as well as coke <snip>
Felt pretty shitty about it this morning (well 2 pm, slept at 6am) , just because that money could have been MUCH better spent.. like on weed which i'm almost out of. Or a phone which is broken.. but i digress.

But i'm not back to square 1, by any means. It was 8 days in so i doubt i'll have any withdrawal, and if so, very minor.

In all honestly I don't feel too bad.
This slip emphasized to me that I don't want to waste money on such drugs, which offer immediate gratification but long term carnage. I did not appreciate the 2+ hours i spent waiting, since i met my guy twice. Also the amounts seemed short and the H didn't even get me too high after over a week sober. Probably weak stuff. But i've gotten as high as i can get, no need to keep chasing that dragon.

Truthfully i'm just horny and want to stay off the drugs and get some puss. Will make that a goal, its been almost two months now.


Regardless today is day 1 for me, but compared to my last "day 1" I feel like i'm in a much better position, in that i'm not physically dependent.
Using didn't even really help my pain, although there was yayo. Well I'm gonna <snip> lie on the river. Mmm.


Also going to rip out 100 pushups and 60 chin-ups. Want to get down muscle ups as well as planche pushups.
 
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Dr Pepper said:
Well i had a slip up last night. I ended up copping last night a bit of H <snip> as well as coke <snip>
Felt pretty shitty about it this morning (well 2 pm, slept at 6am) , just because that money could have been MUCH better spent.. like on weed which i'm almost out of. Or a phone which is broken.. but i digress.

But i'm not back to square 1, by any means. It was 8 days in so i doubt i'll have any withdrawal, and if so, very minor.

In all honestly I don't feel too bad.
This slip emphasized to me that I don't want to waste money on such drugs, which offer immediate gratification but long term carnage. I did not appreciate the 2+ hours i spent waiting, since i met my guy twice. Also the amounts seemed short and the H didn't even get me too high after over a week sober. Probably weak stuff. But i've gotten as high as i can get, no need to keep chasing that dragon.

Truthfully i'm just horny and want to stay off the drugs and get some puss. Will make that a goal, its been almost two months now.


Regardless today is day 1 for me, but compared to my last "day 1" I feel like i'm in a much better position, in that i'm not physically dependent.
Using didn't even really help my pain, although there was yayo. Well I'm gonna <snip> lie on the river. Mmm.


Also going to rip out 100 pushups and 60 chin-ups. Want to get down muscle ups as well as planche pushups.
Click to expand...


Yeah, a few weeks ago I'd found that nasal spray bottle full of ethylphenidate solution, and it wasn't enough to get me going, but enough to remind me how worthless that shit was. I actually think it helped me, because it reinforced my decision to quit; that the stuff simply isn't that good in the first place, and definitely not worth it. Using is an expense that costs more than simply money.

(Not that eph is the only thing I'm quitting, but stims and psychs are my DOC.)
 
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Sorry to state amounts, didn't realize that was frowned upon. Was a small amount. And i smoked on the river.. is that taboo ?
 
We try to keep it out of Recovery sections especially the getting/staying clean thread since people may be trying to abstain from weed. Wasn't meant to be discouraging I just gotta snip that stuff if I think it might be triggering (my reasons might seem abrupt but it's just because I'm leaving a quick professional-ish reason trail). Catch mah drift :P. No reason to apologize <3.

Ending of Day 9 :). Success feels awesome.
 
I feel like giving up. There is no amount of hard work and perserverence I can throw at my child situation to make my ex do the right thing. I feel used up. Why was I punished/being punished for doing the right thing? I'm about to lose my car even though I work seventy hours a week. I've thrown everything I have at it and it just isn't good enough. What did I do to deserve this?
 
I just don't understand MBC why are you unwilling to sick a damn lawyer on her??

And what will giving up do, just justify crazies nonsense.. just pay what you can and save up for a lawyer.. get another cash job.. start thinking outside the box but in a good way.. no cougars though;).. you know when me and my ex went at this I bet there was more than a few people that thought I was going to make a bad descion and climb into a bottle or go on a big run.. I thought no fucking way and did the exact opposite.. and i'm pretty damn proud of, instead I got a lawyer and fought it tooth and nail.. when the fucking lawyer pretty much through in the towel I started writing my own submissions for the court,, he told me he could not make the arguments I wanted as they were to complex for a five page submission.. to tell you the truth I think he wanted to bang my ex's lawyer, but anyway yeah i wrote all my own submissions he just edited them grammar a little and turned them in.. what was funny, at first told me that I was doing this all wrong that what i was doing was going to piss the courts off.. then when it was submitted and the attorney of my ex started to loose her mind a bit and started offering deals and more deals.. but i just kept writing my own stuff and never really conceded to her pushes, pissed her right off, but more important she was told that i was the one writing them..

her lawyer new allot about me and I went through two investigations by child care determiners and against the explicit orders of my lawyer I was completelly honest with them.. not quite a fifth step but you have the idea.. they both wrote this insanity that I should be severely limited with contact.. yeah well since my ex worked full time during the day and I was able to set my own hours for work I was with the little guy and did everything for him during the day, diapers, feeding, chilling, singing, playing.. the whole show, and I was a really good dad and my ex new this as well as she is a good person.. but my lawyer told me that he had never seen anyone get past two negative recommendations so i needed to take the deal..

yeah I didn't take the deal and walked into court against all odds, I think the fact that the reports were so unjust in their betrayal, the fact that i didn't hide anything, the fact that I wrote my own arguments in a really solid if unorthodox way, enough to frazzle a pretty good lawyer.. so it was either that my ex realized that what they were initially going for was wrong or they figured that a case that has been so stacked towards them could be torn to shreds.. and it would have been, get this they had me take that 500 or six hundred question psychology test the one everyone has been using for years and years, and i did so well on it that the highly respected child care determiner said that I must have cheated or had someone tell me how to beat the test.. shit there is nothing true in that statement.. and i mean come on now if the test was that easy to manipulate it wouldn't have been used for decades and had such a good reputation and had only been revised once.. it is the test they use to determine top cecret clerance.>here<.. and this crazy lady was saying that the results even though they clearly showed addiction and everything else, yeah she claimed I beat this test.. c'mon lady.. here i a little bit more on the problems of using these types of tests and no where does it say they can be beat >here<..

yeah so anyway against all odds I didn't walk out with the fifty fifty split like I wanted but I walked out with a deal that i can work with, and if my ex changed her mind i will never know, but if she did I thank her, but then again a case that seems so staked in someone's favor is bound to fall apart when the truth came out..

I guess what i'm trying to say is fight fight fight.. you cant ever give up on your kid.. think about it if you give up on your kid they will have to stay with and rely on your x for the rest of their lives... and from the little you have said about her that seems like a pretty rotten deal.. fight fight fight.. dont role over and die:!<3
 
I spent my life savings on lawyers. I did the anger management and relapse prevention the court asked of me. The stopping point for me is that she told the police and the court that I was abusive to both my son and her (which I'm absolutely not nor was I ever) the key to these shackles rests solely in her hands. She chose her mother as my supervisor and her mother is just as big a scumbag as her. I spent two years fighting in court. I just have to be patient and hope she gives up being so vindictive and spiteful though I doubt she will knowing how easy she has it now.
 
Any final words to say to August before we start Septsober? Do you like my cheesy title? =D
 
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